


If I Ever Fall In Love

by morningssofgold



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Second Chances, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 67,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold
Summary: Malcolm knows his life is complicated but he also knows he has the chance to make it better–to do better–only what he doesn't know is that he isn't the only one with secrets and Dani's life is far more complicated than he ever imagined.Set Post 1x20
Relationships: Malcolm Bright / Dani Powell
Comments: 70
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _If I say that I will be your one and only_  
>  _Promise that you'll never leave me lonely_  
>  _I just wanna be the one you need_  
>  If I Ever Fall In Love // Shai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting here watching you go insane  
> I've been sitting here watching us fade away  
> Baby, don't you see, what you done threw away  
> Know it's hitting you, on the loop, on replay
> 
> Forgive Me // Chloe x Halle

Malcolm wondered just where he’d go from here. He wondered just when he’d escape the terrible pins and needles feeling that had overtaken him every time he thought about his partner. He knew where he’d gone wrong and he knew that Dani didn’t trust him anymore–not the way she used to.

She’d forgiven him. When he said that he wasn’t his father, she’d believed him. After making so many mistakes–after doing all he could to push her away, she’d taken a step back from him and he hadn’t been prepared for just how much that _hurt._

It was what he wanted. He didn’t want Dani’s closeness because she’d never be as close as he really wanted her. She’d never be more than his partner but he couldn’t stand the emptiness at having nothing at all. It was unbearable.

As he sat in the conference room, staring at CSU photos for their latest case, Malcolm couldn’t help his mind from drifting back to his partner. He’d promised her in the morgue that he’d do better, but all he’d done was break promises to her. He couldn’t stand coming face to face with the realization that he wanted more than her partnership. He just wanted _her_.

Dani was the best it would ever get for him. He knew that–he’d _always_ known that but what was the point of trying for the best, knowing he didn’t deserve it anyway. But now after being faced with many truths he couldn’t stop running from, Malcolm wanted to try again and for real–he just didn’t know how.

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani sat at her desk, looking through her notes for the Endicott case that had come to screeching halt as the man himself was nowhere to be found. As much as she’d love to make the evil man pay for everything he tried to take from her, her mind was elsewhere. The one place it often was–on her partner.

Dani felt like things were better than they had been recently but there was still something lingering between them. Something unspoken–unnamed–and neither of them seemed to know what to do about it.

Bright had done the one thing she’d never expected. Weeks ago, he’d been there for her when no one else had been. She remembered falling apart. She remembered his warmth–the softness in his pale eyes that hadn’t previously been for her as he reached for her hand, covering it with his. 

She remembered his thumb gently brushing over her knuckles, his little finger reaching out covering her thumb, making sure all of her fingers were protected. It was a very Bright like gesture. The Bright, Dani _thought_ she knew. 

_Sorry for doubting you_ , she’d practically whimpered as he turned that soft gaze on her. Dani didn’t know what she was doing as everything had been coming apart at the seams then but in that moment, all she knew was that she didn’t want Bright’s distance either. He’d given her honesty for the first time in a long time and she wanted to do the same.

Now that things were at least seemingly normal and Gil had recovered from his stab wound courtesy of Nicholas Endicott–enough to return to work–Dani didn’t know if she still wanted what she’d wanted that night in the hospital.

After kicking down Endicott’s door–one of many–and not being able to find him, she’d gone back home to her apartment in Morningside Heights and had been thoroughly reminded of what was really important.

Ideally, it would’ve been nice to be with someone who deserved the love she had to give–the love she _wanted_ to give but she wouldn’t die without it. Bright couldn’t try for her when the stakes were low. If he knew the truth–if he knew _everything_ –he probably wouldn’t be able to run fast enough.

Maybe it was for the best. After all, what Bright wanted, he hadn’t seen in her and what he did see, it obviously wasn’t enough. 

It really was for the best because the more she thought about it, the more she realized that he’d _never_ choose this.

––––––––––––––––

“Hey, you, um, got something?” Dani asked from behind him as he stood at the whiteboard, deep in thought. 

“I wish,” Malcolm murmured, looking at their two victims, each with gunshot wounds to the head. On the surface, this wouldn’t seem like a case that would make it past Homicide and to Major Crimes but a card was left at each crime scene–one depicting Edward the Confessor–therefore designating it a case for the department of falling sword death. 

Dani walked to stand beside him, peering closely at the picture of Saint Edward, “Edward is the patron saint of kings...so just what we need a serial killer with delusions of grandeur.”

Malcolm turned toward her. “Most serial killers suffer from delusions of grandeur but...you’re a Catholic? ” he said with surprise as Dani nodded. Religious allegory usually piqued his interest but he was more interested in the fact that he now knew something about Dani that he previously didn’t.

His partner didn’t volunteer much about her life. Despite him being someone with more secrets that anything else, Dani knew far more about him than he knew about her. On the very first day they met, facing down one of his father’s copycats, he’d practically put his entire life on display for her–every excruciating detail. “I feel like there’s so much about you I don’t know like I didn’t know that.”

Dani shrugged her thin, leather jacket clad shoulders. “You didn’t ask.” 

Malcolm blinked as he didn’t think he had to. It wasn’t that he thought he was _owed_ her life story but he just thought by now, she’d feel comfortable talking to him or at least telling him things about herself, but clearly he was wrong.

He was honestly beginning to see just how badly he’d failed at doing better for her. 

Malcolm sighed, wanting to make this better somehow. “Dani–"

“Powell, I need you and JT to go take a ride,” Gil cut in, sticking his head in the the door as Dani wasted no time acquiescing to their boss’s orders, leaving Malcolm to ruminate in his many mistakes alone.

––––––––––––––––

“I take it, canvassing didn’t pan out,” Bright said with a small smile as he leaned against the file cabinet, back from the crime lab himself. He’d hoped that getting a closer look at the victims would better help him do his job–it hadn’t. 

“No, apparently, when someone is shot execution style in a high-rise with tons of tenants, no one sees or hears a thing,” Dani sighed, brushing her dark curls back from her face before going back to her notes. If they were looking for a killer on some type of crusade, it was only a matter of time before he’d kill again and she _had_ to find something to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Dani, um…can we talk?” She looked up and saw Bright suddenly looking uneasy, biting his lip. He was fidgeting with the cuffs of his ivory dress shirt and he looked like there was something he wanted to say to her–something important. She wondered if he even knew how many tells he had or maybe she just knew him that well.

“Sure, what’s up?” Dani angled her body towards him, hopping off the conference room table, choosing to lean against it instead.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot about us recently and I just…I wanna start over.”

“I already apologized for doubting you and I mean, I know you wouldn’t kill anyone.” When she’d first met Bright, Dani had immediately dismissed him as just another cocky, rich boy. Someone who obviously thought he was the smartest in the room. It had surprised her–drawn her in when she saw just how _genuine_ he was. 

When Bright stopped being that way, when that person who showed her his heart was replaced by someone who lied, deceived and lashed out–she honestly didn’t know what he was capable of. Maybe it was her who’d been fooled but seeing Bright’s sad eyes–his vulnerability when he plainly stated that he wasn’t his father. She’d known it was the truth.

Bright shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. I…I would like another chance to do better for you.” Dani’s mouth opened and closed as she didn’t expect the conversation to end up _here_. That place they didn’t talk about about. That place they both pretended didn’t exist.

Right then, she was reminded again of that time in the conference room as his crystalline eyes were just as sad now as they were then but she _couldn’t_ do that. She couldn’t give him that. She’d done it already and it didn’t work.

“Bright, _I_ wanted that from the beginning but _you_ didn’t and I can’t keep riding the rollercoaster with you. That’s not fair,” Dani said honestly. She hated how he shrunk into himself at her words, reminding her of a kicked puppy but not everything could be about _what_ Bright wanted and _when_ he wanted it.

She just couldn’t give her all to someone who wouldn’t give a little–every night that became more and more apparent.

“No, I get it and I understand,” Bright said quietly, unable to meet her eyes. He really didn’t and he never would.

Dani’s phone buzzed, drawing them both away from whatever just happened. Their breakup for a never-was. 

She groaned as she quickly texted back. She’d been so wrapped up in the new case and then the Endicott one that still on her desk waiting for a signature she couldn’t give just yet that she’d forgotten that in her situation, home and work sometimes tended to overlap–something she really shouldn’t have forgotten as her eyes went to the conference room door.

Malcolm followed Dani’s stare, trying to shake off the ache in his heart that was entirely of his own making. He didn’t deserve a second chance but he’d been hoping against hope that she’d give him one anyway. 

Without Dani, he had no one and Malcolm hadn’t realized that until she wasn’t there anymore. After he found out the truth that his ex girlfriend, Eve, had never wanted him–that she’d lied and used him–he’d felt the world end in real time, but only _Dani_ had made it better and she hadn’t even been there physically. Just the thought of her presence soothed him when he was hurting. He couldn’t explain it and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to admit just what that meant. Now, Malcolm was ready to but it was too late. 

He misread the signs and now they weren’t there anymore. Pulling him out of thoughts that were almost too painful to bear, Malcolm watched as a child slowly opened the door. A little girl dressed in a blue peacoat not unlike the green one Dani herself wore, black leggings and little Uggs. She appeared to be about three years old though maybe younger as she was _tiny_. Thinking to how much he actually did know about Dani, he was certain she was too old to have a sibling this young–she hadn’t mentioned having any siblings at all. 

As the toddler came closer, Malcolm could honestly say that she was the cutest child he’d ever seen. She had a head of curly dark hair nearly identical to Dani’s only her curls a bit looser, more ringlet-like. Her golden complexion was also like Dani’s only slightly lighter. The little girl’s big brown eyes and bow shaped mouth were also identical to Dani’s.

_Wait…this couldn’t be…_

Malcolm looked at Dani who was still watching the little girl with an incredibly warm smile on her face as she came closer. The toddler wrapped her little arms around Dani’s knees. He watched his partner lean down, cupping the little girl's face and musing her curls. This was Dani’s _daughter_. Dani was a… _mom_.

It was obvious as that type of affection would only be between a mother and child and suddenly so much more about his partner made sense. This is why Dani kept herself _to_ herself. Her life was far more complicated than Malcolm could’ve ever imagined and he wasn’t the only one with secrets–only Dani didn’t trust him with hers. That realization burned in his chest.

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani looks up as Bright stared at her with something that could only be described as _shock_. This was the reason she couldn’t give him that same energy. Her time–her life–belonged to someone else. Her little one. Her _Nomi_.

She watched as Bright squatted down to get eye level with her daughter.

“Hi, I’m Bright. What’s your name?” Her partner’s face was as soft as she’d ever seen it. It was something Dani didn’t believe he was even capable of. The warmth and sweetness he’d shown her at the hospital was _nothing_ compared to this moment. 

She’d gotten so used to Bright’s volatile frustration and his cold anger, she didn’t even think _this_ person could exist.

“Nomi,” her little one replied softly, smiling bashfully and shyly tucking closer to her leg.

Bright smiled in return, only this time his smile reached the corners of his eyes, making them crinkle in a way she found ridiculously cute. “It’s very nice to meet you, Nomi.”

Just as Bright had painfully reminded her that her heart only truly had room for one, he’d gone and reminded her why she’d wanted to make room in the first place and Dani really didn’t know how to feel about it.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm stared up at his exposed ceiling. He should be working as that was what he usually did when his mind wouldn’t let him rest–not that it ever really did. Especially not now as all he saw when he closed his eyes was Endicott’s dead-eyed stare and his sister’s blood splattered face. 

He sighed as he’d been dying to tell Dani. She was still under the impression that Endicott was missing and he was–except now there was nothing left of him to find. He didn’t know how to lay yet another one of his burdens on his partner’s shoulders, knowing they weren’t the way they used to be and knowing what he knew about her, Malcolm didn’t even think he could.

He’d love nothing more than to _always_ have Dani to talk to because even when she didn’t understand entirely–she tried to but his insecurity kept him from doing that. His insecurity kept him believing that he’d never be enough for someone like her. 

Malcolm had always known just how obviously _different_ he was, but he couldn’t stand the thought of that reminder being coldly and cruelly shoved right back in his face when Dani–as kind as she was–attempted to let him down easy. When she told him that he couldn’t feel _that_ way about her. But he’d been wrong, Dani had wanted him to do better–he just didn’t think he could.

He was someone who could barely take care of himself–what would _she_ want with _him?_ Those thoughts were all the more true as every day he saw Dani giving 100 percent to the job, she made time for him when he needed it–and he unfortunately always did for one reason or another–while taking care of a child at home.

Malcolm closed his eyes, the guilt of how he’d wasted her time overwhelmed him. The guilt of how he’d been too afraid to become even more invested in his partner than he already was overwhelmed him. As he now knew that the care Dani gave to him–she really didn’t have to. She hadn’t cared for him out of obligation as he’d always thought–she done it because she wanted to.

He sat up, roughly raking his hands through his hair as he thought of all the trivialities he’d thoughtlessly dumped on Dani’s shoulders. How he’d consumed her with his relationship problems as he’d sped toward new pain when he should’ve had the sense to let it go. How he’d let grief consume him as he tried to find his ex's killer. He'd forced his pain to become Dani’s pain. And she was right, that wasn’t fair, especially knowing what she had to deal with every day.

He's seen firsthand how hard it was to be a mom. He’d watched his own mother mentally check out–finding solace at the bottom of a bottle–when forced to raise him and Ainsley on her own after his father had been arrested and _his_ mother had means. She had far more than the above average person did. 

Dani did it on her own as a young, working mom. She didn’t check out because Malcolm knew his partner well enough to know that even when things were hard, she’d _never_ stopped trying for someone who depended on her.

––––––––––––––––––

“Any progress on the profile?” Gil asked leaning back in his high-backed leather chair, crossing his arms.

“No, but why didn’t you tell me Dani had a child?” Malcolm sat down in the stiff leather chair across from Gil’s desk, completely cutting to the chase. The profile, he’d get to it eventually, but he had to know why probably everyone knew this about his partner but he didn’t.

“It’s not my story to tell,” Gil said dryly, resigned to the fact that he had no intention of talking about work. “Besides, you could’ve asked her yourself.”

Malcolm pursed his lips, wondering if that was going to be the answer he’d get to everything. “So I’m just supposed to ask _hey, do you have kids?_ ” 

“Well, yeah, I suppose that’s a valid question to ask these days if you’re interested in someone.”

“I never said I was–" Malcolm said quickly, rushing to cover himself before Gil cut off his protests with a sharp look. He sighed, realizing that trying to hide his feelings for his partner was what got him here in the first place. “Okay, I am interested but…everything I do turns out to be the wrong thing. I don’t know where to start.”

“I’d say dating someone else in front of the person you have feelings for is the _wrong thing_ ,” Gil replied with a chuckle and chuckling even more when his boss saw the mortified expression that was most certainly on his face as he felt his cheeks heat. “Kid, I’ve been doing this a long time. You think I can’t tell? I mean, why’d you think I made her take you home so many times?”

“Because I needed a babysitter.” Malcolm ashamedly looked down at his hands, no longer able to meet Gil’s eyes.

Gil leaned forward on his tweed coat covered elbows. “No, Bright. It’s because I thought the two of you could look after each other. Powell’s been through a lot but so have you. She’s one of the good ones and I hoped you’d notice.”

“I did and that’s the problem,” Malcolm mumbled. Dani was so good. _Too good for him._

“It doesn’t have to be though. You can tell her you made a mistake. You can be honest. I mean, she did tell you that you needed to stop lying and now something tells me that she was talking about more than just the case,” Gil said knowingly. 

Malcolm didn’t think Gil had noticed their issues with each other on full display that time in the conference room but then again, Gil noticed everything.

“What’s the point though, Gil? She’ll never trust me again. Not like that–not now.” Malcolm admitted as once again, not trying felt so much easier. 

“You’ll never know for sure if you don’t try and it’s Dani, maybe she’ll surprise you.” 

Malcolm nodded, trying to absorb his boss’s words. But there was something else on his mind. “Uh…about Dani’s daughter…is she, um, co-parenting or anything? Like is he…around?” He had to ask and he didn’t want to sound like he was fishing for information despite that being exactly what he was doing. 

Honestly, what he didn’t want to admit to was the idea of another man being beside Dani–someone who had a connection to her that he didn’t. Malcolm felt that uncomfortable pins and needles feeling intensify. He could feel his agitation rise–an unstable current that threatened to overtake him–at the idea of someone knowing her in a way that he didn’t but badly wanted to. 

Malcolm had no right to feel that way but he did.

He doesn’t miss Gil’s expression tightening. His boss’s usually kind dark eyes hardening. “He never will be, if I have anything to do with it.”

Whomever Nomi’s father was, he obviously wasn’t in Dani’s life, but that knowledge didn’t make him feel better only worse at the knowledge that there was more to a likely painful story that Malcolm knew had to come from Dani–if she ever chose to share it with him.

–––––––––––––––

Malcolm watched Dani scoot off the conference room table from the front of the room where he’d just been at the board delivering his profile. He finally felt like he had something they could use before their killer struck again.

As the team cleared out of the conference room, Malcolm caught Dani’s arm before the moment was lost. He’d allowed so many of their moments to get away because he’d been too afraid to make more out of them. He was still afraid but he finally realized that nothing would be given if he didn’t start giving himself. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me? You know, that you have a child?”

“I didn’t think you’d be interested,” Dani replied as she casually put her hands in the back pocket of her high waisted black jeans, rocking on her heels a bit. She now looked a bit unsure and he could see in her eyes that she honestly believed that to be true.

“Dani, it’s you,” he said softly, feeling his heart clench painfully in his chest. “Why wouldn’t I be interested?”

Dani looked down at her combat booted feet, a small smile curving her lips that didn’t look amused in the slightest. “…Because it’s me.”

Malcolm flinched as though he’d been struck. He’d hurt her– _again_. 

He knew she’d been angry at him for lying, but he didn’t think Dani believed he didn’t care about her. When he apologized to her that time for hurting her feelings, he thought she knew that he cared but it didn’t matter because he’d blown it. 

He’d worked up all the nerve he had to make things right with her. _Only you would find it therapeutic talking to a killer_ , she’d said it lightheartedly, obviously amused. Her little smile had made a _morgue_ brighter but hearing those words, Malcolm had felt like a complete joke.

Of course, _she_ found him damaged beyond repair and that was all he could think about especially when his ex dropped in after months of radio silence. 

He might’ve been too damaged for Dani but he wasn’t too damaged for someone who’d obviously liked him enough to come back to him–or so he thought. Now, Malcolm was alone and Dani thought she meant nothing to him because of it. Once again, he couldn’t imagine how much that _hurt_ as hurting Dani had always hurt him more.

Dani shrugged a shoulder as she looked up to meet his eyes, the hurt in them evident. “Maybe it's better this way.” She turned to leave and he quickly reached for her arm, stopping her once more.

“It’s not,” Malcolm said quietly, allowing his hand to trail down her arm over the soft material of her thin navy v-neck sweater. He unconsciously squeezed her wrist gently just as he had that night in the hospital. 

It was now or never and he’d been here before but he couldn’t make the same mistake. Dani wouldn’t just give him another chance, he had to prove why he deserved one. He had to be honest.

“It wasn’t you, Dani, I swear. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I didn’t know you could feel that way about me. I didn’t wanna guess wrong and be left alone.” That was exactly what he’d done and that was exactly what happened.

“Like _you_ left _me_ alone?” Dani tilted her head, sounding unconvinced as her voluminous curls bounced with the movement. 

“Yeah,” Malcolm swallowed thickly as his actions were weak and they were immature but he was ready to face them and he wanted to show her that. “But I wanna try again, I wanna start over. Please?”

“I don’t know, Bright. I mean, you know it’s not just me. Why would you want to?” Dani asked, genuinely confused as to why he was so adamant. Why he was suddenly fighting for her now? The fact that she had a child didn’t change the way he felt about her–it only made him want to try harder as he knew he’d have to if he wanted to be apart of her life. He _wanted_ that. 

He’d been looking for light all his life but he first had to stop choosing darkness. The light was right in front of him and it had been the entire time.

“Dani, I wanna be in your life,” Bright said plainly, that boyish earnestness overtaking his features in a way she hadn’t seen in awhile.

Dani’s brows raised skyward at Bright’s admission. He was telling her so much but could she believe it? Could she trust him with this part of her life? He didn’t get the benefit of the doubt anymore and it just felt like asking for their already complicated situation to get worse. Bright had already hurt her, but Dani couldn’t let Nomi get caught in the crosshairs as her daughter was the one person she’d _always_ protect even if Dani couldn’t protect herself.

“We can take things slow.” Malcolm said quickly, doing all he could to not let this moment slip through his fingers.

“If we do, what’s gonna stop you from switching up again?” Dani asked, skepticism that he’d earned written all over her pretty face. To her, he knew he looked horribly selfish but he wanted her to see that really wasn’t him. He wasn’t malicious and he didn’t look to hurt her just because he could.

“Because I’m not that person. _I’m not._ Please, let me prove to you that I can be the man, you thought I was.” Malcolm was practically begging but he didn’t care. His pride had long left him. He wanted his partner back, he wanted his friend back and he wanted a chance at more. He wanted to be the first person she saw in the morning and the last person she saw at night. He didn't deserve that by a long shot but he wanted the chance to get there.

Dani studied Bright closely and this was as sincere as she’d ever seen him. She couldn’t help but remember the utter and complete sweetness she’d seen on his face as he introduced himself to her daughter. 

She’d believed in him once and somehow, she believed in him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does mention domestic abuse so if that is in any way upsetting please proceed with caution.

Dani stared at the paperwork at her desk. They were still looking for their crusade killer–someone with an obvious God complex who wanted everyone to know he could strike when he wanted–or at least that was the profile Bright had given them. 

She wanted to focus entirely on this case but her mind kept going back to Endicott. She could’t accept that the man had vanished into thin air but it seems he had. All of his passports had been suspended, his bank accounts–even the Swiss offshore ones–had been frozen, Interpol had placed him on their watch list incase he tried to flee the country but… _nothing_. It was like the man didn’t exist anymore.

“You heading out?” Bright asked, leaning against the doorway of the conference room.

“Not yet, I’m waiting for my babysitter to drop Nomi off. Usually, she takes her to my mom’s when I work late but plans have changed,” Dani sighed as the mom life had taught her to _always_ expect the unexpected. 

She figured that was why she was so good at this job–nothing fazed her and maybe that was why she was so good at dealing with all things Bright as not even _his_ things fazed her.

Bright nodded from the doorway–it looked like he had something more to say but he just smiled a bit, opting to say nothing as his eyes traveled to the squad room entrance. 

Dani followed his gaze to see Nomi walking in, practically skipping as her little one spotted her, dressed like well, herself in a little black hoodie and high waisted jeans. “ _Mama!_ ”

Malcolm watched as Dani squatted down as the little girl barreled into her arms, her curly ponytail bouncing in rhythm.

“Mimi girl!” Dani cooed, wrapping the toddler up in her completely, squeezing her tightly. It was interesting seeing his partner like _this_. He’d always known Dani to be serious and reserved, only occasionally did he see her beautiful dimpled smile but he’d never quite seen anything like the way she was now. 

It was more than just happiness illuminating his partner’s beautiful face–it was _love_. As he watched her squish the little girl’s apple cheeks–smothering her with kisses–he realized that this was _Dani_. 

Dani was tough and strong but she was a nurturer too–that was evident. 

“ _My baby_ , did you have a good day?” Dani asked, brushing her hands over the little girl’s curls, cupping her face. Nomi nods before burying her face in Dani’s chest once again, hugging her tightly. The entirely soft smile on Dani’s face as she pressed kisses to her daughter’s hair warmed him and he was only an observer. 

Malcolm had never experienced the type of affection that Nomi obviously did and even though Dani was going it alone, he could tell her daughter had no absence of love but an abundance of it. If possible, his admiration for his partner only grew seeing that.

As often as Malcolm had seen his partner out in the field with her gun and badge strapped to her hip–something he’d always thought as natural–he realized that there nothing was more natural than seeing her with this little girl in her arms.

Truthfully, it didn’t fit the profile he’d have of her but perhaps it should’ve. 

Dani took care of people. She’d always taken care of him. She’d made sure he was okay even before she really even knew him. He ran from her because he’d never known anyone who took care of others because it came naturally to them. He only knew people who took _from_ others. 

Malcolm had just always thought Dani would tire of it–of him–and he couldn’t come to terms with how much that rejection would _ruin_ him. It would confirm everything he’d always thought to be true if the only truly good person he’d ever known found him unworthy. He’d know for certain that he’d always been unworthy and he always would be.

Again, he’d misread all the signs and he shouldn’t have because like everything else, they’d been right in front of his face.

“Mimi, you remember my partner, Bright?” Dani asked, standing up with her daughter in her arms. Nomi nods shyly from her place in the crook of Dani’s neck making him smile as she eyed him curiously before burying her face underneath Dani’s chin. He tilted his head, a strange and heartened feeling overtaking him as he couldn’t help but find this little girl incredibly endearing. 

“We’re heading home, you want a ride?” Dani turned her attention to him as she slung her work bag over her shoulder while somehow not disturbing Nomi in the slightest.

“Um…” Malcolm honestly didn’t know what to say as usually he had no problem with Dani bringing him home as she’d done it so often, but he knew how he’d taken advantage of her time in the past and he didn’t want to continue doing it–especially when he knew she could be spending it on someone far more important. “No, I’ll, uh, call for a car. I’ll let you two get home.”

Dani raised a brow as they’d get to his neighborhood–Tribeca–in Lower Manhattan before they’d get to hers–Morningside Heights near Harlem. “Are you sure? We’re going the same way as usual.”

Malcolm looked at his partner with the child in her arms still burrowed in the safe confines of her mother’s neck. He searched Dani’s face, wanting to believe that he wasn’t burdening her once again but her expression was open. It didn’t appear that she minded him tagging along with them, “…Okay…”

Dani smiled softly as she angled her head toward the exit, “Come on then.”

–––––––––––––––––

Malcolm shrugged out of his steel blue suit coat, draping it over one of the island chairs as he loosened his tie. 

After practically begging Dani for a second chance and her miraculously giving it to him, Malcolm wondered how exactly he’d make good on it but as he watched Dani place Nomi on her feet, he felt like he could start here.

Malcolm watched as the tiny toddler walked close to her mother looking around his living room with wide eyes. Again he felt that strange, heartened feeling as there was something undeniably sweet about the wonder in Nomi’s big, dark eyes as she observed her new surroundings curiously. He’d never really been around children before and he wondered if they were all this cute.

“Um…it’s pretty late…I can call for food…” Malcolm offered, turning to Dani.

She opened her mouth wanting to tell him that wasn’t necessary as she had to get home, give Nomi a bath and settle in herself but something struck her, seeing the hopefulness etched in his overly handsome face. Bright had never indicated that he wanted to spend time with her before. 

Dani usually only stayed long enough to make sure he got in okay and he’d never asked her for more than that. She also knew that Bright didn’t eat so this was pretty much only for her and Nomi’s benefit which was… _sweet_ , she thought.

“I’ve got takeout menus in the drawer behind the island,” Bright ventured a little hesitantly. “I mean, they’re collecting dust but they’re there.”

Dani nodded slowly as she tried to not let that little smile–the one that showed his dimples–affect her. Dimples and sad blue eyes had gotten to her in the past and she vowed not to let that weakness repeat itself.

She glanced down at Nomi who was still looking at Bright’s admittedly strange apartment as if it was the most interesting place she’d ever seen which it was as their apartment with its calming, neutral decor was nothing like the dark and morose place Bright lived in.

As Dani went behind the island, finding the little used menus just as Bright said, she looked up seeing Nomi walking toward Sunshine’s cage. The twittering parakeet catching her baby’s attention. 

She watched with surprise as Bright squatted down next to her daughter but more than that, she was surprised that Nomi didn’t appear afraid of him. Her little one was impossibly shy and Dani knew it was her fault as she kept Nomi sheltered. 

Her daughter knew no one outside of Gil, JT, her mom and grandma–that was the way Dani liked it–how she _needed_ it–but it had its drawbacks too. Nomi had incredible separation anxiety. Dani remembered the first week she brought her to daycare as a one year old and how she had to practically take the mornings off because Nomi couldn’t stand for her to leave. The incredibly sweet caregivers had terrified her. 

Nomi had just met Bright yesterday, it was completely unlike her to be this comfortable around a relative stranger. Dani couldn’t quite hear what Bright was saying but she noticed how softly he spoke to her daughter and she noticed more of that uncharacteristic warmth from him and just as with yesterday, she didn’t know how to feel about it.

––––––––––––––––

“Do you wanna see up close?” Malcolm asked Nomi as she nodded. He lifted her up, a bit shocked as she weighed hardly anything but perhaps that was normal for little kids. Easily shifting the little girl to one arm, he brought her closer to Sunshine who seemed just as interested in the unusual company.

He smiled as Nomi held her little hand out, wiggling her fingers. Her big brown eyes wide and curious. “This is Sunshine.”

“Sun…shine?” Nomi turned to look at him as he caught the coconut oil smell of her curls–not unlike the way Dani’s curls smelled when he caught the scent on the wind when she passed by him. His smile grew at the sound of her rather squeaky voice, entirely charmed by this little person who honestly appeared to be more doll than child.

“Bright, what do you want me to get for you?” Dani asked from the kitchen, the takeout menus spread out in front of her.

“Uh…whatever you get is fine,” Bright shrugs a shoulder, turning toward her. The sight enough to stop her heart for a second. Nomi in Bright’s arms and neither one of them looking out of place but…content. Dani didn’t know what this meant but she knew she wanted to file it away and keep it with her.

–––––––––––––––––––

“Come on, sweetie, it’s time to get up.” Dani tiptoed into Nomi’s lavender and white room, sitting on the edge of her bed, rubbing her back, gently rousing her baby from sleep.

Nomi whined as she rubbed her face against one of her purple unicorn pillows, her curls in utter disarray even though Dani had dressed most of her pillows in satin pillowcases to help with the friction and to cut down on the time it took her to corral those curls into a style. “Sleepy, Mama.” 

“I know, sweetie, me too,” Dani said fighting off a yawn. She’d hoped some music would help them both get up and get going but the cheerful sound of Wham!’s _Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go_ didn’t exactly have the effect she’d hoped.

She pulled Nomi into her arms, knowing she’d have to carry her into the bathroom to get her ready. She set her baby on her feet, bringing a warm wash cloth to Nomi’s face, shaking her head as her daughter slumped against her, still trying to go back to sleep. 

Dani knew why they were both so slow this morning. They didn’t leave Tribeca until late last night as dinner at Bright’s turned into a movie too. 

She’d been unable to say no as Bright queued up _Howl’s Moving Castle_ from one of the many streaming services he had for his TV that covered the length of a wall that was “just like the movies” as Nomi had informed her. 

Her baby had been enthralled by the colorful animation and Dani had decided that it couldn’t hurt to at least stay until the end. She didn’t miss Bright’s dimpled smile and the excited light in his nearly translucent eyes as she agreed, seemingly pleased to have them stay a little longer. 

Dani knew Bright didn’t have many friends and not many people came over to his place except his mother and the _others_ he invited–through she wouldn’t dwell on that. Perhaps he just wanted some company besides his parakeet–even if it was just her and her three year old.

That said, it was nice hanging out with him. It felt normal. It didn’t feel like the strange guarded way they’d been around each other lately. It felt as close to the way they were before things got complicated in awhile.

Despite how she’d started to develop feelings for her partner, never did Dani believe that he’d actually accept this part of her life. The part she kept the closest to her heart. If he ran when when he thought it was just her–she could only imagine what he thought knowing it wasn’t.

Malcolm Bright wasn’t the type to put down roots. He did what he wanted, whenever he wanted. Dani didn’t think he’d want to trouble himself with someone who was already firmly rooted but he surprised her again just as he had that night at the hospital.

As she helped Nomi brush her teeth as her daughter flat out wasn’t going to do anything herself this morning, Dani remembered how Bright looked at them with obvious fascination as she fed Nomi who mostly ate orange chicken and fried rice from her plate. 

Dani would bet that Bright hadn’t been around children much, but she found it endearing as he looked at them similarly to how Nomi had looked at Sunshine–as if they were the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

––––––––––––––––––

“Hey.” Dani found Bright at his usual spot at the whiteboard setting up for today. He turned at the sound of her voice, a fond smile adorning his handsome features. She shook her head as to remember that this was _Bright_ , she saw him every day and she’d seen him smile before. _Just not at you, not like that_ , her mind unhelpfully supplied for her. She shook her head again as if to physically remove the thought. “Um…thanks for last night. That was, um, really sweet of you.”

Malcolm tilted his head in that way of his that always reminded her of a confused Labrador. “It was…takeout…”

Dani pushed the sleeves of her olive green sweater up to her elbows. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt nervous but last night didn’t happen _ever_. She didn’t just let people get close to her daughter like that. Nomi who was her life and all she lived for. “Yeah…I mean…it’s usually just the two of us.”

Bright smiled softly, glancing down a bit. “I think I get that. Usually it’s just me and Sunshine.” Dani found herself moving closer to her partner without realizing it. She moved close enough to smell his cologne–something warm and spicy. Vanilla and something deeper she couldn’t place. 

He reached out, catching her wrist and slowly moving down as he laced his fingers with hers, squeezing them gently. “I think you made quite the impression on her,” Dani said looking up.

Bright’s face lit up, “ _Really?_ ” 

“Yeah, Nomi’s really shy but she warmed up to you instantly.”

“You know, children are an excellent judge of character,” Bright said matter-of-factly, a teasing glint in his pale eyes.

“I’ve heard that. They say the only honest people in the world are drunks and little kids,” Dani smirked, quirking a brow. Not letting him slide that easily. The jury was still out on _his_ character as far as she was concerned.

“Not where I was going with that…but okay…” Bright made a face as she snorted in response. “Freud says children–"

“You can entertain Dani with Freudian theory later, kid, we just found another body,” Gil poked his head in the conference room. If Gil noticed their joined hands and Dani was certain he did–he opted not to say anything.

–––––––––––––––––

Back here again, Malcolm paced the conference room. His head down. His profile had been wrong and someone died because of it–because of _him_. 

They weren’t looking for a killer who thought he was a king, they were looking for a killer who targeted wealthy and powerful men who thought _they_ were kings. That distinction was staring him in the face the entire time as their first victim an entrepreneur who owned several high class night clubs and strip clubs, their second victim a real estate tycoon and their third–latest–a well known sports agent. 

Three men who may not have done everything by the book but they had families–people who would miss them–and he failed. He’d already failed so many people–23 to be exact. 23 victims and countless family members who had to live with the emptiness their loved ones left behind.

The frustration boiled over as he stared at his mistake, his powerlessness to do anything that resembled usefulness and before he knew it, Malcolm was violently ripping the profile and the CSU photos off the board. 

The destroyed papers harmlessly falling to the floor. Roughly raking his hands through his hair, he turned only to see _Dani_ behind him. 

His partner stood, her pretty face ashen. She barely breathed as she stared at him.

“Dani,” Malcolm started, wanting to fill the horrible silence–only the moment appeared to be suspended in time. 

He moved closer to her only for Dani to flinch back–away from him. Her face still frozen. While he couldn’t take his eyes away from her if he tried, Dani appeared to be looking _through_ him. He didn’t know what happened but he knew he’d just made a terrible mistake.

He watched Dani shake her head, taking a deep breath. “I, uh, forgot, Gil needed me to, uh, go to CSU….new evidence.” She quickly turned away, practically running out of the conference room as though she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

Malcolm sighed, looking up at the ceiling, feeling the frustrated tears clog his throat. He honestly didn’t think it was possible to feel as Godawful as he did in this moment. No matter what he did, he hurt her. He never tried to but he always did.

 _He scared her._

He knew he did. He saw her face. That was _fear_. He did that. He did that to the one person who’d always treated him normally. The one person who never judged him and always understood him. The one person who befriended him knowing what he came with and had never treated him as less than because of it.

Self-loathing–a feeling Malcolm was thoroughly familiar with but never to this magnitude–threatened to swallow him whole. Sometimes his temper got the best of him, sometimes his own futility and powerlessness got the best of him but he’d never do anything to anyone. 

He’d never do that to _her_ but how could she know that? Malcolm hadn’t given Dani reason to and he hated himself for it. 

In begging to allow him to do better for her, he’d just done infinitely worse and as usual he only had himself to blame.

––––––––––––––––––

“I’m sorry…what I did earlier…I didn’t know you were there,” Malcolm said finally able to talk to Dani as Gil had sent them to a lawyer that had represented all three victims at one point or another, hoping to find the key bit of information that would bring them closer to their killer.

“You’ve done it when you knew I was there,” Dani stared straight ahead, her hands flexing on the steering wheel. Malcolm felt ice inch up his spine as he remembered just when he had done that very same thing in front of her.

He remembered sitting down at the conference room table, staring at CSU photos of Eve’s waterlogged, decomposing corpse. He remembered being absolutely beset with grief because he’d solved her murder and he’d gotten his closure but it hadn’t made him feel any better. 

Dani had been there. She’d gently told him that just solving his ex’s murder mattered and she was right but he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to see Dani’s pretty face telling him to do what he knew he’d eventually have to do which was _get over it._

His ex hadn’t been the best. She hadn’t even cared about him all that much but she’d given him attention and physical affection when no one else had and he couldn’t stand hearing what he should do from the person whose attention and physical affection he’d really wanted. 

Malcolm had misread those signs too as Dani hadn’t been doing that at all. She’d just been trying to encourage him–to support him as she always did.

It was little wonder how she’d thought him capable of hurting someone.

“I’m sorry,” Malcolm mumbled, his mind back in the present, wishing he had something better to say–something more meaningful to atone for all of his crimes against her.

Dani took a deep breath but she still made no attempt to look at him and he didn’t blame her at this point. “When I see you do that, I remember what it was like to watch someone lash out in anger and then turn that anger on me. I can’t put myself through that–I _won’t_ put my daughter thought that.”

Malcolm nodded as he tried to swallow down the bile rising in his throat not only at the idea of someone hurting her but at the knowledge that _he’d_ reminded her of what that felt like. 

He turned to her, slowly reaching for her hand as not to startle her. Malcolm made no quick movements and gave Dani ample time to pull away if she wanted. She let him take her hand and he enfolded it in his, lightly brushing a kiss over her knuckles. He hoped the gesture reassured her that he _could_ be gentle–that he was.

“Dani, I would _never_ do that to you. I would _never_ put my hands on you.” Malcolm really wanted her to believe him. While he was a lot of things and he wasn’t sure how many of them good, he wasn’t _that_. “I realize that I can’t just do better. I have to _be_ better and I will.”

He meant that as he now knew what becoming a victim to his own mental state did. That noise in his head was unbearable for him but it made others a victim _to_ him. When he made others his victims, that brought him one step closer to the person he swore he wasn’t–the person he hated most.

Dani turned to face Bright finally. She saw the shattered crystal that were his eyes. She saw his contrition and his sincerity. She believed that he’d never physically harm her but she needed him to _understand_ just how much this cost her. “Nomi’s biological father…he was like that. He’d get angry all of a sudden and then he’d get _aggressive_.”

Malcolm saw the pain in his partner’s dark eyes and he squeezed her hand. 

“It was only until I found out that I was pregnant did I realize that my life wasn’t my own anymore. _I_ had to do better not just for myself but for my baby too. I had to protect us. Gil helped.” Dani continued steadily though he could see how hard this was for her to talk about–to relive and he hated that she had to do it because of him but he was nevertheless grateful that she trusted him enough with something so personal. “Gil got us a court order and my ex isn’t even allowed on the opposite side of the street from us now.”

Malcolm nodded as now he finally understood Gil’s words about Nomi’s father. Truthfully, that was just like their boss. Gil would come through for anyone who needed it and he had obviously come through for both of them in more ways than Malcolm knew.

As he held Dani’s hand, Malcolm felt comforted that she and her daughter were safe from someone who looked to hurt to them. If anyone knew what it was like to feel unsafe with someone who was supposed to take care of you, it was him but he felt even worse about perpetuating those types of behaviors whether he meant to or not.

No one had ever really told him that sort of thing wasn’t okay. No one had ever told him that displays of rage–of anger–weren’t okay. No one but Dani. She also made him realize that lashing out with words wasn’t okay either. 

All of those were lessons he wouldn’t forget.

–––––––––––––––––––

“How can I make it up to you?” Malcolm asked after they pulled up to the posh law firm in Midtown. They rode in silence the entire way but he wanted to do something. He didn’t want to be left with the thought that he’d reminded her of someone who caused her pain.

“Just don’t do it again,” Dani turned off the ignition, looking to resume their case as they did in fact have a job to do. 

Malcolm felt that terrible pins and needles feeling overtake him as he really didn’t want to ruin what he had with Dani before it had even started but more than anything, he wanted her to feel safe with him. He wanted her daughter to feel safe with him.

He remembered how nice it was spending time with the both of them in his apartment last night. He remembered the warm contentment in Dani’s smile as she sat with her little girl in her lap, her hands on both sides of Nomi’s head as she lightly brushed her dark curls back, while they watched _Howl’s Moving Castle_ together. He didn’t want last night to be the last time Dani and her daughter spent with him.

“Please let me do something. I don’t wanna leave things like this,” Malcolm could feel his anxiety building as Dani had never been as easy as most for him to read. He could never guess what was behind her dark eyes and as she stepped out her SUV, he didn’t know if he’d just used up all of his chances with her.

Dani looked up, seeing him not unlike she did that night in the conference room where Bright had insisted that she believe him. He’d practically come out of his skin wanting her to understand something that seemed almost impossible until he’d shown her an honest face minutes later. Dani felt like she was now seeing another honest face.

“Okay…um…tonight, we can come over. Maybe watch another movie?” Dani allowed, seeing Bright exhale heavily, clearly relieved. His smile all dimples.

“Yeah, I can do that– _we_ can do that,” Bright nodded happily, reminding her of a little kid himself.

––––––––––––––

Opening the door to Bright’s apartment, Dani, couldn’t help but feel at least a little nervous. This wasn’t a _date_ but it felt important somehow. She didn’t know what she and Bright were at the moment but he at least appeared serious about doing better. 

She told him how she felt about his outbursts–how they made her feel, what they reminded her of–and Bright _listened_. He validated her feelings and he didn’t make excuses. He also apologized and that felt like progress, however, incremental.

Malcolm looked up as he saw Dani letting herself into his apartment. She’d brought him home so many times that she knew where he kept his spare key. He smiled as she set Nomi on her feet. He watched as the little girl slowly made her way over to him, dressed once more in an adorably Dani-like outfit of black jeans and a little gray cable-knit sweater.

Coming from around the island, he squatted down to greet her. Nomi surprisingly wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. Malcolm didn’t get many hugs but he could honestly say that this one made his heart happy. He couldn’t explain it exactly but it did. He smiled as he gently wrapped the toddler up in return.

 _She's so little_. Malcolm wondered just what it must be like being responsible for someone so small–so innocent. He knew firsthand about the horrors of the world as he’d lived though most of them, he wondered how Dani could sleep at night knowing she couldn’t be with her little one at all hours of the day, watching over her– _protecting_ her.

Dani had always been much better than he was and there was a reason she was a parent and he wasn’t, but Malcolm knew he wouldn’t be able to do it. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to close his eyes knowing there were people out there who could hurt this precious little person if he had been the one charged with taking care of her.

“See, I told you,” Dani said warmly as she shrugged out of her coat. “She likes you.” 

Malcolm smiled as Nomi looked up at him with those big dark eyes just like her mom’s, ducking her head shyly. He gently mused her dark curls before standing up to greet his partner.

His eyes widened a bit as he realized that Dani had changed out of her work clothes. 

She wore a tight black sweater and light wash 90’s style “Mom jeans” as he believed they were called and thick soled Dr. Martens. Her curls were piled on top of her head with oversized hoop earrings that nearly reached her shoulders. Dani looked like every girl he never had the courage to chat up in college–meaning she looked incredibly cute.

Dani glanced up, noticing him staring at her. Her cheeks flushed pink as did his, considering he didn’t mean to be so obvious about it as she lifted Nomi into her arms.

Following Bright into the kitchen trying to shake off the way she’d reacted once more at seeing her partner with her daughter. Dani wasn’t sure if she liked the warmth that spread through her chest at watching Bright practically melt right before her eyes as he gazed at her baby. 

Dani wanted to feel him out and see who Bright _really_ was, she didn’t want so many of these little reminders of who she _thought_ he was that had led her astray in the first place. She didn’t want those little reminders of all the things that made her want to go there even after he told him that night in his apartment that she could.

“Um…you bought a lot of food…” she took in his island entirely covered with Chinese takeout. 

“Uh…yeah…” Bright replied, sheepishly brushing hair that had fallen in his eyes, behind his ear. She noticed that he’d changed out of the charcoal windowpane suit he’d worn to work and into a hunter green sweater and slim dark jeans, he looked _softer_ than he normally did. “I remembered what you ordered last night but I didn’t know if you’d want the same thing or maybe something different so I kinda–"

“Ordered everything,” Dani supplied for him, amusedly.

“Yeah,” Bright admitted with a laugh, the blush in his cheeks intensifying.

“Well, we appreciate it, hmm?” Dani looked down at Nomi who nodded enthusiastically as her baby might be little but she _ate_.

Malcolm felt his smile widen as he took in the two of them. It was small but he liked that he’d done something for the both of them. “It’s my pleasure,” he said as he handed Dani two plates.

He watched in amazement as Dani opened cartons and went about fixing two plates all with one hand as Nomi had the other one occupied as her daughter happily pointed out all of the things she wanted her Mama to fix for her.

“How do you do that?” Malcolm asked, watching them completely fascinated. He wasn’t particularly interested in food as he was just grateful Dani had given him another chance to spend time with her and Nomi, especially after his outburst at work.

“Do what?” Dani looked up, quirking a brow curiously as Nomi cutely did the same–a mirror image of her mom.

“ _That._ The whole one hand thing like I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely keep it together with two hands.” 

Dani laughed–that sound also making his heart happy–as she followed him to the living room, taking a seat on the couch not jostling Nomi or the plate in her hand. “It’s a Mama thing I guess.”

“I’m still getting used to that. You know, you being a mom,” Malcolm replied, queuing up _My Neighbor Totoro_ as he remembered how much Nomi seemed to enjoy _Howl’s Moving Castle_.

“Is it weird for you?” 

Malcolm turned to answer her question just at the movie began. Watching Dani break off pieces of spring rolls and feeding them to her daughter with her fingers–a gesture that was both tender and seemingly normal–he knew the answer to that.

“No, not at all.”

–––––––––––––––––

“She’s totally gonna want one of those things now,” Dani said, wondering just where she’d be able to find a Totoro plush. “Also what is a Totoro?”

“He’s a cat, Mama,” Nomi chimed in helpfully albeit rather sleepily as she had been drifting off in Dani’s lap.

“Is he? Is he a cat?” Dani squeezed Nomi’s cheeks playfully, making her laugh. A hiccupy, sugary sweet sound.

“Bright, is Totoro a cat?” Nomi looked up at him not unlike the way Dani did at work when she had questions only he could answer.

“Well...” Bright scooted down from the arm of the couch, facing them crosslegged. Dani smiled as she rested her chin on top of Nomi’s soft curls, noticing the excited light go into her partner’s eyes as she knew nerd facts were not too far behind. “Totoro is a cat because of his ears but he’s also an owl and a _Tanuki_ which is the Japanese version of a raccoon.”

“How can he be all three?” Nomi asked curiously.

“Because he’s a forest spirit,” Bright said as if he were discussing the ins and outs of murder at work not fictional creatures with a toddler, his usual enthusiasm completely intact.

“Honestly, I think these Ghibli movies are more for you than anything else.” Dani smirked.

Bright shrugged with a crooked smile. “I happen to enjoy masterful animation.”

Before Dani could respond to more evidence of Bright's utter nerdiness, Nomi yawned as she leaned back against her. Yet another night they’d get back to Morningside Heights past bedtime. “I think it’s time we head home.”

Malcolm nodded as he tried to force back the disappointment flooding though him at the idea of Dani and Nomi leaving as he really did like spending time with them. He wasn’t looking forward to being alone, trying to ignore how cold his apartment was especially after the warmth that existed in it now.

“Can we come back, Bright?” Nomi asked sweetly as Dani helped her into her little blue peacoat.

“Of course, you’re always welcome here.” Malcolm smiled as Nomi scrambled off Dani’s lap to give him a hug. He looked down at her, feeling entirely soft at seeing the toddler’s eyes turn to those little crescents just as Dani’s did when she smiled as they met her little apple cheeks.

Dani looked on as her heart did that _thing_ it kept doing each time she saw her partner with her daughter. She wanted to shake off the feeling of seeing that unfamiliar tenderness on his face as he enfolded her baby into his chest but she didn’t know if she could. Worse was that she didn’t know if she wanted to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _What do you mean?_   
>  _I'm sorry by the way_   
>  _Never going back now_   
>  _Be so sweet if things just stayed the same_
> 
> _Lights Up // Harry Styles_

Gathering his things into his work bag, Malcolm realized that he didn’t have that heaviness he usually did after Gil told him to head home as they had no new leads on their current case. More times than not, he’d practically beg his boss to let him stay. 

Maybe he could think through the case, maybe he could find something they’d previously missed? If not, he could go through cold cases and give his recommendations. Gil never approved but he always allowed it as his boss knew he needed something to occupy his mind. 

The quiet was always dangerous–menacing even and Malcolm needed something to fill it and murder always did–until _now_.

Two weeks ago, he’d worked up the courage to ask Dani for another chance and despite the hesitation he knew she still had, his partner had given him one. It has been two weeks of a new little normal that he’d never expected but it was one that he could honestly say made him _happy_.

After his sister had told everyone in the Tri-State area on camera that their father was the reason he was too damaged to have a normal relationship, Malcolm had done everything to prove–mostly to himself–that wasn’t true. 

He had to prove that he wasn't that person Ainsley had made him out to be. He _had_ to prove that he wasn’t deficient–that he was _normal_. Malcolm didn’t even really think about what he was doing, he just knew he had to fill that void–by any means necessary. He couldn’t stand the reminder that he had no one because no one wanted him. He was too much and not enough all at once.

Malcolm had always thought he had an idea of what normal was–what it looked like–he just didn’t think it would look like nights with takeout and Pixar movies. But for him, it was and those nights were undoubtably what he looked forward to.

It was strange as even in his desperate search for normal, he’d never actually been content or calm. As much as he tried to ignore it, there had still been an emptiness–the feeling that what he wanted, he didn’t have. As painful as it was, he’d couldn’t have been more right.

Sadly enough, Malcolm had been willing to accept barely having anything if only to have _something_. 

Now, after being left with nothing, Malcolm felt as close to _everything_ as he’d ever been and _that_ made him happy.

 _“We’re at the park if you wanna join…”_ The text from Dani read out and Malcolm smiled as this little piece of normal _definitely_ felt like everything.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm suddenly felt the strangest sense of deja vu. He’d been to this park before. Many months ago, they’d worked a BDSM case and following one of their persons of interests had led him here. 

He also remembered this being the beginning of that desperate search for normal. 

Truthfully, he’d asked the wrong woman on a date but the idea of asking his beautiful co-worker, someone he found fierce and formidable had been completely out of the question. 

Dani had never shown any outward interest in him and Malcolm had thought she probably wouldn’t even talk to him outside of their cases if Gil hadn’t made her keep an eye on him. He didn’t know what Dani’s type was but he was certain it wasn’t the awkward, sad boy who couldn’t even sleep at night–deathly terrified of his own mind.

Malcolm had been wrong– _again_ –and he wondered how much happier he’d be if he had asked Dani out on a date. Dani never would’ve stopped trusting him and he would’ve gotten to know her better. She would’ve felt comfortable telling him about Nomi because she would’ve known that he’d want to be apart of her daughter’s life too.

His phone buzzed, dragging him out of his regretful contemplation. It was Gil, telling him he’d left files at work in his haste to join Dani and Nomi. 

“Which one’s yours?” Malcolm looked up from his phone a bit startled at the sound of grandmotherly woman’s voice coming from beside him.

That deja vu feeling intensified as he’d been asked that very question the last time he was here. He remembered saying something about his tricky childhood, being wildly dependent on Benzodiazepines and just not being dad material.

Malcolm didn't quite know how to answer that question once again as his childhood was still tricky. It was even more so as he‘d since found out that his father had intended to kill him on that camping trip. He was definitely still Benzo dependent, but as his eyes landed on a familiar little person happily running through the grass in her socks with Dani giving chase behind her–Nomi’s little checkerboard Vans in her hand–Malcolm was maybe not so sure about that last one.

He vaguely gestured toward Dani whose long legs had finally caught up with her excited toddler, scooping Nomi up while playfully scolding her and calling the three year old “a little rascal.”

He had no right to even _sort of_ claim Nomi as his own but it was just easier than explaining his and Dani’s insanely complicated situation that would probably sound asinine to his own ears if spoken aloud.

“Oh, she’s adorable,” the older woman gushed as she followed his gaze toward Dani easily slipping a giggling Nomi’s shoes back on, miraculously with one hand. “Your wife is lovely as well.”

Malcolm felt his cheeks burn at the woman’s mistake. He was happy to be able to spend time with Dani and Nomi but _that?_ He could barely even allow himself to imagine such a possibility.

“She's my partner,” he corrected gently as he ducked his head a bit, hoping to not appear as flustered as he was at the thought that Dani could even _be_ his wife. 

“Ahh…that’s a young people thing, I get it,” the woman smiled knowingly and somehow that made Malcolm blush harder. His father had actually said something similar when he’d brought Dani with him for their _Monte Cristo_ case. Malcolm knew Martin was mocking him but the effect was much different coming from this kindly grandmother.

Just as Malcolm was about to respond, Dani looked up and waved him over though not before the woman told him he had a beautiful family. 

He didn’t know what to say to that either as the dull ache in his heart told him just how much he’d really like them to be.

––––––––––––––––––

“Are you and your Mama having fun without me?” Malcolm asked as he squatted down, wrapping Nomi into a hug after she came running to greet him–once more without her shoes.

“Yes!” Nomi answered cheerfully before collapsing into her hiccupy giggles, her deep dimples on display. Malcolm scrunched his nose at her unable not to laugh himself at her enthusiasm as he kissed her forehead softly, lifting her into his arms. “Does Mama get kiss too?”

He looked up seeing Dani coming toward him in her high waisted black jeans and a soft looking heather gray sweater, half tucked in. Her cheeks a bit pink as she’d obviously heard her daughter’s earnest question. 

“But, of course,” Malcolm replied as Nomi rested her head on his shoulder. He leaned in and kissed his partner’s forehead just as softly, his lips lingering against Dani’s skin for two full heartbeats before he pulled away, only enough to see something he hadn’t seen in her eyes since he’d brought her tea right after one of their first cases together. 

Something that had reminded him of all of the lights in the New York City skyline. Something that had made his heart beat in double time then _and_ now–only this time Malcolm wasn’t afraid as he allowed his thumb to softly trace the high arc of her cheekbone.

–––––––––––––––

Ainsley knew she only had about an hour and half until she was supposed to be at work but sometimes she liked to stop in the park just to clear her head, something that needed quite a bit of clearing these days. She couldn’t help but wonder when the sky was about to fall, considering the things she’d done.

Trying not to think about the worst night of her life, Ainsley stopped dead in her Louboutins as she recognized a man who looked an awful lot like her brother. A man who actually _was_ her brother. She’d recognize Malcolm’s big head anywhere, but also who else would be in a Zegna three piece at a _park?_

Though it wasn’t the fact that Malcolm was _here_ that was tripping her up even as the outdoors–for reasons she could certainly understand–had never been his thing. It was the fact that her brother was here, tenderly kissing a woman on the forehead with a _baby_ in his arms. Not a baby exactly but a small toddler.

Ainsley found herself walking closer without even realizing it, only to find that the tall, curly haired brunette he'd kissed was Detective Powell–his best friend. 

All the questions she had just multiplied, especially as she took in the child who was resting against her brother’s shoulder as if it were something she’d done a million times. 

The incredibly cute little girl was Detective Powell’s _twin_ –that was obvious–but Ainsley could not help but notice how her dark hair was more ringlet-like than the Detective’s voluminous spirals and her golden olive complexion was a bit more on the fair side– _fair like her brother’s_.

Despite Malcolm’s everything, Ainsley could admit her brother did look like a silent film star from the black and white era thanks to their mom’s genetics that had been practically copied and pasted onto his face. Malcolm was awkward as hell but he’d never lacked female attention.

Ainsley had seen grown women practically forget their names when her brother spoke to them and knowing her brother the way she did, the possibility of there being a previously unclaimed Whitly running around Manhattan was probably not outside of the realm of possibility. 

Ainsley didn’t know much about Detective Powell other than the little Malcolm had shared with her about how she’d looked after him or how she'd helped him in the past, but she also knew the Detective was close with Gil so she and her brother might’ve known each other before Malcolm had officially moved back to New York. 

Malcolm didn’t share that part of his life with her–that is until he happened to find himself in an _entanglement_ with the shadiest bitch in the city. 

Again, when it came to her brother, _nothing_ was off limits and _nothing_ was impossible.

––––––––––––––––––

“So this is why we haven’t seen your smiling face at family dinner for the past two weeks?”

Malcolm turned at the sound of Ainsley’s voice coming from behind him. He forced himself to remain calm as his sister just like his mother could smell fear from a mile away.

“Ains, you remember Dani and this is Nomi,” Malcolm said smoothly as Dani nodded politely. He watched as Ainsley’s highbrowed look morphed into something softer as she wiggled her fingers, waving at Nomi who just buried her face in his chest in response.

Dani looked between the two Whitlys knowing that whatever they appeared to be silently communicating to each other, she didn’t need to be apart of. 

“I have some wet wipes in my car, I’m gonna get go this one cleaned up,” She took Nomi out her partner’s arms who’d reacted to the blonde the way her baby reacted to every new person she’d ever met outside of Bright. “It was nice seeing you again, Ainsley.”

“And you as well,” Ainsley smiled in return, nodding before turning her attention back to her brother with laser focus, watching him watch what just might be his family making a quick exit out of the park.

“Don’t tell mom,” Malcolm predictably saying the one thing Ainsley _knew_ he would and had been since they were kids. Her eyes narrowed as she couldn’t wait to hear the story behind this one. 

“I swear to God, Malcolm, if you’ve been hiding a secret baby, I wanna be there when you break that to mom. Also when mom gets through with you, you might not be able to have anymore kids.”

Malcolm rolled his eyes as this conversation had taken a turn for the absurd. “Nomi is _Dani’s_ daughter. I’m not the father.”

“Are you sure?” Ainsley asked with raised brows as Malcolm sighed, growing annoyed. He was _quite_ positive as he would’ve died just for the opportunity–not that he’d say that out loud. “Come on, that kid–though an absolute peach–does kinda look like you. If you are a baby father, you can at least tell _me_.” 

“I am not a _baby father_ ,” her brother replied snarkily, his brows furrowed making him look 12 instead of 29.

“ _Sure_ ,” Ainsley still appearing unconvinced as she belted her short black Burberry trench. His sister’s hawk eyed stare making him more nervous than he cared to admit.

If Ainsley wasn’t feeling particularly merciful today, Malcolm knew his life would get incredibly complicated incredibly quickly though not for the reasons Ainsley obviously suspected.

“When would I have had the time to father a three year old, Ains?” Malcolm crossed his arms, wondering how long this ridiculous conversation would last until he could get her to promise–in writing if he needed to–that she wouldn’t go running to their mother about this. 

Their mother was the last person who needed to get involved in his second chance with Dani as her involvement in his personal life had gotten him into the mess he was still trying to find his way out of.

Ainsley scoffed, “When have you had the time to do any of the insane things you’ve done in the last year alone?” 

Honestly, whether the kid was Malcolm’s or not, Ainsley just couldn’t wait to see their mom’s head explode when she found out.

“Look, Dani has a daughter and I only found out about her a little over two weeks ago. As for us…we’re taking it slow.”

 _“Slow? You?”_ Ainsley was shocked as she didn't believe that word existed in her brother's extensive vocabulary. She mentally gave Dani a little golf clap as anyone who could get her brother to change his wicked ways was _different._

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Malcolm asked, clearly indignant though he honestly had no right to be. 

Ainsley laughed as Malcolm scowled, “You know those lab rats that get electroshocked ten out of ten times because there’s cheese waiting on the other side? _You_ are the lab rat.”

Malcolm narrowed his eyes which only seemed to amuse his little sister further. From talking to Gil a few weeks ago, he learned he was self-centered and now his sister was telling him that he did nothing that didn’t immediately serve himself. “Well, since I apparently behave like a hungry rodent, do I at least have _some_ redeeming qualities?”

Ainsley looked at her brother’s pissy expression, identical to the one their mother often wore. “I can see in your face that you don’t want an honest answer to that and you’d technically be considered _thirsty_ but finish the story. So you and Dani are taking it slow…”

Malcolm slowly counted to five internally, trying very hard to remember that he couldn’t leave his sister where she stood. He exhaled slowly, feigning a patience he didn’t particularly have at the moment. “Actually, slow is an understatement. I’m kinda on probation with her. The whole Eve thing, that was a mistake.” 

“Well, _I_ could’ve told you that. I mean, she was a weirdo with lowkey stalker tendencies. Honestly, Mal, I didn’t wanna say anything but even _you_ could do better.”

 _I have to make sure she doesn’t rat me out to mom_ , Malcolm chanted to himself, repeating that same thought over and over again just as he would one of his daily affirmations.

“Speaking of which, I was always kinda surprised you never asked out Detective Powell. I mean, she looks like a model and solves murders…that’s your dream girl. Apparently enough to procreate with…” Ainsley playfully elbowed him in the ribs.

“Are you done?” Malcolm deadpanned as he was growing impatient, considering he still hadn’t secured his sister’s vow of silence and Ainsley appeared to be in no rush to give him one. Choosing instead to continuously make jokes at his expense.

Ainsley raised her hands in surrender, smirking. “I kid…but seriously, you know mom’s gonna lose her mind when she finds out about this.”

_Finally._

Malcolm turned to face her, his hands clasped in the prayer position. “That’s why I need you to buy me some time. I wanna wait–"

“Until you’re off probation?” Ainsley's smirk grew as she was seriously wondering how long _that_ would take. If any guy had ever pulled half the crap on her that her brother had on his best friend, his ass would’ve been out on the curb _permanently._

 _“Yes!_ I don’t wanna ruin this. I’m already on thin ice as it is,” Malcolm said, practically pleading with her, needing his sister to understand how important this was to him.

Ainsley just stared at him unmoved–well, perhaps a little moved–if she were being honest. “I don’t blame her. Dani pushed out your baby and how do you repay her? By dating a creepy box sleeper. If I were her, I’d _never_ talk to you again.” 

Malcolm knew his sister was just trying to needle him and her annoying jokes aside, he felt those familiar tendrils of guilt snaking around his heart. The guilt that ate at him every time he thought about the wounded look in Dani’s dark eyes when she told him how she thought he wouldn’t be interested in her enough to warrant telling him about Nomi. The guilt that reminded him that he was getting a second chance that he’d done _nothing_ to deserve. 

“Have you gotten it out of your system yet?” Malcolm asked irritably as Ainsley’s devious smile widened, knowing she’d successfully gotten under his skin. “Also it’s unkind to speak ill of the dead.”

Ainsley ignored her brother’s peevishness as she companionably looped her arm through his as they walked out of the park and toward the street. “Don’t get mad at me because you let mom lead you into box girl’s evil trap–I mean, _snatch_.” 

Malcolm rolled his eyes for what was probably the hundredth time since this conversation started as Ainsley chortled at her own crass joke. His sister under the impression that she was much funnier than she actually was.

“I’ll let you get back to the fam bam but really, you can’t hide this from mom forever.”

“I don’t need forever, just a couple more weeks maybe…” 

Usually this would be the time where Ainsley would milk this for all it was worth as her brother so obviously needed her silence as well as her cooperation and as much as she enjoyed rattling his cage, Malcolm _did_ look as happy as she could remember seeing him with Dani and her daughter. He honestly deserved someone who actually cared for him and it looked like he’d gotten two someones.

“I’ll do what I can but you know this is gonna backfire spectacularly, right? Mom hates surprises and _this_ –" 

“Ains, it’ll be fine,” Malcolm said quickly, squeezing her elbow before they headed in opposite directions. There was not a single time her brother had spoken those four words and he’d been right.


	4. Chapter 4

“And just where is your brother?” Jessica asked as she poked around her scallops with chimichurri, just the two of them at the dinner table just as Ainsley expected. As Malcolm was still hellbent on hiding a very key part of his life from their mother. “I haven’t seen him in three weeks. What could he _possibly_ be doing like this?”

“Oh, you know Malcolm, busy keeping Gotham safe,” Ainsley said breezily, sipping her sparkling water as Malcolm could possibly be doing a lot of things at the moment–all of which included the actual family he appeared to have started.

“Be that as it may,” their mom continued, the _Batman_ reference completely going over her head. “he knows we have dinner every week. It’s also been taking him days to return my calls. He's being distant.” 

Ainsley knew she had to choose her words _very_ carefully and she knew Malcolm would not be able to get another week of being a no-show at family dinner. There was no way he could continue ghosting their mom until he got off his incredibly deserved–in her opinion–probation with Dani.

Ainsley wondered if she should send him some suggestions on how to speed the process along a little? 

But the more she thought about it coming up with _Sorry I played you for a box sleeping freak_ gifts were completely above even _her_ pay grade. Malcolm could buy Dani a G-Wagon and Ainsley wouldn’t have blamed her brother’s best friend–turned girlfriend one bit if she would try to run him over with it. 

“That’s not super weird for him though like Malcolm usually takes a week to text me back,” Ainsley said, trying to cover for him. 

While she usually loved a front row seat to her brother’s chaos, it was nice to see him legitimately happy. Ainsley didn’t know a ton about Dani but she knew if the statuesque brunette made _Malcolm_ want to settle down, she was a total winner. 

Malcolm changed for _no one_ and despite how he liked to cosplay as the sensitive, evolved type–he was _the lab rat_. Instant self-gratification was the name of his game and it always had been but Dani seemed to be making him rethink his rodent ways and Ainsley could only support that. Besides, the fact that Dani had a daughter too meant that her brother would give his all to them and Ainsley could only support that as well.

“It’s peculiar…” Their mother’s red painted lips flattened into a tight line. She didn’t appear convinced and Ainsley knew right then that things would absolutely _not_ be fine.

––––––––––––––––

Jessica looked around her son’s darkened apartment. Well, Malcolm’s home was always darkened but the fact that the lights were off, meant that he obviously wasn’t home. 

It was strange was she pretty much always knew where Malcolm was. If he wasn’t at home, he was at the police station indulging his morbid sensibilities. 

She smelled his cologne in the air, so it was clear that she likely just missed him though she wasn’t entirely sure as he’d been wearing Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille for the longest and it clung to all of his clothes.

Speaking of which, Jessica noticed her son’s overflowing hamper. Rolling her eyes as only Malcolm would treat beautiful, five figure suits like gym clothes. She made a mental note to send Luisa to pick up Malcolm’s laundry and bring it to the dry cleaner’s.

Jessica sighed heavily as she had been hoping to _inquire_ about why Malcolm has been making himself so scarce lately but there was no use standing around in his empty apartment among all of the terrible trinkets he’d amassed over the years like that weapon collection he kept proudly displayed on the wall.

Turning on her heel to leave, two turquoise bags–one relatively small and one a bit bigger–on his dresser caught her eye. Jessica walked closer, inspecting them.

 _Tiffany?_ She couldn’t help the frown that spread over her face as she reached into the smaller bag, finding a necklace. Not just any necklace but small diamond solitaire on a thin silver chain. It was simple yet elegant. Who on earth did he buy _this_ for?

Jessica reached into the larger bag and found a…teddy bear? Now, this was sentimental and her son decidedly _was_ not. 

Clearly, he was trying to impress a young lady and Jessica felt her blood pressure rising. Malcolm had started seeing someone new. 

Someone _she_ didn’t know. This was why he had been derelict in his duties to his family. He’d been spending all his free time with this mystery girl. She did not like this at all. 

_What if she’s…unsuitable?_ She thought of all of the girls she knew her son would gravitate toward if not for her guidance and they _all_ were.

She’d done her very best to steer him in the direction of a girl who checked _all_ the necessary boxes in her opinion and she was entirely satisfied with how aesthetically pleasing they were, she just hadn’t realized that she should’ve asked the young lady for a psychiatric evaluation as well.

Jessica took a steadying breath to calm her rapidly fraying nerves.

Malcolm was buying Tiffany gifts for a woman he hadn’t thought to introduce to his mother. He meant to keep her–whomever she was–around that Jessica knew and she _hated_ the thought of it.

–––––––––––––––––

“Wait, do I have the wrong night?” Malcolm asked, following Dani into her apartment. 

A part of their new little normal was dinner and movies. Those nights had all been at his apartment up until tonight when he’d made the trip out to Morningside Heights. 

Malcolm was certain Dani told him tonight but seeing her in a faded, oversized NYPD t-shirt, her still damp air drying curls, her pretty face completely free of makeup, he didn’t know what to think. 

All he knew was that it should be illegal for a woman to look this _good_ without trying–it just reminded him of how out of his depth he was. A woman so entirely comfortable in her own skin that she walked around in an oversized t-shirt without makeup, knowing she looked gorgeous. A woman so entirely different than any he'd ever been with.

“No, of course not,” Dani shot him a confused look over her shoulder as he tried not to stare at the long, bare legs peeking out beneath her shirt. “Why?”

“It’s just…you look like you’re dressed for bed, I thought–" Malcolm replied, willing himself not to blush like the inexperienced adolescent he tended to act like only around his partner.

“Bright!” Nomi running to greet him from somewhere in the apartment, clad in pink footie pajamas with little clouds on them. Her nearly black curls creating a messy halo around her head as they escaped from a loose top knot.

He was still getting used to the now familiar warmth that spread through him every time he saw this adorably sweet little person and her dimpled smile. 

Malcolm stooped down, opening his arms for her as he always did, smiling as the toddler quickly ran into them, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck before pulling back suddenly. Nomi’s precious little face quizzical in a way Dani’s often was when she looked at him. “Where’re your jammies?”

“No one told me,” he pouted, looking up at Dani to which his partner rolled her eyes. Wearing sweats outside of the house made him itch but for them, he would any day.

“Mama! Bright should wear jammies too,” Nomi said seriously as she firmly believed that everyone should be included and no one should be left out. Her baby had a very strong sense of justice for a three year old.

“Okay, sweetie. Next time, Bright, you know what to do.” Dani said, crossing her arms over her chest, unable to stop her heart from clenching in a way she couldn’t decide was painful or not watching Nomi park herself on Bright’s knee, crossing her legs at the ankles as he squatted down the same way he did at crime scenes. 

His smile impossibly soft as her little one rested her head on his chest, absently running her cheek on his gray cashmere sweater. She watched as he automatically wrapped an arm around her back, rubbing it lightly.

Since infancy, Nomi loved having her back rubbed. Dani knew it comforted her baby but Bright didn’t. From the moment she met him, Dani realized that most things came naturally to her partner she just never expected _this_ to be one of them.

Bright embodied kinetic energy. He was always running toward a new thrill–a new excitement–impossible to slow down.

Dani watched the care and the attention Bright gave to Nomi–so different from what she’d expect from him. Up until very recently, his care for _her_ came with an asterisk if it came at all. 

She shook off those old, painful thoughts as Bright really had been doing better. He was trying when that was all she’d wanted from the beginning.

In the last three weeks, he’d been proving just what he set out to that he could be who she’d always thought he was–a man worthy of her trust– _her_ care. He’d been that man from the moment he brokenly declared in front of her that he deserved the Surgeon’s pain. 

Dani didn’t know all Bright had lived through at the hands of his serial killer father, but she’d known for certain that _no one_ deserved pain–no pain like that. She didn’t even know _him_ then but she knew he believed it and something in her made her want to show him that he didn’t. 

In including him in their lives, Dani wanted to show Bright that he deserved good things–things that didn’t come with acrimony or duplicity and she felt he was at least starting to believe her. He showed it to her and he showed it to Nomi too.

Bright showed Dani things she never thought would exist in him–things that made Nomi adore him and things that had once again started chipping away at the walls she built that he’d fractured the first time around.

Things that for a split second made her imagine a blue blanketed bundle in her partner’s arms, a marshmallow cream sweetness adorning his too handsome face, staring down at his own crystal eyes as his fingers lightly brushed a head of dark curls.

––––––––––––––––

Malcolm took in Dani’s apartment. He’d never been over before. She’d taken him home many times, she’d known where he lived only a week after meeting him. He honestly didn’t even know where she lived until now and that was his fault as he’d never asked.

Gil was right and though his boss didn’t say it explicitly–he _was self-centered_. As much as Malcolm didn’t want to admit it, he was beginning to see how Dani could think he had no interest in her. 

That familiar guilt twisted his insides. All he’d ever been was interested but just asking where Dani lived, seeing the things she kept and where she laid her head at night had felt like getting too close. The more he knew–the more he’d _want_ to know. Malcolm didn’t want those peeks into her life knowing she’d never want him to be apart of it.

Now, that he was or at least–he was getting closer to it–Malcolm realized that this wouldn’t exactly fit the profile he’d have of her either but perhaps it should have as it was very warm and very calm much like Dani herself. 

Her apartment was designed in neutral tones of brown, green and white. Her living room area held overstuffed taupe leather love seats with dark green pillows, a soft looking taupe rug covering her light colored hardwood floor. As he looked at the sheer white paneling with a sliding door that separated the living room from her bedroom, he noticed that Dani didn’t have many decorations. He figured that was probably intentional having an energetic three year old, but he also noticed the fresh flowers–Calla Lilys–in a vase on her kitchen counter. 

He wouldn’t think Dani to be the type of woman who cared much about flowers but he filed that away as well. 

_WHERE ARE YOU???_ Malcolm’s phone buzzed, drawing him away from his mental catalogue of Dani’s home. His mother’s irritated, all caps text reminding him that he was very much living on borrowed time. 

Malcolm knew Ainsley would cover for him as she was in full and rather vocal support of the way he’d “upgraded his life with a girl who carries snacks in her purse as opposed to a girl who probably shared mom's barbiturates.” He’d wanted to scold his sister as such a thing was unkind as well but the point was well taken and it was the reason he was trying to keep his mother out of his personal life for as long as he could. 

Looking at Dani settling onto one of the oversized love seats with Nomi in one arm and a plate in another as _Despicable Me_ started, Malcolm knew he couldn’t risk it. He wanted to keep this time with them–he wanted to keep this little bubble of happiness that he’d managed to secure despite all of the things he’d done to ruin the possibility of ever having it. 

He quickly texted his mother that he was “out” before promptly muting her texts. Malcolm knew he was making a _terrible_ mistake as not being available whenever she needed him was a crime against nature in his mother’s eyes.

Settling next to Dani who looked up at him with those lights he’d seen before, lights that continued to leave him breathless as he leaned in softly kissing her hair. Lights he now realized had only ever tried to guide him home and give him a place to belong and no matter what, he wouldn’t go back to being placeless.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani opened the door to Bright’s apartment as he’d offered to make breakfast for them on their rare day off. They were immediately greeted by The Staples Singers’s _I’ll Take You There_ from his record player, a song Dani remembered hearing in the house a lot growing up.

She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that Bright liked it too as she knew he preferred older music and there had always been threads that shouldn’t connect them but always did. 

Malcolm looked up from some files Gil had sent over to his phone, despite solving their crusade killer case there were still unsolved cases that his required his brand of specialized knowledge–including the Endicott case. 

He always avoided getting too close to that one and he couldn’t have been happier for the distraction as Dani and Nomi entered his living room

He watched Dani place Nomi on her feet, helping her daughter out of her coat and straightening her little hunter green hoodie in that way only a Mama could. His eyes widened a bit as Dani took off her oversized black cardigan, hanging it on the rack. 

His partner in a slightly oversized black t-shirt and black yoga pants–something he had never quite seen the appeal of until this moment. Because it was _him_ and the suaveness he usually had, completely decided to abandon him, Dani took exactly that moment to catch him shamelessly eyeing her up. She quirked a brow, the corners of her glossy pink lips tilting up in a smirk leading him to blush furiously. 

“Hi Bright!” Nomi said, thankfully giving him a reprieve as she ran to him once he stepped around the island, wrapping her small arms around his knees in a hug.

“Hi Mimi,” he laughed, scooping the impossibly sweet little girl up and scrunching his nose at her, drawing her hiccupy giggles. Melting completely at the way her carefree happiness showed so clearly through eyes that were just as dark as her mom’s but as he noticed the more he spent time with the two of them were rounder and less cat-like. 

Dani couldn’t remember ever feeling so soft as she looked at the scene in front of her. Nomi running her little hands over Bright’s stubbled cheeks, her baby’s bubbly laughter competing with Mavis Staples’s raspy growl over the stereo. The warm affection in her partner's smile reaching his ice blue eyes as they crinkled adorably in the corners.

She bent down, picking up Nomi’s black Vans as her baby continued her longstanding war against shoes before making her way over to them, casually wrapping an arm around Bright’s waist, feeling his taut muscles though a faded shirt with _Harvard_ emblazoned across the front. Muscles that were very well hidden beneath all of his tailored layers just underneath her palm.

If Bright found her uncharacteristic touch strange, he didn’t show it as her partner turned that softness on her, kissing her temple. “So I assume you’re gonna make good on that promise for breakfast?”

“That would be a correct assumption,” Bright replied, his eyes sparkling in a way she was still getting used to at least when he looked at _her_. “But think I’m gonna need some help.” 

Nomi lifted her head from his shoulder as Bright’s smile widened to megawatt levels, his own dimples showing. “I can help.”

“I’m counting on it,” Bright kissed her forehead before sitting her on the island as he went about pulling ingredients out of the cabinets.

Taking a seat in front of the island, Dani rested her hand underneath her chin as she watched them. 

Just as Bright was trying, Dani wanted to as well. She wanted to show that every moment he spent with them was because _she_ wanted him to.

That said, Dani did wonder if she was making the right decision allowing her daughter to become so attached to him. 

Other than Grandpa Gil, there was no man in her daughter’s life in a truly meaningful way and she’d die before she’d ever let Nomi’s biological father anywhere near her. Truthfully, she’d always thought her baby was fine with it just being the two of them. From the start, Nomi had always been a happy, cheerful little girl and Dani had always showered her with affection, making sure her baby knew she was endlessly loved.

That said, Dani didn’t think that Nomi would be missing that bond that only existed between a little girl and her father, but perhaps she should’ve as she remembered how close she’d been with her own father before he passed away when she was 16. She remembered how Gil had filled that void for her when she met him at 19. Dani wasn’t at all prepared and she couldn’t have been that Nomi would see all of what she must have been missing in _Bright_. 

Dani saw how Bright doted on her baby and it showed her that he did have more to give if and when he wanted to give it. She saw how he always stopped what he was doing to listen to whatever was on Nomi’s mind at that particular time. She saw how he always gave Nomi “warm” hugs that enfolded her completely. 

Her first priority was _always_ to protect her daughter but what happened if she really couldn’t protect herself and they both paid for it because Nomi wasn’t the only one attached. 

Dani was attached to Bright’s presence and how constant it had become. She was attached to talking to him and knowing he’d listen and support her. She was attached to feeling like just maybe she didn’t have to hold herself up all the time because there was someone who was willing to stand in when she just _couldn’t_ anymore. She was attached to all those pieces of himself that Bright had hidden behind masks. Those hidden pieces that he was just now starting to let her see completely and the fact that she had been there before was what scared her.

The last time Dani thought she was seeing those pieces, he ran from her without a second thought. The masks in place and the walls higher than ever as Bright acted like nothing she’d ever done for him mattered–like _she_ didn’t matter. Again, he was trying and so was she but it was hard to forget how that made her feel then. She’d never been insecure but as a woman, she did wonder if she didn’t do enough–if _she_ just wasn’t enough.

If Bright did that again, it would hurt even more than it did the last time, but Dani was a big girl. She’d been picking herself up and dusting herself off for as long as she could remember and she’d carry on–just as she always had.

The part that killed her was that she’d have no idea what to say to Nomi if Bright decided to later days the two of them. If he decided that being with her and all that entailed wasn’t what he wanted–if _she_ wasn’t _who_ he wanted. After all, Dani hadn’t changed– _she_ was still the same but that was exactly what he’d done before.

Dani sighed as she knew she was letting her worries run away with her. She chose to focus on the the present, not a future spoiled by the past. The present was a wonderful one where she watched Bright intently measure out ingredients for pancakes before helping Nomi pour them into the mixing bowl both of them smiling happily–pleased to be in each other’s company.

“I’m surprised you even know how to make pancakes,” Dani said with raised brows as she was even more surprised he had the ingredients in his usually empty kitchen to make them–from scratch even.

“Everyone knows how to make pancakes,” Bright smirked, producing a whisk out of one of the island drawers with the type of flourish she’d gotten used to seeing out in the field–not so much in the kitchen.

“Mama just adds water,” Nomi said as she fascinatedly watched Bright combine both the dry and wet ingredients before giving her the container of organic blueberries to fold into the batter.

“ _Mama!_ ” Bright gasped in mock-disapproval as she rolled her eyes playfully. 

“But Mama’s pancakes are still good,” Dani said in defense of her pancake making abilities but laughing despite herself.

“I’m sure that’s debatable,” Bright remarked appearing unconvinced, before neatly dodging the dish towel she threw at him. Nomi laughing at the two of them.

_Monday you can fall apart_  
_Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart_  
_Oh, Thursday doesn't even start_  
_It's Friday, I'm in love_  


Robert Smith’s charmingly melancholy voice suddenly rang out from Bright’s speakers as the music had switched from his record player to his phone. 

“I love this song!” Malcolm breathed, his pale eyes alight as he opened his arms just as Nomi delightedly hopped into them. Dani shook her head as he twirled her daughter around the living room, smiling as it was now up to her to finish breakfast.

––––––––––––––––––

All night, Jessica couldn’t stop thinking about those gifts from Tiffany and just who they were for. She almost couldn’t wait until the sun came up to confront her son for keeping something so imperative from her. After all, she _deserved_ to know who he was spending his time with and she did _not_ appreciate being ignored.

Unlocking the door with her key, the sight was enough to strike her dead. Cheerful 80s music blaring loudly through the apartment as he twirled a small girl in his arms–absolutely beaming as the child giggled away.

Her son had done many things that have surprised her over the years but _this_ –she scarcely had words for.

“Are we gonna forget about breakfast you two?” A female voice scolded lovingly, amusement evident in her tone.

Jessica realized that recognized that thick outer borough accent. Her sneaking suspicion confirmed as she saw her son’s partner taking what smelled like blueberry pancakes off a griddle. Her son did not eat _pancakes_. What strange, alternate world did she walk into?

But more than that, she looked at the young detective and she looked at the little girl in her son’s arms. The little girl’s black curls were looser than Detective Powell’s spirals. Her golden olive complexion was also a shade or so more on the lighter side than the detective’s.

An incredible disquiet overtook her as she remembered that Detective Powell viewed Gil as a father figure just as much as her son did. As much as she’d disliked it, Gil and Jackie’s was the first stop Malcolm always made as soon as his flight arrived from Northern Virginia before he moved back to New York. She’d always been under the impression that her son and his partner met for the first time when he’d started working for the NYPD but they very well could’ve had _relations_ in the past.

More than that, she wasn’t naive enough to pretend that everything she knew about her son wasn’t only because he allowed it. If Malcolm really wanted to, he could’ve hidden something like this from her. He could’ve hidden an entire family that she wasn’t a part of.

Jessica had been _incredibly_ patient with her son and his exploits over the years. She tolerated his morbid fascinations, his obsession with their family skeletons and his unwillingness to do anything that resembled normalcy on a consistent basis. But _this?_ This she would not abide.

Those sentimental gifts she realized with a type of lividity she’d previously thought impossible were for _them._

“ _What the hell is going on here?_ ” Malcolm turned wide-eyed, noticing her presence for the first time. A guilty expression coloring his features that only enraged her further–confirming the most awful of her suspicions.

The little girl squeaked, her brown eyes wide as she buried her face in his shoulder. Malcolm rubbed the child’s back soothingly as he kissed her curls.

“Malcolm Alexander Whitly, _please_ tell me you were not this foolish.” Jessica didn’t know what she was even looking at all she knew was that she did not like it one bit.

“Mother, I can explain–" Malcolm said quickly as the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck, burrowing deeper into him. Jessica watched as Malcolm adjusted his arms around the child, holding her tightly against him. Clearly protecting the child from _her._

If the line in the sand wasn’t already clear–it was now. It was the three of them and _her_ on the outside. _The way he’s always wanted it_ , a voice in her head supplied before she could shove it back out.

“ _Can you?_ I know your lack of impulse control led to some terrible decisions in the past…but this…how could you?” Jessica continued, her anger overshadowing things she’d much rather not dwell on.

Dani thought she heard something over the music but she didn’t expect to see Jessica Whitly _shouting_ at her partner while _her child_ was huddled in his arms clearly terrified. Her legs moved without a second thought as the irate matron jabbed her manicured finger menacingly at Bright and entirely too close to Nomi.

“Mama’s got you, it’s okay, sweetie,” Dani soothed, reaching for Nomi, her baby clinging to her tightly as Bright relinquished his protectively tight hold on her. His expression pained and utterly embarrassed as he looked at her, his hand still on Nomi’s back. Her partner looking like he wanted to say _something_.

“Before we allow this to go any further, I demand you take a paternity test.” Jessica said archly, breaking in before he could as she turned to her, distrust radiating from the woman’s cold steel blue eyes. 

“I think we should go,” Dani said quickly as this was insane. A paternity test? Was she serious?

“I think that would be best,” Jessica sniffed as she folded her arms, giving the two of them one last disdainful look before turning her ire on her son.

Malcolm could only stand in frozen horror as Dani hurriedly snatched up her cardigan, wristlet, keys and Nomi’s little backpack with the Totoro doll he’d given her sticking out of it, speeding out of his apartment.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm closed his eyes as he’d never been so _humiliated_ which considering all he’d been through in the last year was saying something. He willed himself to calm down as he felt his fury rise to levels he knew it shouldn’t, but he couldn’t every time he recalled the memory of Dani’s bewildered, embarrassed expression and Nomi trembling in fear against his chest.

He was used to his mother barging in on him and he knew it would happen sooner or later due to his evasiveness but for her to insult his _family_ that way? No matter how he tried to talk himself out of admitting it to himself, Dani and Nomi were his family. He kept no one closer to a heart that had been broken more times than he could count and only with them did it ever feel like it could be whole again–that _he_ could be whole again. And his mother took it upon herself to ruin that.

He’d been trying so hard to show Dani that he could be the man she deserved and this was what happened–what he let happen.

“Do you wake up and decide to be hideous or do you work your way up to it?” Malcolm asked once he was finally able to form words.

“Say what you will, dear, but I’m just trying to protect you,” his mother replied blithely, seemingly satisfied with behavior that might have just ruined his life. 

“ _Protect me? When have you ever?_ ” Malcolm exploded, unable to maintain any semblance of civility at the idea that his mother thought he needed protecting from the only woman who’d ever given a damn about him and a three year old. His mother’s usually stoic face blanched though he wasn’t sure if it was due to his words or his volume.

He knew is temper was slipping and Dani would be disappointed in him if she knew, but he was already too far beyond the point of return. 

“Did you protect me when dad abused me for years? Did you protect me when your psychotic boyfriend tried to have me framed for murder? Oh and here’s my personal favorite, did you protect me by insisting I date Eve _only_ because she passed your eye test, sat in your living room and flattered you?” Malcolm watched his mother’s eyes narrow and he just realized his crucial mistake–he’d just given her a fight. 

“Oh, how incredibly _rich_ coming from you, Malcolm. If memory serves me correctly and I believe it does, even after we found out just how fraudulent the young lady was, _you_ were all too willing to take her back. _I_ was not the only one comfortable with being flattered.” His mother crossed her arms, her expression full of cool derision as she stared at him, knowing she had successfully wrestled back the upper hand.

Malcolm stared back at his mother, unwilling to show just how much that stung but knowing all the while that he’d always been a terrible poker player and his eyes showed _everything_. He was so starved for attention and affection that he’d accept being lied to. He’d accept knowing he was unwanted only to feel for a few moments that he wasn't. He was _that_ pathetic.

Arguments with his mother were always the same. No matter how justified he was, she always knew exactly what to say to make him back down–to hurt him.

He turned away from her, heading to his closet to get dressed for work. Anything was better than being here.

His mother sighed, “I know you’re emotional right now but I know how this goes–"

“You don’t know anything. You _never_ did.” Malcolm said lowly, taking one last look at her, pain and contempt stealing his voice.

––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm entered the conference room slowly. Relief and something like impending doom, filtering through his body at the sight of his partner, sitting at the table her curly head buried in notes, dressed in a cranberry toned scoop necked sweater and high waisted black jeans. Just like him though in a much different way, this job was an escape for her too.

She looked up as he pushed a cup of Earl Grey and blueberry scones he’d picked up from a bakery near his apartment toward her. He knew tea and baked goods were nowhere near sufficient enough for what she and her daughter endured this morning, but he needed some kind of opening. He needed some way to make this better.

“Dani, I’m so sorry for what happened, I had no idea she was gonna do that.” Malcolm rushed out before Dani could open her mouth to speak. He was always apologizing to her–he always had things to apologize to her for. 

He couldn’t even give her a normal morning with breakfast. As much as he loved being around her, it was no secret why he’d stopped trying. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved so much better. 

She’d shared with him her past and he knew how displays of anger–of rage–made her feel and he’d subjected her and her daughter to that. Malcolm never wanted her or Nomi to feel unsafe around him and that was exactly what he’d done. The shame burned within him.

“Bright, it wasn’t your fault.” Dani said softly, smiling a bit. 

“I–I should’ve done more. I should’ve said something. I froze…” Bright trailed off. Dani could see the misery clouding his crystalline eyes and she really didn’t want him to beat himself up over a situation she saw was far beyond his control. “How’s Nomi? Can you tell her I’m sorry?”

“Nomi’s okay, she’s spending the rest of the day with my mom. After a day of treats with _Nonna_ , she’ll be fine. She’s not mad at you, I promise,” Dani said gently. “She was just disappointed that she didn’t get her pancakes.”

Bright’s lips quirked up in the barest hint of a smile. “I promise, she’ll get them.”

“I know, but this is a good start. I’ll be sure to bring these home to her,” Dani said with a warm smile, the kind that reached her dark eyes and turned them into those little crescents he always found adorable, putting the scones in her bag before taking a sip of tea. “A paternity test though?” 

Bright groaned, recalling the memory. “That was inexcusable.”

“But realistic as I already know that was your mom’s worst nightmare thinking that we were yours.” 

Despite how illogical it was, Jessica Whitly seemed to really be under the impression that Bright was her child’s father. As much as she tried to push the thought away, there were times she honestly wished he was–at least she knew her baby would be _loved_ –Nomi would be protected. That fear she always had of her ex coming back for retribution never would’ve existed.

Malcolm reached for Dani’s hand, squeezing it gently. His thumb lightly brushing over her knuckles. “You are,” he said simply.

He felt _horrible_ knowing her words were true. What his mother didn’t understand–she denounced and all too often that extended to Malcolm himself. 

He now realized that he didn’t need his mother’s understanding or her approval–he never did. Doing things her way had left him with a feeling akin to breathing under water –lost and drowning. He couldn’t feel that again–he wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Dani’s brows raised at his unexpected show of honesty as she sipped her tea and times like these made him wish that he were able to read her as well as he was able to read literally _everyone else_. “I mean, I…you…the two of you are like family to me,” he finally got out. Malcolm sighed internally, he was articulate _once_.

His partner smiled slowly, that same one that made her dark eyes gleam. The same one that made him pause not too long after meeting her once he realized just how _pretty_ she was. The same one that reinforced just how out of his league _she_ was.

“Powell, I need you to go pick up some evidence from CSU,” Gil’s voice broke in from the doorway.

Malcolm watched Dani gather up her things before grabbing her bag and her tea. She surprised him by leaning down, her fragrant curls brushing his face, the scent reminding him of peach candy. She kissed his cheek, her lips–as soft as he'd ever felt–lingering a bit longer than she had to.

“This is doing better,” Dani whispered in his ear, her breath warm and tea-soaked making him wonder exactly what that breath would be like washing over his tongue. He looked up, his eyes trained on her full nude pink lips as a flush heated his cheeks, giving him the strongest urge to loosen his collar. Dani smirked, a playful glint in her brown eyes as she practically floated out of the conference room.

Malcolm took a deep breath, smiling a bit to himself as he stood. 

“Do you need a moment…?” Gil asked, leaning against the doorframe, obviously amused as he sipped his coffee.

“N–no…I’m good,” Malcolm cleared his throat as he breezed by his boss, who he _swore_ was laughing at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title refers to "Cosmic Love" by Florence + the Machine and the other song mentioned is "Friday, I'm in Love" by The Cure


	5. Chapter 5

Just getting out of the shower, Dani heard a knock at the door. It was strange as she wasn’t expecting any packages. The delivery guy handed her a large white box and a smaller package which she rather confusedly accepted. 

Bringing the boxes to her island, her brows nearly disappeared into her hairline when she saw the words _Venus et Fleur_ stamped in gold on the front. 

Dani recognized the name of the Instagram famous florist who specialized in fancy “eternity” roses that supposedly lasted up to a year and she knew such a gift could only come from one person in particular. As she lifted the lid finding about four dozen _black_ roses, she laughed knowing exactly who that one person was. 

“They’re not dead?” Nomi ran her finger over the soft petals of the expensive bouquet, her little brow furrowed as she knew when flowers turned black that meant it was time for Mama to throw them out. 

“No, they’re not dead. They’re just dyed black. They smell just like regular roses, see?” Dani brought the large box closer to her as Nomi leaned down, her deep dimples showing as her baby smiled at the familiar scent wafting up from the box.

 _Hoping to do just a little bit better, Love Bright._ The little card read and Dani sighed trying unsuccessfully not to absolutely swoon like the girls in the romcoms but this was just so... _thoughtful_ and she quickly texted, telling him as much.

“Flowers make Mama happy,” Nomi noted astutely as she continued running her little fingers over the petals, noticing her Mama's admittedly uncharacteristic excitement as even _Dani_ would say that her default was even-keeled. 

The tea and scones were fine and Dani honestly hadn’t blamed Bright for his mother absolutely losing her mind this morning. 

It was hurtful to her mostly because it had ruined Nomi’s morning. Her baby was having such a fun time with Bright and the entire situation had upset her because Nomi didn’t understand it. Dani dreaded the day when she would.

From the beginning, she’d taught her baby to see the good in the world and the best in people and Dani had to explain to Nomi that not everyone believed in that the way they did. Love was a choice and for them it was the _only_ one.

As bad as the situation was for them, Dani had been hurt for Bright too. She could only imagine how bad things got after they left and after witnessing _that_ , so many more things about her partner made sense. 

The sudden, angry outbursts. The inability to sort through difficult emotions. The weaponizing of words against those who had no intention of causing harm. She saw it all directed at _him_ in front of her eyes.

Dani knew how The Surgeon had impacted Bright. She’d seen that on the very first day they met but that coupled with having a mother who could be just plain _mean_ –it made her ache for him. 

She’d made her own fair share of mistakes but never once could she imagine Antonella Powell, her _Mamma_ , doing anything like that. Dani remembered how ashamed she was to break the news of her pregnancy to her mom.

Antonella was a staunch Roman Catholic who would _never_ approve of the situation Dani had gotten herself into with someone who had no business being anyone’s father or husband, but her _Mamma_ took one look at her–seeing her shame and her fear–and wrapped her into the tightest hug imaginable. _Mamma_ held her the way she did that day they buried her dad as she ran her fingers though Dani’s curls, telling her that all would be well and just because of that Dani knew it would be.

That love and care was what Dani had been raised on and today she saw fully what Bright had been raised on.

“What’s that?” Nomi asked as she sidled up beside her on the couch. Dani had been so wrapped up in thoughts from this morning, she had scarcely been paying attention to the contents of the second package. 

Dani tilted her head as she didn’t quite know what it was as she pulled out a soft Hello Kitty looking plush with pink bunny ears with a matching pink blanket with the little character on it. 

Of course, Bright got Nomi a gift too and that earlier swooning feeling just intensified.

“This is Melody,” Dani said looking at the little tag hanging off what she would assume was Melody’s paw. “Bright got her for you.”

“For me?” Nomi chirped, looking up at her for confirmation. Dani nodded with a smile as Nomi picked up Melody who was almost her size, holding the plush to her little chest, absolutely _delighted_ by her new friend.

“There’s a Melody blanket to go with it,” Dani wrapped it around her little one before scooping her up, pressing kisses to her cheek as Nomi laughed, happily burritoed. “I’m sure Bright’s gonna be thrilled to see that you like her so much when he gets here.”

“Will he be wearing jammies?” Nomi asked seriously as her baby still very much wanted him to match them when they watched movies together.

“I’ll make sure of it.” Dani grinned, kissing her curls.

––––––––––––––––––

Unlocking the door only to find that it already was unlocked, Malcolm’s jaw clenched already knowing who was waiting for him on the other side. 

He spotted his mother sitting on the couch, her legs crossed primly as she helped herself to his Martell XO. It was just incredibly typical that she was drinking cognac acting as though he owed her something.

Malcolm didn’t know if she’d been there all day, it wouldn’t have surprised him if that were the case and he honestly didn't care if it were. She could stay there all night if she wanted. He’d get a room at The Langham if he needed to or maybe _Dani_ would take him in…

Malcolm bypassed his mother as though she weren't there, thinking of what that would be like if his partner did let him stay with her. He wondered if Dani would let him lay beside her. He shouldn’t even consider the possibility considering how dangerous that would be but he couldn’t help but wonder what that would feel like? 

He knew Dani ran cooler than he did but maybe in that instance her skin would be warm. He knew she also opted for oversized t-shirts as opposed to pajamas. Malcolm bit his lip, thinking of just how enticing the idea of being so close to her like _that_ was.

“This silent treatment? That’s very mature, dear.” His mother said archly, making him remember that she _was_ in fact still there as he’d kind of forgotten just that quickly. 

He had nothing to say to her. She’d said enough for both of them–things that wouldn’t be forgotten so easily. 

Just as he was heading to his closet to find something that wasn’t his work clothes, his phone buzzed. 

_You better be wearing jammies._ Malcolm snorted as he read Dani’s text, going to his drawer for joggers and an old shirt from undergrad before disappearing into the shower.

Jessica watched as her son emerged fifteen minutes later from the shower in what appeared to be his lounge apparel with his damp hair falling in his eyes. She sat up a bit straighter as it was clear that Malcolm was going to give up his sulking and actually sit down and talk to her. Or at least that was what she _thought_ he was going to do. 

Malcolm disappeared into his closet again before appearing minutes later wearing one of the very few pairs of sneakers he owned, Stan Smith Adidas, and shrugging into one of his many overcoats. 

Malcolm wasn’t going to talk to her at all–he was going _out_ and it didn’t take a genius to figure out where he was going.

“Malcolm, we have to talk about this.” Jessica stood, following her son into the kitchen who still said nothing as he retrieved his keys. “You have a child and you didn’t tell me. What was I supposed to do? Celebrate your irresponsibility?”

She _needed_ him to see things from her side. Perhaps she didn’t handle things as well as she could have but he had to know how she’d react to such a thing. How she would react to him keeping something like this from her. 

But more than that, the way Jessica saw it as her son’s escape. She saw the the lightness, the delight, the peace on his face as he twirled the child over his head and Jessica knew it was wrong but she'd wanted to put a stop to it. She’d wanted to dismantle something he’d specifically chosen to keep from her–exclude her from. 

She wanted to crush any reminder that this was what Malcolm had always wanted when he changed his surname, adopted Gil and Jackie as his parents and moved to Washington D.C. He wanted a reset but not the same one she did where she made up for her absence in his life by clinging even tighter. Her son wanted a reset where he was absent from _her_. She couldn’t allow it and not with girl who specifically gave him exactly that. A girl she couldn’t relate to in the slightest.

Malcolm turned slowly, his face looking as though it were carved from marble. 

Jessica knew how to handle her son’s anger as it was often explosive just like her own but she didn’t know how to handle him staring at her as though he were seeing a stranger–not his mother. 

She’d seen so many emotions filter through her son’s incredibly expressive face but this one was unnerving. His wide blue eyes truly were the window to his soul and the scorn she saw reflecting from them–it cut right through her. She knew this wasn’t like all the other times they had arguments that turned into shouting matches. He had no intention of seeing things from her side.

“You always say I’m so quick to make you the monster and yet you’re always so quick to act like one,” Malcolm said quietly, the disgust he could barely contain, dripping from his words. “Nomi is _Dani’s_ child. But what if she _were_ mine and that’s how you act? That’s how you’d treat someone who by nature is a part of me too? That’s how you’d treat her mother? Someone who honored me enough to allow _my child_ to grow inside of her? Lock up when you leave.”

With that Jessica watched her son’s retreating back as he left her standing alone, speechless in his apartment as he went to go join the family he’d chosen. 

––––––––––––––––––

Opening the door to Dani’s apartment, Malcolm was greeted by the sight of Nomi running to him, her little arms wrapped around the My Melody doll he’d gotten for her that he hadn’t realized would end up being nearly as big as she was. 

He hadn’t been able to forget how scared she’d been when his mother decided to show up and ruin what had been a perfect morning. He didn’t know exactly what he was to Nomi but in deepest recesses of his heart, he knew what he’d like to be and he didn’t want to betray _her_ trust either. He wanted to protect her and he didn’t want her to associate him with fear.

Malcolm usually had all the answers when he needed them and he was a little embarrassed that he had to Google “cute things for little girls” but it appeared that he had gotten it right.

Nomi held out the the doll to him before tucking it under her chin. “Thank you,” she murmured shyly as she stepped into the circle of his arms.

Malcolm smiled, the warmth in this moment chasing away all of the coldness that had seeped into his bones since early this morning as he held this most precious little girl tight to his chest. 

He knew how Nomi had been made to feel earlier, but Malcolm wanted her to know that she was treasured just as if she were a part of him even if he couldn’t say that aloud.

“I thought Melody could keep you company,” Malcolm replied softly.

He watched Nomi chew on her lip, a nervous look he’d seen on Dani’s face on a few occasions. Her big heavily lashed eyes looking up at him as she shifted from foot to foot. “…Why…that lady was so mad?”

Malcolm glanced up upon hearing his partner’s soft bare footsteps, he saw the flash of something painful flit across Dani’s delicate features before it smoothed out. _He_ knew why just as _she_ knew why but it didn’t make the reason any less sad–any less unfair. 

Looking back down, seeing an innocence and earnestness shining through starry, owl-like eyes, he didn’t really know what to say.

He didn’t know what to say that would explain his mother’s fury at the idea of such a wonderful little person being his. Malcolm couldn’t even admit to himself the multitude of times he wished she were.

If that were even within the realm of possibility for one such as himself–someone with doubts, fears, night terrors and antipsychotics–Malcolm would be lucky to have a child as gentle and smart as Nomi. An entirely pure little soul that had never known the type of darkness he had since he was barely older than her.

“…Sometimes, my mother gets overwhelmed…and she doesn’t really know how to handle it,” Malcolm said doing his best to explain something so difficult and awful.

“Your... _Mama?_ ” Nomi’s eyes go wide obviously in complete disbelief that the screaming, red faced woman could be his Mother.

Malcolm smiled a bit as he kissed her temple, tickling her lightly as Nomi giggled away. “Yeah…I don’t exactly have one like yours. You got really lucky. You have the best Mama in the world.”

Dani smiled, feeling the chains loosen in her own chest as she watched her partner and her daughter. This morning was unfortunate but his mother could’t ruin _this_. She couldn’t take _this_. 

Bright told her in the conference room as he tried to make amends that they were his and looking at her partner in his requested jammies–his charcoal sweats and faded shirt from college–unencumbered and free from the demons that refused him rest, Dani realized that he had become theirs too.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm sighed as he took a seat across from his sister at one of the trendy restaurants she frequented in her Soho neighborhood. He knew Ainsley had called this impromptu lunch for the sole reason of being nosy, especially since she knew he wouldn’t feel like eating.

He also knew she must’ve heard about his and their mother’s most recent falling out and he wasn’t looking forward to recounting the reason he wasn’t speaking to her for the time being.

“So I heard you and mom had a Shakespearian knock down drag out–another one,” Ainsley said in way of greeting.

“No, Mother had a meltdown in front of Dani and Nomi. She said what was on her mind and I said what was on mine.” Malcolm replied as Ainsley’s brows rose. She’d already heard from their mother what had been on Malcolm’s mind and it wasn’t good.

“Did that include throwing all of our screwed up-ness in her face?” Ainsley asked with raised brows over the rim of her Pineapple-Coconut Mojito. 

“Are you here on Mother’s behalf?” Malcolm crossed his arms because if that were the case, this lunch would be a short one.

“No, but from what she told me, you were pretty harsh. Yeah, she fumbled the ball–multiple times–but the first rule of being a Whitly is never say the quiet part out loud.” 

“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe if we all stopped pretending everything’s fine, one day it actually will be.” Malcolm countered, unwilling to bend for a moment. Times like these made Ainsley wonder if her brother had missed his calling and should’ve gone to law school instead. He honestly would’ve made one hell of a prosecutor and unfortunately, in his eyes their mother was the one on trial. “Also did Mother mention how _quiet_ she was when she verbally accosted me while I had a child in my arms? Did she mention how _quiet_ she was when she demanded I take a paternity test in front of Dani?”

“ _Oof._ ” Ainsley winced as their mom had conveniently left that part out.

“That’s putting it lightly.”

“Okay, but didn’t I say that kid kinda looks like you and didn’t I say this was gonna backfire spectacularly?” She’d tried to give him a heads up that Hurricane Jessica was gonna make landfall soon but were her warnings heeded? No, they were not. Malcolm gave her a _look_ as it was clear her brother was in no mood for I told you so’s. “She did come to apologize though.”

“No, she came to lecture me about _irresponsibility_ and how Mother knows best, which we can both agree is a lie.” Malcolm argued as if to say _case closed_. He’d _definitely_ make one hell of a prosecutor.

Ainsley slowly chewed a sweet potato fry as she appraised the hard set of her brother’s jaw, matching the diamond hardness of his eyes. While Malcolm was unflappably good-humored, today he absolutely lived up to the ice prince he resembled. She could practically feel the Arctic chill coming off him in waves as they discussed their mother. 

She’d honestly never seen her brother like this before. He had a relatively short fuse but he burned out quickly. When people hurt him, he never held it against them. Their father was a perfect example of that but this was _different_.

“Her best almost got me sent to prison for the rest of my life and she almost cost me Dani.”

“Okay, I was with you for a second but... _you_ almost cost you Dani.” Ainsley corrected before popping another fry into her mouth. “You didn’t have to go after box girl and when mom sent her to your apartment–total red flags by the way–you could’ve sent Princess Percocet and her stale Girl Scout cookies on her merry way.”

“Princess Percocet? Ains, that’s pretty cold.” Malcolm scolded mildly but he figured this was probably safer than remarking on the “stale Girl Scout cookies” as his sister was about as subtle as a chainsaw. “Would it kill you to show a little respect for the dead?”

“You know I’m right like there was no other explanation for her unnatural perkiness,” Ainsley shrugged, flipping her freshly blown out blonde hair over her shoulder. “Also if I were being disrespectful, I’d mention her _cankles_ but I didn’t.”

“She didn’t have _cankles._ "

“Um… _I know what I saw._ ” Ainsley insisted around a mouthful of Kale salad as Malcolm rolled his eyes. He had no idea how his sister managed to graduate from Cornell with honors without ever having left the eighth grade. “Now that I think about it, you know for all the trouble, you should’ve just paid for it like didn’t you work one of those sex club-escort service cases? It would’ve solved all your problems and we’d all be better off for it to be honest.” 

Ainsley smirked at her brother’s face going absolutely _crimson_ ,“ I mean, I don’t know for sure but something tells me the most _exciting_ thing about box girl was that she slept in a box. For a few grand, you could’ve had some _real_ fun.”

Very rarely was her brother ever at a loss for words but as he sputtered, his mouth opening and closing and his face turning a color that suggested medical attention, Ainsley couldn’t help the laughter that exploded from her belly. She honestly wouldn’t mess with him this way if he didn’t walk right into the jokes every time. 

“I’m still here because…” Malcolm said after awhile, leaning back in his seat, leveling her with their mother’s unamused stare.

“Because in the event of any and all future schemes, you’ll need me to cover your ass.” Ainsley replied easily, draining the last of her Mojito.

“Honestly, my scheming days are over,” her brother’s irritation with her shifting into something that thawed all of the frost that had been radiating off him since the moment he sat down.

“Let me guess? That has something to do with a certain lady cop…” Ainsley teased, seeing her brother grin in a way that made him look much younger than his 29 years. “All jokes aside, you seriously could’ve told mom you had your eye on someone else. She would’ve backed off–eventually.”

Malcolm’s smile faded into a look she’d always known as his default–quietly pained. “I could have but I just wanted to prove to myself I could be a normal guy with a normal girlfriend. I wanted to prove that despite all dad did to me, I could have a normal relationship.”

“And that’s on me,” Ainsley admitted with a sigh, leaning forward on her elbows. Nothing about _The Interview_ had been her finest moment and though Whitlys by law did not talk about their feelings, she did feel bad about hurting her brother. “If I didn’t throw you under the bus trying to get a rise out of dad, you wouldn’t have gone running to the first psycho with open arms and open–"

“ _Ains!_ ”

“I digress but…like Dani seems super normal.”

“Dani’s _extraordinary_.” Ainsley smiled at the look on her brother’s face. A look as sweet as the vegan carrot cake she was currently tearing into. A look so entirely mushy, Ainsley could hardly believe _he_ was the one making it.

“Even better…again why didn’t you ask her out? You know, other than the fact that she didn’t let you into her high waisted skinnies five minutes after meeting you.” 

“It wasn’t like that.” Ainsley snorted at the way Malcolm had the nerve to look indignant. She would bet even _he_ didn’t believe that.

“Oh, please. _The lab rat_ remember? Be honest, you just wanted someone who’d stroke your–"

Malcolm scowled at his sister, daring her to complete that sentence. 

“Ego,” Ainsley’s smirk turned devious, her tone mocking. “But let’s face it, box girl probably couldn’t give a decent one of _those_ either…The look on your face tells me I’m right.”

“Dr. Ruth? _Do you mind?_ ” Malcolm threw a fry at his demonic little sister, hitting her square in the cheek.

“ _Hey!_ Real mature, Mal,” Ainsley protested sending him an irritated glare as she brushed the fry off her expensive chocolate brown corduroy skirt. “But continue, Dani’s normal and extraordinary…and somehow that didn’t translate to girlfriend material because why exactly…?”

“Because it’s not easy when you work side by side with the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen. It’s not just that though. I mean, Dani’s kind and patient and just _good_ and I didn’t even know if Dani even _liked_ me like that and I honestly couldn’t see why she would. Eve…was easy,” Malcolm ignored Ainsley snorting and mouthing _Wow, you don’t say_ , continuing on. “With her…it felt doable. I didn’t feel like I was about to fall off a cliff every time she looked at me.”

It was cowardly but but was true. Malcolm had wanted a relationship on _his_ terms. He didn’t want to be unmasked and left vulnerable. There was something so incredibly terrifying about placing his heart in Dani’s delicate hands, knowing she had the power to absolutely _destroy_ it if she so chose to.

Malcolm had spent his entire life feeling powerless. His father had taken every ounce of power from him the moment he put that Chloroform soaked cloth in front of his nose at eight years old. In adulthood, he tried so very hard to scrape together some of that power that had been stolen for himself–over himself. The idea of _giving_ someone power over him willingly–even if it was a woman who’d been nothing but good to him–made him recoil. It brought all of his fears to light.

He couldn’t reconcile with the idea of giving power and control to someone, all the while trusting that she’d keep him safe without knowing if she truly wanted him. The uncertainty of it, he just _couldn’t_ and he _didn’t._

“But isn’t that what love’s supposed to be like though? It should be at least a little scary that means you’re risking something, you know, important.” Ainsley said opting for a bit of thoughtfulness instead of needling him with her annoying jokes.

Malcolm considered his sister’s words. Ainsley was four years younger and had never been in love herself but even _she_ understood something _he_ hadn’t been able to. 

Life really was about taking risks. Malcolm had always known that but he hadn’t been ready to do it. 

Now he was because the payoff–the feeling he had when Dani wrapped her arm around him the other morning, the feeling of her lips on his cheek, the way she looked at him when he spent time with Nomi–was far bigger than any fear he’d imagined.

––––––––––––––––––

Deciding to drop into the precinct after his rather _interesting_ lunch with his sister, Malcolm noticed the team all huddled in Gil’s office. Dani and JT with their game faces on as their boss sat behind his desk talking to them about something he’d been conspicuously left out of.

“Meeting of the minds and no one invited me?” Malcolm grinned, popping his head into the door, sensing a new case.

Gil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Bright, if I need you, I’ll call you.”

“Yeah but I’m part of the team now. I can contribute.” Malcolm insisted, sneaking a glance at his partner who had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and a gun strapped to her thigh in addition to the one she usually kept on her hip. 

Whatever was about to happen was likely serious but Malcolm couldn’t help _appreciating_ his partner’s Lara Croft look–something that must’ve been a bit obvious as Gil cleared his throat, his patience appearing to drain by the second. 

“Bright, we’re not chasing after a serial killer. We’re trying to get hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of semiautomatics off the street. Dani’s gonna make a buy and as soon as the transaction is made, JT and I will make the arrest. That’s it.”

“Great! I can help with that. I am multitalented. I am _multifaceted_ even. I don’t just do murder–I do other things. Also why does Dani get to make the buy?” Malcolm protested not missing his partner rolling her eyes at him. This sounded exciting and he _definitely_ wanted in.

“Because Dani doesn’t look like a cop.” Gil explained slowly as if speaking to the small child Bright was currently acting like. 

“Neither do I. I can help. Dani and I can do it together.”

“Bro, you’re not actually a cop,” JT reminded him dryly with crossed arms.

“But she and I are partners. No one works better together than we do,” Malcolm looked to Dani, begging her with his eyes to back him up. 

“It might give me more credibility. I mean, rich guy in a suit…Bright looks shady enough to need illegal guns.” Dani sighed, unfortunately seeing the merit in her partner going with her to make the transaction.

“Thanks…I think.” Malcolm frowned, unable to tell if that was a compliment or not.

Gil heaved a sigh, feeling a Bright-sized migraine forming between his brows. “Okay but do _exactly_ as I say. No shenanigans.”

“Not a single one,” Bright vowed, practically vibrating with his prototypical manic energy and looking far too excited for this to end well.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani paced the hospital waiting room waiting for the moment she’d be allowed to see her partner as what should’ve been an easy in and easy out ended up being anything but that.

She’d contacted the dealer letting him know her “colleague” was interested in buying as well, only Bright had misunderstood and thought he was supposed to be her boyfriend and he’d casually referred to her as his “girlfriend” that slight slip was enough to set off alarms.

Bright tried to smoothly explain that they were colleagues long before they’d gotten together and Dani thought their lie had been bought as the dealer good-naturedly patted her on the back as he went to his trunk to retrieve the guns, only she quickly realized that he’d felt her vest underneath her coat and almost at once, she and Bright were ducking behind cars in the abandoned warehouse, dodging bullets.

Dani could hear Gil swearing from her walkie-talkie as he and JT scrambled to cover the exits. She also remembered telling Bright to “stay here and don’t move” as she quickly flew into action, rising from her crouch, pulling out her gun and shooting back.

Before she knew it, even more bullets were ringing out and she was being roughly shoved in the back, sending her crashing to the floor as her partner shouted her name. 

She'd hurriedly scrambled to her knees as Bright had pulled his famous martyr act, throwing himself in front of a bullet for her. He’d gotten hit and she’d been trying her best to stanch the bleeding as the stain bloomed over his expensive light blue dress shirt. 

“Malcolm, I swear to God if you die on me, I _will_ kill you,” Dani had said as her panic started to rise. 

Bright laughed–a rasping, painful sound. His too handsome face deathly pale. “You’ve never called me that before…”

“It’s so you know you’re in trouble,” Her voice had broken, trying desperately to keep herself calm and Bright from losing consciousness until the ambulance arrived.

“Detective Powell? Mr. Bright’s asking for you,” a nurse’s voice pulled her away from the disaster of the day as she was lead down the emergency room hallway.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani walked into the hospital room seeing her partner sitting on the end of the bed, grimacing as he tried to slip on a fresh ivory dress shirt without disturbing the heavily bandaged wound on his side. 

She wasn’t trying to ogle him but it was hard not to notice how well-built he was. Bright was slim but strong looking. His chest and stomach both nicely defined. Dani wondered what it would feel like beneath her hands. She wondered if his skin would be as smooth as it looked. 

Dani also remembered touching him accidentally many months ago. She hadn’t even meant to, she’d only been trying to remove the wire taped to his chest but Bright had flinched away from her. Back then, she didn’t think much about it. She’d just thought it was Bright being Bright–another one of his many quirks. But maybe he wouldn’t actually _want_ her to touch him.

She mentally straightened her shoulders as that wasn’t important considering he'd just gotten shot.

“Are you having some trouble?” Dani asked, making her way over to him. Watching her partner struggle with something as simple as trying to fix his own collar. “Can I help you?”

Malcolm looked up, he didn’t know what to say to Dani. So many thoughts ran through his head at the sight of his partner. He knew he had to say something to explain what happened at the warehouse. 

“Yeah…that would be great,” he replied softly, remembering how they both said those exact words to each other, the very first time she brought him home and helped him into his restraints, reassuring him it wasn’t the weirdest thing she’d ever seen.

That night, he knew there was something different about Dani Powell. He wondered what might’ve happened if he’d kept that warm feeling with him–that feeling that told him despite _everything_ that he was accepted. He wondered what might’ve happened if he hadn't thrown that feeling away. 

Looking down, watching Dani’s elegant, slender ring covered fingers deftly button his shirt, Malcolm tried not to focus on just how intimate this felt. How close she was to him. Close enough to catch the coconut and mango tones of her soap. A smell that reminded him of every summer vacation he’d never taken. Something he’d imagine heaven to smell like. Something that comforted him.

“So do you wanna tell me why you did that?” Dani murmured as she continued to button his shirt.

“I–I couldn’t just stand by and watch him shoot you.” Malcolm blurted out and he knew it was the wrong answer by the flattening of Dani’s full lips. 

“Bright–"

“I know but I _couldn’t._ I didn’t think, I just reacted. I mean, if it’s between your life and mine–I’d chose yours every time,” Malcolm looked up at her. He didn’t know how much of his heart he was allowing to slip into his words. 

When Malcolm saw that guy aiming his gun at his partner, he did what he felt he had to. He didn’t care that she had a vest. Dani had told him that he needed to stop lying and here he was telling the truth.

“That’s not your call to make.” Malcolm could see by the flexing of Dani’s jaw and the tightness of her expression that she only saw him being reckless. Him putting his body–his life on the line–because that was what he always did. She didn’t know what he was saying–he didn’t really know what he was saying. All he knew what that he’d die before he let anything happen to her.

“Dani, you have someone who needs you–someone who depends on you. _I don’t_.”

She sighed as she _hated_ when Bright did this. She _hated_ when he tried to throw himself away even if his intentions were good. She hated how just as easily as he was here, solid and present in front of her, he could be gone, leaving her with just the memories of what would’ve been.

“…And what would I do without you?” Bright said quietly, those ghostly blue eyes that saw everything and all too much looking right _through_ her. Something that would’ve been disconcerting if it didn’t ignite a sort of fireplace warmth that spread through her entire being at such an admission.

She just looked at him as he looked at her. She didn’t have an answer to his question. He’d never been so open about needing her in his life. She didn’t think he did as it had been so easy for him to disregard–to forget about her–but with Bright, she’d learned from the start that nothing was ever easy.

Dani didn’t even know if words would even suffice if she _did_ answer him. She lightly placed her hands on Bright’s shoulders before gently cupping his face, tilting it upward. Slowly leaning in, she _kissed_ him–softly, sweetly. Only the slightest pressure from her lips to his. 

Dani wanted to show Bright what his words–his honesty–meant to her. Completely unlike herself and just like him she just reacted and she didn’t know if she should’ve. 

She didn’t know if just like in the morgue she’d gotten her signals crossed especially as she pulled back, seeing Bright’s incredibly long eyelashes–the longest she’d ever seen on a man–flutter against the tops of his cheekbones, gazing up at her dazedly.

Dani honestly didn’t know if she’d done the wrong thing until she watched Bright slowly drag his lip in between his teeth. His hands at her hips as he drew her closer, pulling her onto his lap, completely unconcerned about the bullet wound at his side.

Bright lightly trailed his fingertips over her collarbone before his hand wrapped around the side of her neck and underneath her curls as he brought her in, kissing her back. 

Her bottom lip captured between both of his as he tugged at it playfully. Dani felt his smile against her lips as he swallowed down her surprised laughter, deepening the kiss. Her hand cradled his face as his drifted beneath her black v-neck sweater, his fingers running along the ridges of her spine–a shiver running through her at the feeling of Bright’s fevered skin on hers.

“I see you two have skipped past talking,” JT’s wry voice interrupted as they both sprung apart startled and blushing as this looked _compromising_ to say the very least. 

Dani’s cheeks blazed as she prided herself on being the patron saint of restraint, but that was before she fell for a man who prided himself on having none at all.

Somehow they’d both forgotten in that moment that other things existed beyond the two of them and everything they’d left unspoken and unanswered almost since the day they met.

“You okay, bro?” JT asked with raised brows. He wouldn’t give his friends a hard time considering this had been brewing for quite sometime now. He’d noticed the day after Bright’s arrest in the conference room how Powell looked as though she couldn’t decide whether she’d wanted to kiss or kill the twisty brainiac and Bright just looked _frustrated_.

The profiler smirked with a still very red faced Powell in his lap, squeezing her hip as if to punctuate his point, “I have actually never been better.”

Powell scrambled to her feet though she remained close to Bright’s side, wrapping an arm around his neck, absently running her fingers through his hair. JT was happy for his friends but wondered how weird they’d act now as he was in no rush to witness a repeat of whatever he just walked in on.

––––––––––––––––––

“Is Bright okay, Papa?” Nomi asked as Gil opened the door to Bright’s hospital room, shifting her to one arm. Her little face as serious as her mom’s often was. 

“He’s okay, kiddo. I promise.” Gil smiled at the name Nomi had used for him since she started talking, kissing his granddaughter’s hair. She looked unconvinced as also like her mom, she wouldn’t be until she saw for herself. 

As the two of them crossed the threshold, he noticed Powell’s arm draped loosely around Bright’s neck and traces of her peachy brown lipstick on his lips. It didn’t take a detective as seasoned as he was to put all of the pieces together. Gil was happy to see the both of them finally get it together but they’d both be getting a talk on _professionalism_ as soon as they returned to work.

“Looks like you have a visitor,” Gil placed Nomi on her feet as Dani scooped her up, pressing kisses to her face the way she always did when she saw her baby at the end of the day.

“Papa said Bright’s okay,” Nomi looked up at her Mama for confirmation as she knew hospitals are where people went when they were sick or hurt. Dani smoothed the curls that had escaped from her high ponytail down before cupping her little face and kissing her once more, wanting to assuage her baby’s worry.

“He’s okay, sweetie, but he’s a little hurt so you gotta be gentle with him, okay?” Dani smiled down at her own face, watching Nomi nod seriously.

Malcolm made a face at needing gentle treatment as he reached for Dani’s daughter, holding Nomi to his chest with one arm. Her big brown eyes searched his face. “You okay?”

“You and your Mama are here. I’m perfect,” Malcolm replied softly, kissing her forehead. Nomi smiled Dani’s wide dimpled smile as she burrowed into him, seemingly comforted by his words. He glanced up at Dani, seeing something endlessly tender shining back at him.

“Are you really okay though, kid?” Though he only got grazed and this fell pretty low on the scale of Bright accidents between getting stabbed in the chest and being crushed in a turnstile, Gil still felt he had to ask.

Malcolm unconsciously tucked Nomi closer to his chest, rubbing his face into Dani's soft black sweater. He knew it was likely the medication getting to him but he began to feel his brain slow down. The thoughts that usually raced through his mind coming to an almost standstill. “I’m fine…a little tired I guess.”

“Bright! Omigod, I came as soon as I heard. Are you–" Edrisa breathlessly broke in before stopping short at the sight in front of her. Dani running her fingers through Bright’s hair, Bright nuzzling Dani’s stomach like a purring Siamese with a miniature Dani clone–black leather jacket and all–starting to fall asleep in his lap. 

“Why does that baby look like...Dani...?” Edrisa gaped at them, her cheeks reddening. Her shock still in place as she watched Dani’s fingers lightly winding through Bright’s thick chestnut hair as he slumped against her. She wondered just when Bright got comfortable with their pretty and also a little scary coworker enough to do _that_ though it looked like he’d gotten comfortable enough to do _other things_ too.

“It's 'cause I’m Mama’s baby.” Nomi chimed in proudly from Bright’s lap as though she were answering a question specifically for her. 

Dani snorted as her daughter’s timing was nothing if not impeccable. “Mystery solved,” she drawled.

Malcolm realized he should probably say something as the awkwardness in the air was practically palpable. 

He and literally everyone else was well aware of the Medical Examiner’s rather overzealous crush on him. Edrisa was probably the only one who wasn’t aware of his and Dani’s past history and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. 

“Thank you for checking on me, Edrisa but I’m fine. It was only a graze.” Malcolm said with a smile, hoping she didn’t take anything she saw the wrong way after his heavily medicated brain decided to cooperate with him. 

He unsuccessfully tried to stifle a sigh at the feeling of Dani’s blunt nails gently scraping along his scalp as that would _not_ help things, but he’d seen his partner do this to Nomi many times as her toddler lay conked out, snoring against her stomach. 

Malcolm had found it strange as he’d always thought little kids were hard to settle down but after a few minutes of this, _he_ was relaxed enough to nod off himself. That alone should’ve been impossible but he was convinced Dani had magic in her fingertips.

Edrisa nodded jerkily as she tried to untangle threads that simply wouldn’t as not a single thing she knew ended with Bright and Dani and Micro Dani. “Is that…your baby?”

“You mean Powell or the kid?” JT remarked with a quirked brow as Dani groaned, Edrisa’s eyes bugged out of her head and Nomi giggled as she sat with her cheek pressed to Bright’s uninjured side as she knew “the kid” meant her.

“Moms love me,” Bright mumbled, his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead into Dani’s sweater as her fingertips lightly brushed his temple. “…And I _love_ Moms.”

“Okay, clearly we need to let Bright get some rest,” Gil jumped in before his surrogate son could say anything else that would embarrass the room. 

However Bright and Dani had planned to let the team know that they were now an item, this probably wasn't it. 

“Thanks Gil, we owe you,” Dani sighed as JT ushered a still gaping Edrisa out of the room.

“Just keep the PDA to a minimum and we’ll call it even,” Gil replied with a twinkle in his eye.

–––––––––––––––––––

Unlocking the door to Bright’s apartment as she knew where he kept his spare key, Dani watched him shrug out of his suit coat, throwing it over one of the chairs in front of the island. She placed Nomi’s backpack and her Melody doll on his couch.

She knew how Bright reacted on other drugs besides the multitude of medication he was already prescribed and she worried about him leaving the hospital.

Bright without supervision was normally a cause for concern. Bright tripping off hospital strength painkillers was a recipe for utter disaster. 

Dani remembered the first time she brought him home and she remembered the time with the club drugs. She knew she couldn’t leave him alone.

“You want us to stay with you?” Dani asked, hitching Nomi higher on her hip as her baby squirmed in her arms trying to see over her shoulder so she could wave at Sunshine.

“ _You want to?_ ” Bright gasped, his pale eyes cartoonishly wide. The painkillers had successfully taken over.

“Yeah, Mimi has extra clothes in her bag,” Dani nodded with a smile as she couldn’t help but find her partner adorable when he got like this. It was a sort of innocence she saw flashes of when he was stone sober. 

“And _I_ have clothes _you_ can wear.” Bright replied, biting his lip, giddy at the thought that he could lend her clothes. 

Before she could answer him, Bright gasped suddenly. “Dani! My side was hurting and I felt super tired but now, _I feel amazing!_ ” His smile entirely made of dimples as the manic light in his pale eyes intensified.

 _Nonononono_. Dani had definitely been here before. She was exhausted from today, her daughter was here and she could _not_ deal with offers for axe throwing and bathroom freak-outs.

“Bright, you’re gonna let me fix you something to eat and then you’re gonna go to sleep.” Dani used the same voice she used on Nomi when Mama _wasn’t_ looking to negotiate.

Bright perked up, “Ooh…let’s make… _crumble_.” 

“No, grilled cheese. Why are we doing this again?” Dani said more to herself as she set Nomi on her feet who took all of five seconds to kick off her little Nubuck Timberland boots. Attending to her most consistent job; picking up shoes, Dani hoped she’d be able to contain Bright better than she had the last time those words were spoken. 

“We gotta listen to Mama,” Nomi said tapping on his leg insistently.

Bright looked down into Nomi’s wide eyes as if seeing her for the first time. Absolute _delight_ swept over his features, his smile living up to his surname giving her the strongest urge to shield her eyes as he looked back up at her. “A baby! Dani! _You have a baby!_ ”

Dani nodded, trying not to laugh as Bright’s brows furrowed and his lips drew into a pout. “That’s not fair. _I_ want a baby.”

At that Dani couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her chest as she cracked up in earnest. “You can share mine.”

“ _Really?_ ” Bright breathed in astonishment. 

“Yes!” Nomi replied with her same perfect timing from the hospital as she dissolved into giggles. “Mama’s baby and Bright’s baby!” 

Dani snorted as Bright lit up, looking as though that was the best news he’d heard all year. That same look he usually got when Gil gave him a fresh homicide to investigate. 

He excitedly went to lift Nomi into his arms, forgetting all about the wound on his side. Dani swooped in, practically running to Bright before he could accidentally drop her child. 

Scooping Nomi up with one arm while her other wrapped around Bright’s waist, Dani tried to walk him over to the bed. She needed him safely out of the way and out of trouble. Bright happily kissed the top of her head, “Your hair smells good. _You_ smell good.”

“Mama smells like gummy bears,” Nomi agreed, grabbing a handful of Dani’s curls, bringing them to her nose before she buried her face in the cook of her Mama’s neck. Dani laughed as Nomi for reasons unknown continued to sniff her.

“ _She does_ ,” Bright sighed into her hair, inhaling deeply as Dani realized after awhile that she’d be looking after two babies tonight. 

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani watched as Bright flopped down on the bed, once again forgetting about his side. He groaned, clutching his side like a wounded soldier in a war movie. 

Nomi scrambled out of her arms, crawling over to him. 

“Mama, Bright’s tummy hurts.” Her baby looked up, fully expecting her to help him. Dani didn’t know how to explain to her that Bright had a gunshot wound and not a stomachache.

“Mama always rubs my tummy when it hurts,” Nomi informed Bright matter-of-factly. 

“ _Mama…_ ” Bright whined pitifully as he turned his attention to her, wanting that same treatment Dani gave to her three year old. Dani shook her head, unable to completely hide her smile at Bright and his theatrics.

“Actually, I’m gonna make us some food. I think that will make all of us feel better. Mimi, can you look after Bright and make sure he’s being good?”

“I can watch him, Mama,” Nomi nodded gravely as she scooted closer to Bright. Her baby taking her job literally, getting inches from her partner’s face making him laugh as he lightly brushed back those short curls that never seemed to lay down around her hairline.

“My good girl,” Dani smiled as she kissed the top of her head before dashing off to fix the sandwiches–assuming Bright even had bread and cheese to make them.

As she sliced that Jarlsberg, Bright had screamed at her about once upon a time, Dani looked up hearing Nomi’s incredibly high pitched voice and Bright’s happy laughter. Her little one singing “the sleepy song” that the caregivers at daycare sang to the children at nap time as she sat on Bright’s chest, clapping his hands together.

Dani knew that couldn’t be good for his stitches but she didn’t have the heart to say anything about it, especially since the two of them looked so carefree in this moment.

“But what if I’m not sleepy?” Bright stage whispered to her with mock-seriousness.

“You have to try,” Nomi whispered back sternly before she leaned in, the two of them nose to nose. “That’s what Mama says.” 

Dani smiled as she’d never imagined a type of softness that could wrap her up like the warmest winter coat in the midst of a New York City winter.

She’d never imagined _this_. Her life had always been one of hard choices–of either/or. She’d never imagined a life that could be both/and but this was it and when her heart clenched, it wasn’t painful at all.

–––––––––––––––

Malcolm turned on his back, awakened by the sun streaming in through his window, wondering why his brain felt so foggy and his body ached. Also why he was still in his work clothes from yesterday.

He’d realized after some time that he’d gotten shot yesterday and he certainly felt like it today. He also realized after some time that he’d kissed Dani yesterday. 

Actually _Dani_ had kissed _him_. She’d done what he’d been dreaming about almost since the day they’d met that half heartbeat she pressed her pillowy soft lips to his.

Malcolm hadn’t been thinking clearly, he hadn’t been thinking about anything other that the fact that he’d wanted–he'd _needed_ –more when he kissed her back. He didn’t care that his side was killing him, he just wanted her breath in his lungs.

Kissing Dani had been better than anything he could’ve imagined. Well, almost anything as Malcolm had desperately wished that he wasn’t injured–that they weren’t in a hospital room. The urge to _know_ and _be known_ in return as strong as anything he’d ever felt. 

His feelings for his partner had always been intense and unwieldy in its magnitude–a fire that would engulf him if he got too close. Yesterday with his fingers drifting over her bare skin, Malcolm didn’t care if he burned or not. If fact, he’d wanted nothing more.

He shook his head as daydreaming only made him miss her more. He got out of bed, trying to shake the heaviness out of his bones. Malcolm hoped a hot shower would make him feel at least a little more human.

Heading to the bathroom, Malcolm pulled up, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of Dani on his couch, knocked out with Nomi hugged close to her chest–their uncanny resemblance even more apparent in sleep. The two of them cuddled up underneath the pink Melody blanket that came with the doll he’d sent Nomi. 

He didn’t know how to describe the feeling that spread through his chest at the fact that Dani stayed with him when she didn’t have to. She had far bigger responsibilities than him but she stayed with him anyway. More than that, she felt safe enough to allow her daughter to stay with him too. 

_She trusts me._ The thought came unbidden but it was true all the same. Malcolm knew Dani would never put Nomi in harm’s way and after the other morning he doubted if Dani believed that he wouldn’t either but she did. 

This was the type of trust Malcolm never thought he’d get back after lying and hurting her but he did and this time, he wouldn’t squander it.

––––––––––––––––

Dani awakened to Maxwell’s velvety croon flowing from Bright’s speakers. She sat up slowly, careful not to disturb a still softly snoring Nomi who’d stayed up long past bedtime babysitting Bright.

She inhaled as the whole apartment smelled amazing, turning her attention toward the kitchen to find Bright behind the island, his nose buried in whatever Gil had likely sent to his phone.

In his crisp white dress shirt and skinny slate and navy blue checked tie with nary a chestnut hair out of place, Bright looked as pristine as ever. Definitely not like someone who’d taken a bullet less than 24 hours prior. 

Scooting off the couch, bringing Melody closer to Nomi who unconsciously cuddled her new friend closer, Dani snuck down the hall to the bathroom to wash up and try to tame curls that she was sure resembled a bird’s nest.

“Morning,” Malcolm looked up, smiling as Dani took a seat at the island. He wondered how it was possible that she looked this pretty first thing in the morning, makeup less and her curls going in every direction, reminding him of a lion’s mane. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than at a counter,” Dani smirked, riffing on the words she spoke to him the last time she slept over. 

“You’ll make it to the bed eventually,” Malcolm’s eyes widened as Dani’s brows raised the moment those words left his mouth, a blush heating his cheeks. “I–I…that’s not what I meant.”

Dani laughed as that blush migrated to his ears, her eyes forming those little crescents Malcolm loved so much. He just wish he didn’t see them because he was making an ass of himself.

“I get it. Something smells good though.” Dani smiled, mercifully throwing him a lifeline as she rested her chin on her hands, her curls spilling over her thin shoulders.

“I thought maybe we could have a redo on breakfast from the other day and I also wanted to thank you for taking care of me. I know, I was probably…a handful…” Malcolm admitted a bit sheepishly as a pushed a plate of blueberry pancakes toward her.

“My three year old was better than my 30 year old.” Dani grinned, amusement evident in her dark eyes.

Malcolm groaned, taking a sip of coffee. “Just how embarrassing was I last night?” He wasn’t sure he actually wanted the answer to that question.

“Well, you told me you wanted a baby,” Dani smirked.

Malcolm choked, feeling the color drain from his face. “ _I did not say that._ ”

“You did,” Dani informed him gleefully as she forked the stack he’d placed in front her. “Right before you whined for me to rub your tummy.”

Dani was now outright cackling at him, her head thrown back as her laughter erupted from deep within. The sight was breathtaking but that time he’d night terror-ed himself out of the window, Malcolm really wished he could do that again– _right now_. 

“I’m an idiot,” Malcolm sighed as Dani’s giggles subsided. He knew that had been the painkillers talking but he wondered what was it about his partner that made him act like a complete fool every chance he got.

“A cute one,” Dani replied, not disagreeing with him.

“Wait, you think I’m cute?” Malcolm tilted his head, smirking at her over the rim of his coffee mug.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” his partner mirrored his expression, smirking right back at him as she poured more Mike’s Hot Honey over her pancakes–something he’d gotten specifically because he knew Dani was obsessed with it.

“Too late.”

–––––––––––––––––

“Uh…hopefully, this makes up for whatever I put you through last night.” Malcolm motioned to the two turquoise bags he’d just presented her with. Malcolm had been holding onto these gifts since Dani had first agreed to give him a second chance. He’d been waiting for the right moment and he figured this was as good as any.

Dani’s eyes widened seeing the words _Tiffany & Co_. stamped on the bags. She noticed Bright fidgeting with the cuffs of his white dress shirt, a telltale sign of his nerves.

She reached into the smaller bag, pulling out a long, slender box the same turquoise color as the bag. She lifted the lid, finding an insanely beautiful necklace. Her fingertip carefully traced the small diamond pendant attached to an impossibly delicate sliver chain.

It was easily the nicest thing anyone had ever gotten her and Dani had no idea what she’d done to deserve it.

“Um…I got this for Nomi too.” Malcolm handed her a larger box, his nerves beginning to run away from him as he couldn’t gauge Dani’s reaction. He knew Dani liked jewelry, mostly delicate, feminine pieces judging from her many rings and the gold necklace she wore often. 

His intent wasn’t to try and buy his way out of probation, he just thought she might like something from him.

Dani opened the box, pulling out an adorable teddy bear with the signature silver Tiffany heart on its chest. It was _really_ lovely and she couldn’t believe Bright bought her daughter something like this too as she stared at the extravagant plush.

“Bright, we…we can’t accept this. It’s too much.” These aren’t the type of gifts you give someone you’ve only been with a little over a month. These were Christmas gifts or Valentines gifts. She didn’t know what this meant.

Malcolm shook his head. He didn’t agree. He just wanted to show his appreciation for both of them. They didn’t have to include him in their lives the way they did and he wanted to show he didn’t take that lightly. “No, it isn’t. After everything you’ve done for me…after giving me a second chance and letting me not only into your life but your amazing daughter’s life as well...it’s the very least I could do.”

Dani saw Bright’s sincerity, the deep longing in his ice clear eyes to just do something _good_ , “Thank you…I’m sure Mimi will love it.” She said, placing the bear back in the box for when Nomi woke up.

“You mind if I…?” Malcolm asked as he reached for the necklace, offering to put it on for her as he came from around the island. Dani stood turning her back to him. Malcolm gently brushed her curls to one side, inhaling that peach candy scent as he clasped the necklace. 

Dani turned slightly, looking up at him–those lights blinding him as he lightly traced the chain resting over her collarbone watching as gooseflesh rose over her skin in real time as he touched her. 

“Perfect,” Malcolm murmured, holding her gaze and not at all talking about the necklace. 

Dani’s lips parted ever so slightly as her eyes dropped to his lips. Needing no other invitation, he gently reached over her shoulder, tilting her face toward him as he kissed her slowly–imploringly–enough to draw those little sounds from the back of her throat that drove him insane.

Dani tipped her head back, gazing at him with eyes half lidded. Both tenderness and desire reflecting back at him as she blinked slowly. 

No matter how many times Malcolm imagined kissing his partner, nothing could ever come close to the reality. Now that he could kiss Dani in earnest and without fear, he knew he’d never want to stop as he leaned in, stealing another. 

Suddenly feeling a little tap at his knee, Malcolm broke away from Dani who followed his eyes, the sweetest smile spreading over her pretty face. He felt himself smile too as he looked down into those starry owl eyes that were as dark as the night sky and just as beautiful. The tiniest baby lion with her wild morning curls just like her Mama’s.

“Me too,” Nomi said with her little arms raised expectantly, wiggling her fingers.

“You want a kiss too?” Malcolm asked as his heart had _never_ felt this full.

Nomi giggled and nodded as he lifted her into his arms, completely ignoring the sharp pang at his side–his bullet wound reminding him of its presence. 

Malcolm kissed Nomi’s temple as Dani gently smoothed down her daughter’s unruly curls, the little girl sandwiched in between them as she rested her head on his shoulder. The three of them enveloped in everything warm, secure and just… _right_.

This was what _normal_ looked like. This was what _happy_ felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is ridiculously long but I hope it serves as a bridge for the next "part" of the story. The song referenced in this chapter is "Ascension" by Maxwell


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain adult content so if that isn't something you're into, please proceed with caution.

“Bright!”

Dani had given him a key because movie nights were happening more frequently at her place. Malcolm loved spending time with her and Nomi in their home and he didn’t want to risk another one of his mother’s random pop-ups at his place, though he was already in the process of getting the code to his building reset and the locks had already been changed.

Nomi jumped into Malcolm’s arms almost as soon as he let himself into Dani’s apartment, already dressed in her jammies; little gray and pink pajamas, her curls free from the neat ponytail or braid Dani had likely styled it in. The incredibly sweet toddler wrapping an arm around his neck while trying to hold onto Melody–her constant companion as her starry dark brown owl eyes formed those little crescents, meeting her dimpled apple cheeks as she smiled at him.

Despite this always being Nomi’s greeting, it was still a bit unusual to see someone so happy to see _him_. Malcolm had far more experience being tolerated as opposed to wanted and though he could honestly say he was getting better, it still took some getting used to. 

Truly, he’d had never really imagined anything like this but it undoubtably made his day every time.

“Mimi!” Malcolm laughed, just as happy to see his favorite little person as he hugged her to his chest tightly.

“Mama’s cooking,” Nomi stated matter of factly as she rested her head on his shoulder the way she always did. “Her food is _the best_.” 

Malcolm could honestly believe that as the apartment smelled amazing and food smells didn’t usually–or at all–excite him. He didn’t even realize that Dani cooked.

Looking up, Dani ignored that now familiar flutter that went though her chest each time she saw her partner with her daughter in his arms.

Bright once again in his requested “jammies” slim black joggers and faded FBI shirt. Even in clothes that were much more lowkey than what he usually wore, her partner still looked as though he stepped out of the pages of _Esquire._

Despite that, Bright looked _soft_. His chestnut hair falling in his eyes, different that how it normally was, slicked back to perfection. A smile Dani felt from the inside, spread across her face as Nomi being helpful pushed the longish strands that obscured Bright’s vision over his ear. 

Bright scrunched his nose at her, his smile entirely dimples as her daughter grinned back at him. Nomi rubbing her little face on his with Bright laughing, clearly delighted as he kissed her baby’s temple. 

Even when she and her partner were growing closer, when he confessed why he couldn’t stop, why he was so driven to keep going–keep solving murders. When he asked her to visit his father with him, Dani still couldn’t imagine sharing this part of her life with him. 

She didn’t think he had room in his heart for _her_ let alone for her child but seeing Nomi be her entirely lovable self around him and Bright soaking up every bit of her baby’s affection and returning it twofold, he’d surprised her just as he often did.

“You wouldn’t say that if _Nonna_ or _Gran Gran_ were here,” Dani teased as Malcolm with Nomi walked into the kitchen. His partner with her curls piled on top of her head, loose tendrils framing her pretty face as she appeared to be mixing what looked like a tomato salad. 

The more time Malcolm spent with them, the more he got to see other sides of Dani he wasn’t even aware existed. This one, her cooking with her messy top knot and in an oversized NYPD shirt he found ridiculously cute. 

It was the same thing he thought each time he saw her like this but it honestly should’ve been impossible for someone to look so _good_ without trying. Malcolm wondered if she were even aware of it. 

He knew _Dani_ knew she was a beautiful woman but he wondered if she knew just her with bare feet, bare legs, a bare face was enough to knock the air out a man’s chest– _his_ chest in particular.

Noni giggled, tucking her head under his neck, her soft coconut oil scented nearly black curls tickling his nose. “I loooove you, Mama.”

Dani laughed as she poured whatever was on the stove over the tomatoes, “Now you’re trying to butter me up…and it’s working.” She blew a kiss to the three year old who happily “caught” it in her little hand before blowing her Mama one in return.

Malcolm couldn’t help the warmth that spread through him, witnessing Dani and Nomi’s adorably loving banter. 

He’d always known his partner to be serious and he admired that about her. He admired her focus and determination to do everything that needed to be done for victims, for their families and for justice. But he admired this even more. He admired how easily loving her daughter came to her. Now natural it was, especially since he knew from experience that this sort of thing wasn’t natural to everyone.

Though Malcolm loved seeing Dani as his partner, someone he could turn to while in the field, knowing all it took was a _look_ for her to understand him. He _loved_ this even more. He loved her deep dimpled smiles, her bubbly laughter and the tender affection shining through her dark eyes each moment he witnessed her spending with her daughter.

He could honestly see where all the love Nomi felt and was willing to give to others came from. It came from _Dani_. He didn’t realize how much of these behaviors were learned until he saw it in practice.

Dani and Nomi together was so incredibly different from anything he’d ever known. Malcolm couldn’t imagine such an exchange happening between himself and his mother–even at Nomi’s age. He couldn’t even imagine his mother sharing a moment like this with Ainsley.

“Go wash up, sweetie, it’s almost time to eat.” Dani smiled as Nomi who wriggled out of his arms, ambled away to the bathroom with Melody in tow doing just as her Mama said.

“I can’t believe you cook–for fun it seems.” 

Dani grinned as she sprinkled in what he would assume were herbs to her tomatoes, “People do.”

Malcolm took a seat at the island still fascinated at the idea that Dani cooked. “Yeah, in theory but no one I’ve ever known.”

Dani grinned at her partner’s obvious mystification at something so mundane as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel, letting the flavors of the quick herb dressing she’d whipped up, infuse into the bowl of heirloom tomatoes for a bit, “It just takes my mind off things. You know what we do…it follows you home sometimes and cooking, using my hands and turning my brain off…it helps. Does that sound like the most mom thing ever?” 

Bright tilted his head, looking thoughtful for a moment. “Not really as my mother has never cooked anything a day in her life and if she did…it’d be an act of terror,” Dani snorted at her partner’s obvious cringe.

“Besides food is kinda in my blood. I mean, I’m Italian and–"

“Haitian,” Bright finished for her, not seeming to mind that she’d been waxing poetic about food. It was still a little strange talking to him about something that had nothing to do with murder or his family problems or some combination of the two.

“How’d you know?” Dani quirked a brow as she’d never told him anything like that.

Bright smiled as he rested his chin on his hands, leaning his elbows on the counter, “The case we worked together. The Haitian cartel. I figured you probably wouldn’t have been able to blend in so well if you didn’t know the culture. You wouldn’t know it if you hadn’t grown up with it.”

“I thought I told you not to profile me.” Dani narrowed her eyes though she couldn’t help but be a little impressed as that was shockingly observant and she didn’t even realize that Bright had thought enough about her to even put all that together. 

Back then, she'd thought Bright had only followed her to Estime’s club to satisfy his morbid curiosity as he hated to be left out of anything murder related but perhaps she’d been wrong. Maybe it had been less about the murder and more about _her._

“You did but as you know, I pay _very_ close attention.” Malcolm smirked as his voice deepened a bit. That sound doing _something_ to her as Bright being charming was not something Dani had a ton of experience with and she wasn’t sure she appreciated just how much she reacted to it. It wasn’t unlike the way she’d reacted when she kissed him back in the hospital and in his kitchen that morning.

–––––––––––––––

“My mom and grandma taught me how to cook but it’s not really about cooking for us. Food isn’t just food. It’s a way for us to come together and enjoy other’s company too. Sharing a meal, it’s an expression of love. Does that make sense?” Dani asked as she reached for plates out of her cabinet after Bright had curiously inquired about family dinner at her house–the way it had been for her growing up.

“Not in the slightest, “ Malcolm answered honestly as the weekly family dinner he was made to attend had never once been an expression of love. It had only ever been a way for his mother to pry into his and Ainsley’s life on her turf and on her terms. It kept her in their circle and them in hers. 

“Well, hopefully eating with us will change that. You _will_ eat, right? I’ve noticed how every time we have takeout with our movie nights you never eat.”

“Most food makes me sick.” Malcolm shrugged as very few things he could eat without immediately feeling terrible after if he even bothered to eat at all.

“You mentioned that on the first day we met. I think JT thought you were lowkey Hannibal Lector.” Dani grinned as she scooped the incredibly fragrant tomatoes onto a plate.

Malcolm snorted, “While I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere…the truth is that ever since that night my father got arrested, I kinda stopped functioning normally. I stopped talking for awhile and eating too, only I haven’t really restarted that. I think the medication has something to do with it.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Malcolm realized that he’d never actually shared any of this–like this with someone before. No one he’d ever been with had ever really cared if he ate or not and normally, he was in no hurry to remind anyone he was seeing just how not normal he was. He didn’t like to remind them of the trauma he’d lived through that still lived in him. 

Looking at Dani’s deep dark eyes, Malcolm was reminded of that day she reassured him that he didn’t need fixing. All he saw was concern, not judgement or pity. 

“But I mean you can at least try to eat a little, maybe? I know not eating and taking medicine is probably awful and maybe eating something prepared by my _loving_ hands might do you some good,” She smiled encouragingly as he blushed a bit, glancing down.

Malcolm knew what Dani was doing, it was what they did when things got too heavy. They made little jokes to make each other feel better. It was a thing he had with no one else other than her.

That said, Malcolm had never really thought of food in a loving way. He thought of food as just something he needed to keep himself alive. He’d forgotten what it was like to actually enjoy it. The food at his mother’s usually oscillated between being so rich it made him feel ill and so dry it wasn't worth the effort of actually swallowing. Though his mother had a personal gourmet chef, the aroma permeating Dani’s apartment was far better than anything that had ever been at the Manor.

“Also if you don’t like it, it’s fine. You’re not hurting my feelings,” Dani smiled, that feeling of acceptance despite everything intensifying as she continued to dish out food onto three plates. “But we’re keeping it simple. Pan seared salmon on medium glazed with ginger cilantro salsa verdé and an heirloom tomato salad.”

Dani hoped her partner would at least eat something with them. It wasn’t that he _had_ to like her cooking it was just that she hoped it might make him feel better. 

There was a reason why she felt like she’d always understood someone who by all accounts was incomprehensible, especially someone who’d lived a completely different life than she had. Dani was someone who hadn’t always loved herself either–someone who hadn’t always been kind to herself. 

It took the love of a very special little girl–a love Dani felt the moment her body had become that little girl’s home–to show her how. Food was a way she extended that love and kindness to herself. It was in the ingredients, the time and preparation it took to create something she knew would help her and her daughter feel good and feeling good made all of the difference.

It made a difference being kind to yourself and she hoped that in this small way, her partner would see that.

“That’s simple?” Malcolm asked with raised brows as it certainly didn’t sound like it as all of the new flavors sounded at once enticing and off-putting.

“Simple enough and while I am not rubbing your tummy, I can guarantee this will make you feel like I am,” Dani smirked. His partner calling back to his supremely embarrassing antics while high on painkillers last week.

“Can we just not bring that up again _ever?_ ” Malcolm groaned, a flush finding its way up his neck and to his ears as he still couldn't believe he’d said something like that even high.

“I make no promises, “ Dani replied cheekily, those lights he loved and could never believe were truly for him shining though her dark eyes.

“But still, you’re gonna feed this to a three year old?”

“Yes because Nomi’s a good girl.” 

“The best girl, right Mama?” The pitter patter of Nomi’s sockless little feet announcing her re-entrance into the kitchen before she did as she hugged Dani’s knees, looking up at her with Dani’s own dimpled smile.

“The _very_ best girl,” Dani cooed, hoisting her baby up onto her hip. Nomi lifting her little chin for a kiss her mother happily leaned down to give her, Dani softly nuzzling her forehead against Nomi’s. His partner giggling as her daughter playfully tugged on one of the springy curls that had fallen out of her Mama’s top knot before bringing it to her nose in an adorably kitten-like gesture.

Malcolm smiled taking in the two most magical humans he’d ever known, doing nothing but what he knew they always had–loving each other. 

Two people who shined just a little bit more light into that place that had always been filled with darkness–with despair and hopelessness and he felt nothing but _gratitude_. He was grateful to be included in this and even more grateful to know something like this existed.

––––––––––––––––

Fluffing her hair for what was probably the thousandth time, Dani gazed at herself in the mirror. She’d straightened and then wand-curled her hair, giving it maximum volume. It was wilder than she usually wore it but she was going on a date–with her partner.

Bright had asked her what she and Nomi were up to for the weekend as work had slowed down except for that same case that continued to nag at her–the Endicott case. She’d told him that she had some rare free time. 

“Why don’t I take you out?” Bright had asked suddenly, tilting his head in that way of his, she’d continued to find adorable.

Dani had just blinked at him as she wasn’t expecting him to ask her out like that. They were dating technically, but nothing about anything that had happened to them thus far was like how people normally dated. They spent time at each other’s apartments watching children’s movies. 

She’d been caught off guard at the idea that he wanted to actually take her out on a date.

Nomi was staying with her mom for the weekend as she sometimes did as _Nonna_ loved spending time with her littlest one and she had from the very first moment her mom got the chance to hold her daughter. 

As guilty as Dani had felt for going against everything her _Mamma_ had instilled in her growing up, _Mamma_ had never once looked at Nomi as a mistake. Her baby had always gotten nothing but kisses, cuddles and those tight hugs that smelled like pink Dove soap. The type of hugs that made everything feel like nothing would ever be wrong again.

Her mother’s amber eyes had lit up when she dropped Nomi off at her home in Long Island, saying she had to get back to Manhattan to get ready for a date. _Mamma_ knew her life was Nomi and then it was work. 

“You deserve to be happy too, _stellina,_ ” her mom had said not too long ago, using the Italian nickname for “little star” that she had ever since Dani was four years old as they both sat on her couch, sharing a blanket, drinking Earl Grey after Nomi had been tucked in for the night. Before she could protest and claim that she was happy, her mom had interjected, “You deserve to be _made_ happy.”

Dani had thought about that because she’d put so much into carving out this little pocket of happiness for her and her daughter, she didn’t think much about allowing someone else into it. 

She’d told her mom about Bright. 

Dani told her everything but _Mamma_ who would never judge anyone, only told her that if her partner made her happy and if he had big enough shoulders to not only carry her when she needed it but her daughter too, then she should give him another chance to at the very least prove he could do that and that’s what she ended up doing.

––––––––––––––––––

That said, she was stressing more than a little over this date.

_What if it doesn’t go well?_

It was _Bright_ and being around him from the beginning had always been the most natural thing she’d ever felt with someone, but what if he realized that actually dating her like normal people their age did wasn’t something he wanted.

After all, when Dani thought Bright would want to, when he promised her in the morgue that he’d do better. He didn’t. He immediately went to dating someone else who wasn’t her. What if there was something about her that wasn’t _datable?_ What if she was too much of a cop? Too much of a mom?

She was both–intrinsically so. She was the type of girl who knew more about the different ways to incapacitate a person all without the use of her hands and the type of girl who’d seen every Disney movie in existence, definitely not the type of girl who’d have tea parties with his mother. 

What if after tonight was all said and done, Bright decided the latter was what he liked best. After all, he’d done that before. 

Bright really had done better. He’d done much better than Dani had even thought him capable of, but she still wondered what it was about her that made him dismiss the kindness and the care she showed him in favor of she honestly didn’t know what.

She wasn’t the insecure type, but all of that had stayed with her because her heart was involved and that didn’t happen often. Her heart had always been involved only this time, it was more than that because it was more than just _feelings_ she had for her partner. It was so much more.

Dani looked at herself once more in the mirror as she reapplied her one of her favorite lipsticks, a golden taupe tone from M.A.C that she paired with a dark brown lip liner. The ombré look also different than what she what she usually wore. 

As jumpy as she felt, Dani could honest say that she looked _good_ despite all the anxious thoughts that had been swirling around in her head since she’d started getting ready.

Tonight, Dani didn’t look much like a mom or a cop. She’d selected a dark brown leather midi dress from the back of her closet, a dress she had hanging in her closet long before picking up shoes became her most consistent job. It was the sort of dress that made her look more confident than she felt at the moment.

She took a deep breath as she was letting her anxious thoughts snowball, carrying her with them–again. She remembered feeling similarly coming out of the dressing room that night they had to crash the Taylor wedding and that had been before things got complicated.

Her _Mamma_ always said that back then distracted from the here and now and there was no use comparing herself to a dead girl. 

_He liked that dead girl more than he liked you_ , a cruel voice whispered in her mind–a voice she hated.

Dani brushed off the thought as she refused to give credence to it. She wouldn’t go back to those doubts that had only left her with the persistent question: _why?_

––––––––––––––––––

“Dani?” Malcolm called, letting himself into Dani’s apartment, something that was starting to feel more and more familiar after knowing her for nearly a year without even knowing where she lived.

“I’m ready, just let me get my coat,” Dani emerged from the bedroom, her stiletto heels clacking on the hardwood and his mind going entirely blank and his heart actually _fluttering_ at the sight of her. 

Malcolm’s eyes slowly drank in Dani’s voluminous dark curls, teased up and artfully chaotic. His partner in a spaghetti strap chocolate brown leather dress that looked amazing with her olive complexion, cut low in the front and fell to her calves, hugging her incredibly well-placed curves and fitting her like a second skin. 

He’d seen her in a dress before–that sparkling blood red evening gown–and he’d been stunned. That said, there was an incredible difference between that dress and _this one_. This was the sort of dress he imagined on his floor. 

Malcolm knew Dani would look good as she always did but he honestly hadn’t expected lionlike, touchable curls and skintight leather for their date. He couldn’t imagine that she’d dress like this for a date with _him._

Suddenly the memory of their kiss in the hospital and that awareness of her returned even stronger than it had then.

As Dani looked up at him through her long dark lashes, that same demure little smile that had absolutely ruined him the first time he saw it, Malcolm realized that he was doing nothing but staring at her–staring as though if he looked away for a moment, he might miss something.

“Wow…you look incredible,” he replied finally once his brain was able to resume some semblance of function, still eyeing her up shamelessly. 

He’d been with other girls, all of them varying degrees of attractive but then there was his partner. A girl in a league of her own and completely out of his. Something that had never been lost on him. If it had, he probably would’ve never been so insecure with her from the beginning.

Looking at his partner in her little dress, Dani was the type of woman he’d only ever admired from afar and somehow Malcolm couldn’t believe he’d actually made it to being with her.

“You clean up pretty well, considering I only see you in jammies after hours,” Dani grinned as he helped her into a black peacoat.

“Thanks,” Malcolm replied, still entirely distracted by just _her_ , noticing the subtle iridescent shimmer dusting her shoulders and chest and how her skin smelled faintly of coffee. “You’ve given me many wonderful nights in, I thought you deserved a night out.”

Malcolm tried to refocus as he didn’t want to give Dani the wrong idea or make her think he’d asked her out on this date with certain _expectations_ in mind but it took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to wrap his arms around her from behind, bury his face in her neck in his need to discover if her skin tasted as good as it smelled. 

He blinked away that intrusive curiosity. Being impulsive and not waiting wasn’t something he wanted with Dani.

He didn’t want to undo the trust she’d only just restored to him and he wasn’t trying to rush her into anything she wasn’t comfortable with. He wanted to do this the right away–not the way he’d always done things.

But more than anything, Malcolm wanted to show Dani that he’d changed–that he wasn’t the way he used to be. 

He’d learned the incredibly hard way that he couldn’t force a connection that wasn’t there and he couldn’t will away a connection that was. The connection that was there, he was ready to cultivate it even if things weren’t as immediate as he wanted–as he was used to. He didn’t want to be the lab rat anymore.

This time, he wasn’t interested in fast or easy.

––––––––––––––––

Dani didn’t know where Bright had planned to take her on their date but she wasn’t quite expecting this as he lightly rested his hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the dining room of well-heeled patrons toward their table in a cozy section of the restaurant with a gorgeous view of the waterfront.

Her partner had selected a restaurant in Kips Bay near the East River that was clearly posh but incredibly charming with all of its greenery and glass, giving it a feel that was distinctly modern and nothing like where she’d imagine he spent his Sundays brunching with his mother.

Looking at the menu filled with all sorts of things that were denoted as “farm raised” or “sustainably sourced” with the type of fresh ingredients she liked to use at home, she realized that Bright had selected this particular restaurant for more than just the ambiance–he’d been paying attention just as he’d told her he did.

It was a small thing but it meant a lot as up until very recently Dani hadn’t known Bright to do that–not to her. 

“So how exactly did you get a free weekend?” Bright asked leaning in a bit, his pale eyes alight with curiosity. She quirked a brow at him taking her somewhere this nice yet completely ignoring the menu.

“My mom likes to hang out with Nomi pretty regularly and _Nonna’s_ cooking is much better than Mama’s so of course, she loves it.” Dani knew that right now Nomi was being happily stuffed with her mom’s homemade lasagne with bacon béchamel and her olive oil cake, her mom being every bit the Italian grandma.

Malcolm smiled seeing the fondness shining through his partner’s eyes as she talked about her mother. He’d honestly wondered about the type of woman who’d raised someone as amazing as Dani Powell. He wasn’t sure if the feeling would be mutual but he’d like to meet her and hoped for the chance to one day do so.

“Because I am trying to do better, I am curious about something…” Malcolm ventured as Dani set her wine glass down, leaning in automatically at his words. The diamond solitaire he given her, nestled in the hollow of her throat and sparkling in the candlelight. “After having Nomi, did you ever consider leaving the field?”

It was a question he’d been dying to ask her the moment he found out that she was a mom but he didn’t want to seem overeager or like he was trying to pry into her life when the last time she’d shared something personal with him was because he was being selfish and inconsiderate.

Both Dani and Gil said that everything he didn’t know about her was because he hadn’t bothered to ask and he was trying to change that. 

Dani’s nude painted lips quirked up a bit as it was clear she hadn’t been expecting him to ask her something like that. “Um…I wish I could say that I did but after I got back from leave all I could think about is going back into the field. I mean, I know what we do is dangerous but I felt like I had to, does that make sense?”

“More than you can imagine,” Malcolm answered without a second thought. That was why he did what he did even if though it made no sense to his mother or even Gil at times. He didn’t solve murders just because he was good at it, he did it because he _had_ to.

“More than that though, I became a cop to make my dad proud. He was a public defender. He dedicated his life to helping all those who needed it and I wanted to do the same, especially after doing nothing but things that would’ve disappointed him.” 

Malcolm watched his partner’s bright brown eyes dull with what he could see was old yet resounding pain and a sort of guilt he was all too familiar with. The sort of guilt that made you think you could go your entire life being the very best you could be and it still wouldn’t make up for all you’ve done.

Though Dani hadn’t said it explicitly, it didn’t take all of Malcolm’s powers of deduction to see she meant overdosing and then getting pregnant by someone she had no intention of marrying, two things someone who ascribed to the values of the Catholic church would frown upon.

“I can’t change the past but I hope that by being the best mom and the best detective I can...it makes him proud anyway,” Dani said softly as that pain in her eyes and the pain in her voice still lingered. Malcolm reached across the table, squeezing her hand not unlike he did in the hospital waiting room a few months ago. All of his fingers covering all of hers.

“When you say you’ve disappointed your dad…I don’t think that’s true,” Malcolm watched as some of the heaviness dissipated from her eyes as he gave the words that had changed so much for him, right back to her.

“I…I hope you’re right and I wanted Nomi to be proud of me too. I wanted her to see her Mama working hard for those who needed it because that’s what I was so proud of when I saw my dad do it.” Looking down at their joined hands, Bright’s sapphire cufflink shining in the candlelight, she really didn’t expect to share all of this. 

This was kind of heavy for dinner date conversation but it was a dinner date with _Bright_ so she really should’ve expected nothing less.

Dani definitely didn’t expect him to echo the same words she’d spoken to him when she saw him panicking on the floor, surrounding by case files. Words she didn’t think meant anything to him. 

That said, a few months ago she could never imagine telling him something that weighed so heavily on her even now and she’d never expect that he’d listen to her in that patient, attentive way she was starting to get used to from him. A way she saw was a pattern and not an anomaly. 

A way that only made her want to draw him closer because now she felt like she could.

–––––––––––––––––

“Do you…wanna stay with me?” Malcolm knew that sounded strange but he’d worked up the courage to ask as the one thing he’d been dreading was finally here–the end of their date. 

It wasn’t a first date exactly but it was the first time he’d gotten the opportunity to be out with Dani the way a normal guy would with his girlfriend and it was honestly the best date he’d ever had. It felt _good_ talking to her and sometimes just listening too as she shared things he felt entirely privileged to know. 

Though Malcolm didn’t really eat much, his partner was still insistent that he try–though it was harder just because it wasn’t her cooking. He’d even somewhat suffered through some of the almond cake and poached pear Dani had literally fed him–blushing furiously at something so intimate–just because it pleased her. 

It had’t even felt like a date really, it just felt like _them._

Not that he’d had many but he couldn’t help but remember his last first date and how epically disastrous it was in every way. How it left him broken and bruised. 

It had been drilled into his mind that he wasn’t normal, the way he was wasn’t normal and how he _needed_ to fix it. That feeling of failing at what everyone had always told him normal was, it was crushing. It left him with the realization he’d arrived at long ago that he was inherently unworthy of someone’s time and affection–someone’s love–because he simply wasn’t _normal_. What he could have, was a fleeting semblance of it _only_ when he was pretending that he was. 

Malcolm should’ve known then that he really couldn’t pretend but pretending was always what he’d done best and he’d never been one to leave well enough alone. He’d always been the one who said yes when he should’ve said no.

“You want me to?” Dani asked with surprise as he slid in next to her. His town car hopefully about to take them both to Tribeca. 

“Yeah…I do.” Malcolm said ducking his head a bit, feeling shy all of a sudden. He just wanted to spend more time with her. They spent a lot of time together ordinarily at work and then their movie nights with Nomi but he wasn’t looking forward to going back to his cold and empty loft. 

Truthfully, it was getting harder and harder to part from her. It was what he’d feared originally about becoming close to his partner that he’d grow attached and growing attached meant becoming vulnerable and vulnerability always led to pain, but just as Dani was trusting him with her secrets–her life–he wanted to do the same and that started with saying what he meant.

“Okay,” Dani smiled, relaxing into his side. Warmth radiating from her dark eyes making him relax too. The peach candy scent of her lion’s mane like curls filling his nose. 

–––––––––––––––

Stepping into his apartment, the sudden realization that this was just the two of them alone came over him at once. He tried to remember that he’d asked her up for tea and to unwind, nothing more than that as he locked the door behind him. 

That said, he hadn’t been prepared for Dani pulling him by the lapels of his charcoal gray double breasted suit coat almost as soon as he’d turned the lock, _kissing_ him. The infinitesimal moment of shock led into him melting into her as his arms snaked around her waist pulling her flush against him.

Dani pulled back, realizing that she’d forgotten herself once again. She didn’t know what came over her as she wasn’t like this at all but they’d had so many ups and downs–for the first time, she felt truly _connected_ to him because for the first time since she’d known him, Bright had allowed it.

She knew _this_ wasn’t why he’d asked her to stay with him and she wondered if she’d done too much when Bright looked up at her dazed and more than a little disoriented as his lips parted slightly. She’d overwhelmed him, she realized after a few heartbeats passed between them.

“Um…did you…actually want tea?” Dani said finally, realizing her mistake as Bright continued to stare at her. 

“Yes, well, no…” Malcolm trailed off slowly as he wasn’t sure what was happening and his alleged big brain had already decided to short out on him just as every cell in his body came alive the feeling of her lips on his. “Did you want…tea?”

Dani bit her lip, shaking her head. Her curls moving in time with her, “Just you.”

––––––––––––––––––

_Just him?_

Malcolm shocked-still as he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. As not even in his daydreams did he ever imagine those words coming out of Dani’s mouth.

He wasn’t left with much time to ponder that as Dani’s lips found his once again, her hands unbuttoning his coat. Her lips soft yet insistent as his parted for her, giving her unfettered access. She pushed his suit coat over his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Repeating the same ministrations with his tie and shirt, never breaking contact for a moment.

“Are you undressing me?” Malcolm breathed–something that sounded embarrassingly like a sigh to his own ears–as Dani’s lips trailed along his jawline, his head tipping back automatically. Dani’s smile against his skin as she nipped at his chin, signaled the affirmative.

He’d barely been aware that his partner had been advancing him backwards as his knees collided with the mattress with Dani fluidly stepping out of her backless stilettos and straddling his lap.

His hands low on her hips as she leaned over him, the pads of his fingers pressing into her. He realized his hold was probably too tight but he couldn’t help but feeling like this moment–this woman–would slip through his fingers if he let go even slightly. 

“What?” he whispered, his voice rough as he saw trepidation suddenly flood her dark eyes.

“Can I…touch you?” Dani chewed her lip–one of her few nervous tells as her hands had stilled on this shoulders. Malcolm blinked at her, considering he was certain she could _feel_ how much he wanted her to.

“You’re asking my permission?” The unsurety overtaking her delicate features confused him.

“I…um, touched you once accidentally and you flinched away. I mean, if you don’t want–" Dani moved to scoot off him, mistaking his bewilderment for rejection.

“ _Wait, wait_ ” Malcolm said quickly, pulling her closer keeping her firmly rooted in her spot on his lap. He remembered that first time he’d felt her gentle fingertips on his chest. He’d opened his shirt for her to remove the wire he’d been wearing but he hadn’t expected to react to her touch. 

It wasn’t _her_ –it was him. Everything he did even when he didn't mean to made her think he didn’t want her and now, he could show her just how much he did.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm took her hands in his–hands that trembled just like his, “I want you to.” 

He softly kissed her palms, bringing them to his chest, directly over his rapidly beating heart. He wanted her to know what she did to him–how she made his heart race– how she always had.

Her eyes–black in his darkened apartment–tracing his every movement. He slowly inched them down, over his stomach and stopping just above the waistband of his trousers where he could hide nothing–not that he wanted to. He wanted her to know she did _that_ to him too.

Dani’s eyes traveled up to meet his, her breath hitching as she licked her lips slowly. A sight that reminded him of just how painful his need for her was becoming and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care how long it took–he wanted that pain badly. He was abundantly and readily prepared to receive _anything_ she wanted to give him.

Malcolm watched as Dani removed her hands from his, puling the zipper at her side before smoothly shimming out of her dress, letting it fall to the floor. His breath now hitching as he took in the nude lingerie set almost the same tone as her skin. The thin, utterly sheer garments lacked all frills and was easily the hottest thing he’d ever seen. 

Dani was _perfect_ –every inch of her.

She leaned over him, her soft curls fanning over his face. Her hand cupping his face as she tilted it upward, her blunt nails running along his stubbled jaw, kissing him again–slowly and deeply as she coaxed moans from the back of his throat. Her hands winding through his hair, tugging at it in a way that was at once rough and gentle, something he didn’t even know he liked until this moment.

His hands lightly ran along the curve of her tiny waist before dipping his hand underneath the band of her strapless bra, pulling the clasp that held it together. 

Dani leaned back slightly, smiling as Bright looked up at her as if seeing the universe as she sat entirely bared to him. She stared into those familiar bright eyes that gleamed silver in the moonlight streaming in from the window, knowing that this would change _everything,_ “Lie back.”

––––––––––––––

Dani ran her hands over Bright’s bare skin–exactly as smooth as it had looked that day in the hospital–as she’d made quick work of the rest of his clothes. She lightly trailed her fingers over her partner’s chest, the muscles in his arms–appreciating his strength. He’d told her that he wanted her to touch him and she wanted to take her time. 

She wondered how many ever had before. She wondered if he knew this could be about so much more than what it was. 

Dani's fingers encircled his wrists, slowly bringing his arms above his head. She smiled at Bright’s sharp intake of breath, his abs clenching beneath her. 

She leaned down once again, kissing him deeply as their fingers intertwined. Pulling away once more, she slid lower down his frame, her hands trailing over the corded muscles of his stomach, feeling his breathing grow ragged beneath her. The only sound in the stillness of his apartment.

Placing a soft kiss right below his navel, Bright’s hands spasmed around hers as a whimper escaped his lips. 

“ _Dani…please_ ,” he begged as her lips trailed over his Apollo’s belt, her teeth nibbling at his hipbone. He was being so patient but she could hear the desperation edging his words.

He gazed up at his exposed ceiling, his chest heaving, his mind clouded with all things _her_ as she pressed only the lightest of butterfly kisses to his skin, lingering over the a heart that only beat for her. Her lips on his skin–the way she touched him should’ve been illegal as nothing should feel that good and he _needed_ more.

“ _Malcolm_ , tell me what you want,” Dani whispered in his ear, her cheek against his.

“Just you,” he rasped as his hands tightened around her, echoing her words for the second time tonight.

As Dani kissed that spot just below his ear, he was given exactly that, a sort of euphoria he _drowned_ in.

–––––––––––––––––

Malcolm blinked awake as the early morning light streamed in from the window. He had no idea what time it was as he tried to clear the cobwebs from his brain. He closed his eyes as nothing would cooperate with him at the moment, his mind was foggy and he felt tired– _really_ tired.

It slowly dawned on him that he hadn’t spent last night alone and the reason for this morning’s bone deep fatigue was sleeping peacefully inches away from him with her arm draped loosely across his stomach.

_Dani._

Malcolm turned his head slightly to look at her. The morning sun bathed his partner in gold, making her everything etherial and radiant. At some point during the night, his hand had buried itself in her curls. It was funny as that had been the first thing he’d noticed about her when they first met.

Dani had the prettiest hair he’d ever seen and from then he’d often wondered if it was as soft as it looked. He never thought that he’d find it softer than he imagined as with the rest of her. He shifted more so he lay on his side to better see her. 

The very action reminding him that he’d fallen asleep unrestrained. He’d been too tired or more accurately–too utterly exhausted–to complete an action as simple as that one. He’d crushed himself to her, his head against the center of Dani’s chest as he trembled in her arms after releasing everything he felt for her, letting every letter of her name fall from his lips with the utmost reverence. He could do no more than allow sleep to claim him.

Malcolm knew how insanely dangerous that was as a time before when he’d been in this position, he’d nearly stabbed his ex-girlfriend to death in the midst of an episode. That moment had shamed him. The horror and revulsion he’d seen then wounded him deeply as what he wanted–to feel wanted–he couldn’t have–not really and not entirely. A feeling so thick and poisonous, it coiled around his heart, squeezing until there was nothing left. His ex had told him that he scared her and it had been fine until he actually became scary. 

Malcolm thought about then and he thought about now as he watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Dani’s back as she lay on her stomach. Her soft breathing made him as calm as he’d never been. As dangerous as it was, he honestly couldn’t imagine having a night terror–not after last night. 

Subconsciously, Malcolm knew back then he’d been making a mistake–letting a stranger into his life for all the wrong reasons–but being so starved for contact, for affection, for normalcy–he’d done it anyway. As his other hand lightly brushed a stray curl out of Dani’s face, that first time with his ex and everything that followed felt like a bad dream compared to this–the peace that lived within him now.

 _This_ wasn’t about him feeling starved–it was about being fed. It was about connection. It was so much more than just business for him. Being truly close to Dani meant everything to him. She’d taken care of him and she’d taken her time with him. No one ever had before. She made him feel wanted and desired and... _loved_ but this time he knew it was real.

Malcolm remembered vividly how his partner felt pressed up against him. Everything soft but lean and so incredibly warm. Her throaty, Bronx accent leaking on his tongue as she whispered his name before sending him headlong into an ecstasy unlike anything he’d ever known and he wondered how much better off would he have been if he’d waited for this. If he’d nurtured their bond instead of trying to sever it. If he’d known how this would feel. Everything would’ve been better– _he_ would’ve been better knowing that it was okay to feel this way for her. 

Bringing his hand to Dani's cheek, cupping it softly as to not wake her. Malcolm leaned in, closing the few inches of distance between them, pressing his lips to hers. More touch than kiss. 

“I love you. I love you so much,” he whispered–words he’d hidden from himself. Dani didn’t hear them and if she did, he doubted she’d remember but he wanted to say them anyway. She’d demanded his honesty once upon a time and only now did he give it.

–––––––––––––––––

_The very first time_  
_That I saw your brown eyes_  
_Your lips said hello and I said hi_  
_I knew right then you were the one_  


Dani stirred as a song she hadn’t heard in ages drifted out from Bright’s speakers, she smiled as no one could ever accuse her partner of being subtle. 

Reaching over to his nightstand to check her messages, making sure there were none from her mom other than to say that Nomi had a good night. After quickly texting Mamma to give her baby a good morning kiss for her, she slipped on Bright’s black dress shirt from last night.

Joining him in the kitchen, she spotted Bright with his head down doing something as he wore only a pair of black sweats sitting low on his hips. 

She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, her palms lightly running along the taut muscles of his stomach. He’d told her that it was okay to touch him and honestly, she didn’t think she’d ever want to stop. Bright didn’t seem to mind as he smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners that way they did only when he really meant it as he kissed her forehead softly.

Looking over his shoulder, she realized her partner was making Avocado toast–her absolute favorite–though not any that she ever made for herself. This one with sliced salmon, chili flakes and dill. Things she knew Bright didn’t ordinarily have in his kitchen as the last time she was here literally all he had outside of a canister of black licorice were things to make grilled cheese, meaning bread and cheese. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were hoping for something to happen,” Dani grinned, drawing Bright’s own dimpled smile.

“I was hoping to make you breakfast,” he replied rather evasively though she couldn’t miss the slyness in his voice.

“But you were hoping for dessert too though,” She tightened her arms around him, smiling against his shoulder. There was something undeniably _sweet_ about the idea that he’d gone shopping for things he knew she’d like just from spending time with her and paying attention–something a few months ago she’d never expect from him.

Bright hummed, “I think _you_ were hoping for dessert–not that I mind at all.”

Dani laughed as the song switched to one of her favorites. She’d changed the playlist to one from her phone before joining him. The slow, alternative R&B song matching her mood this morning.

––––––––––––––––-

“Dance with me, Malcolm,” Dani's voice lilting and playful.

He turned to face her as she broke away from him. Before he could miss the feeling of his partner’s arms around him, he slowly realized that Dani only ever called him by his first name when he was bleeding on a warehouse floor and last night gasping inside his mouth.

He also came to the slow realization that she was wearing the shirt she’d taken off him and how it just barely covered everything that required covering. He wrapped his arms around her waist, doing exactly as she asked suddenly feeling dizzy–in the best way imaginable.

_Softer now, think I'm ready_  
_I'm thinking twice she held me steady_  


He didn’t know this song but somehow he understood these lyrics _quite well_ as her arms wrapped around his neck while they swayed to the sultry ballad.

“ _But almost like in ways I seem to crave it. So much so I've even tried to name it,”_ Dani sang in his ear, her voice huskier than normal as her fingers carded through the hair at the scruff of his neck, her blunt fingernails trailing along his skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. 

Pulling away and drawing in, their noses brushed as he went in for a kiss. His peppermint toothpaste couldn’t hide a sweetness that was entirely her.

Malcolm wasn’t much interested in dancing anymore as he dipped her, deciding to slowly lower her to the floor. He felt completely in over his head but it was okay– _she_ made it okay.

“Really? The floor?” Dani laughed as he leaned over her. He joined in on her laughter as he had no reasonable explanation for it either as no one but Dani could have him so _affected_ but still feel like laughing.

He could say there was no one but Dani for a lot of things at the moment and he worried endlessly about hurting or scaring her. Those scars from before were still there but somehow he knew he could be himself with her–whatever that was.

Dani looked up at him through her lashes–waiting–much like he had last night. The sight of her in his shirt made him not want to wait much longer as he tore it away. The sound of Dani’s surprised giggles and buttons scattering across the floor would have distracted him if his shirt hadn’t been the only thing his partner had bothered to put on.

“Surprise?” Dani laughed once again this time at his reaction as he stared, momentarily stunned by golden olive perfection made even more apparent in the midmorning light.

Suddenly thoughts ran through his head that didn’t normally–not like this. His partner gave so much to him and he wanted–he _needed_ to show her that he could give just as much.

Leaning over her just a little more, Malcolm’s hands lightly ran over her legs–forever mesmerized by their smoothness. He pulled her closer as he draped them over his shoulders and around his neck.

“I…I wanna try something…” Bright placed a kiss directly over her navel, then another a little _lower_ as he looked up at her. Eyes that usually matched his name, now hazy. Dani met his gaze as her own breathing grew uneven and her body shivered. Anticipation and desire building within her.

She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant and then she _was._

–––––––––––––––––

Dani blinked awake after she wasn’t sure how long, unconsciously pulling the bedsheets over her chest. Shifting a bit, she tucked her head underneath Bright’s chin, completely enfolded in him as she inhaled the remnants of his shower from earlier this morning, something like Sandalwood that comforted her in way she never imagined just like the circle of his arms did.

She remembered waking up earlier. Breakfast turned to slow dancing which then turned into Bright wanting to _try_ something and he did. Something that left her soul singing, unraveling completely on his kitchen floor as her hands fisted in his thick chestnut hair. Her partner’s darkened gaze looking up at her, watching it all unfold–watching _her_ unfold.

It had been a lack of restraint she’d shown to no one but him. No one but Bright knew her in that way and that should’ve scared her as her issues with trust were for good reason but it didn’t.

Dani knew Bright was awake too as she listened to his steady heartbeat. He was so still–so complete unlike the way she’d always known him. A man who lived in constant motion. It was different seeing him relaxed and even more so seeing it because of _her._

“Who would’ve thought you’d be the little spoon,” Amusement and undeniable affection coloring her partner’s voice as his fingers buried in her curls, something he’d done quite a lot over their time spent together alone.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Dani sighed as she couldn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed either.

Bright tenderly kissed the top of her head, “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Craning her neck up to look at him while stretching rather catlike, “So _that’s_ how Malcolm Bright seduces his dates,” Dani mused, her deep brown eyes alight with something never in his wildest dreams could he imagine would be for him–because of him.

“Are you even seducible, Detective Powell?” he replied by way of answer, mirroring her playfully narrow eyed expression. A lazy, satisfied smile stretching his lips.

“If it’s like that? _Very_ ,” she scooted closer, burrowing deeper into his chest, curling her body around his. Wrapping her arms around him, her hand lightly ghosting along his side, loving the feel of the sinewy definition beneath her fingertips.

Malcolm laughed as his fingers ran along the ridges of Dani’s spine, the feel of her bare skin against his, something he’d never get used to, “Good to know because that was _yours._ ” 

He’d never felt this way before and there were things he’d only wanted to share with her because this was different. He’d wanted to appreciate her–adore her and though what happened in the kitchen was very much _hers_ , perhaps it was his too. Giving to her–holding her steady as she trembled–had given to him too. It was something else Malcolm hadn’t known he liked until that very moment.

––––––––––––––

_Hers._

Dani craned her neck up to look at her partner once more, searching his face. Looking at ghostly blue eyes that all too often looked haunted and sad, filled with shadows and burdens–eyes that were now at ease. His too handsome face that oscillated between flamboyant overconfidence and something shuttered–something that prevented anyone from getting too close to the man underneath now open and so very soft.

She had no witty comment. Nothing to supply their normal teasing banter. All she could do was stare at him. She didn’t know what he saw in her face as he stared back, pushing a stray curl behind her ear. She’d shown her heart to him many times but he never looked back–he never saw. 

He was looking now and what she saw as she looked at him…maybe he was showing his heart too. Maybe she saw what she’d always wished for. Maybe just maybe he loved her too.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm forced himself to remain present. What had been the most perfect weekend alone with Dani was over. Back to work and a new case that sent him standing in front of his father’s cell waiting for Mr. David to let him in.

He’d done this countless times but it never got any easier. Every time he thought he could handle his father and his riddles, his lies and his games–Martin found a new and creative way to twist the knife that was forever and firmly embedded in his heart.

Their new case looked eerily similar to a a series of murders his father had committed in 1995. He needed more insight from the source himself before he could officially diagnose the situation as being copycat.

“Another one? That’s so boring–albeit flattering,” Martin waved a hand dismissively before taking a seat at his table, crossing his legs and grinning somewhat manically at him. “What’s new? How’s life? Have you gotten back in the saddle yet?”

Malcolm’s jaw flexed as he tried to ignore his father waggling his brows suggestively. “The case, Dr. Whitly.”

He reached into his overcoat pocket for the unusual coin that had been left beside the body at one of their crime scenes. He knew Gil wouldn’t approve of him “removing evidence” but he thought if his father saw it in person he might recognize its significance and provide an insight that he himself had missed. Only instead of what might be a key piece of evidence linking them to their killer, a black bullet fell out of his pocket, rolling by his father’s feet.

 _M.A.C lipstick._ Nomi must’ve put it in his pocket at some point as her mother had tons of them. On her dresser, in her car, in her drawer.

“What do we have here?” Martin twisted up the lipstick, appraising the midtone brown color. “I’m not sure this one suits you, my boy. I wonder who it would suit…the very lovely _Detective Powell_ , perhaps?”

Malcolm knew he’d just given everything away by the surprise in his father’s demented eyes, his smile widening. “Oh how, _wonderful!_ You and the lovely…Dani…isn’t it? Yes, the lovely Dani. You know, it’s not as if you come to me with such matters but I was rooting for _her_. Man to man, Dani is _much_ prettier than the last one–may God have mercy on her soul–and much to your mother’s dismay, you’ve always been more Harry than William anyway.” Martin laughed, the wheezing chortle Malcolm heard so many times in his head and in his nightmares. His father finding deep amusement at his expense.

Malcolm tried to call to mind any one of his daily affirmations to keep him from giving his father more of what he loved–a reaction. Knowledge that he’d successfully gotten into his head.

“Dr. Whitly,” Malcolm said through gritted teeth, his jaw firmly locked in place. “ _The case.”_

“We’ll get to that, my boy. But really…you and your lady partner…punching above your weight class a bit, I see.” Martin remarked knowingly, the irritating brow waggling continuing. “I don’t blame you though, your mother was out of my league too.”

Malcolm looked down, seeing his “never-better” shaky hand beginning to tremble at his father’s words.

It wasn’t Martin’s mockery that upset him as Malcolm was used to that–it was the rupturing of that fantasy that he couldn't keep what he had with Dani–what he had with Nomi too–separate from this. This _thing_ he let destroy him over and over.

The static that had filled his mind up until very recently, growing so much louder–deafening even.

“I’m proud of you, my boy. She’s a brave girl too…” Martin trailed off, knowing he was setting a trap Malcolm would easily fall right into.

“And what does that mean?” Malcolm asked tightly, doing exactly what Martin knew he would.

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed…” Martin whispered lowly as though he were sharing a secret just between the two of them. “But women tend to die on us–around us–if you will. With the exception of your mother, of course. The woman’s a battle axe if I’ve ever seen one–don’t tell her I said that.”

 _Women tend to die on us._ That circled around Malcolm’s head on endless loop as he hastily left his father’s cell ignoring Martin yelling to give his best to Ainsley. Malcolm had no new insight on the case but so much more on himself.

What he had with Dani, he didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t meant for _him_. Malcolm didn’t deserve the happiness, the peace, the _home_ she’d given him with her and her daughter.

He knew this–he’d always known this. He was Malcolm _Whitly_ , how could he be any more than that? 

Everything he touched turned to dust in his hands. The last girl who got close to him, ended up drowned and tossed off the Brooklyn bridge like a piece of garbage. That had made him unreasonably sad but what if it were _Dani?_ What if he did that to her? What if he left Nomi without a mom? 

Two lives he’d ruin like he ruined everything else.

––––––––––––––––––––

Walking into a darkened conference room, Malcolm spotted Dani at the board with her back to him. He called her name as she turned slowly. Her pretty face cold, unreadable. Her familiar brown eyes hard.

“How could you think I’d actually want you? How can you protect anyone when you can’t even protect yourself? Did you really think you could be a father for my child? _You?_ I can’t even trust you. You’re a fraud and you don’t care about a thing except your damn self. You make me sick.” 

His partner looked at him as if she didn’t know him. Gone was the warmth Malcolm always seen from her even before she really knew him–warmth he’d long taken for granted. He felt those words stabbing him as mercilessly as Watkins’ hunting knife and even that had been more gentle.

Malcolm stared at Dani, his heart breaking more with each passing second as she turned her back on him. He wanted to say something–anything. The hum of what sounded like... _music_...distracting him as it got louder:

_And if I ever (ever fall) in love again (again)_  
_I will be sure that the lady is a friend_  


Malcolm violently startled awake at the sound of his inspirational music alarm. He shot up in bed, his chest heaving as he was serenaded by a song that he could never listen to without thinking of Dani and now, he couldn’t stop hearing those words she spoke to him. 

He’d been dreaming obviously but it felt so real.

He scrubbed his hands over his face, closing his eyes. All he could see was Dani telling him all those things he knew to be true. 

Malcolm was a disappointment–a consummate disappointment and he’d disappointed her before–more than once. Just by being _him,_ he’d do it again and Dani would leave.

She’d see that he could never be the man she deserved. He could never be the father Nomi deserved. Everyone had been right. His father had been right. Malcolm couldn’t protect them because he couldn’t protect himself. He was weak. He couldn’t believe he’d fooled himself into thinking he could be better–that he could be _more_ than what he was. 

What he’d always been.

–––––––––––––––––––––

It had been about three days since Dani had heard from Bright. Not after she’d left his apartment Sunday morning to pick up Nomi from her mom’s. They had a new case, from what she could understand it was adjacent to The Surgeon but by no means one to one.

She’d wanted to talk to him–to see if everything was okay but he’d barely looked at her at work. She’d tried to engage him, get him to open up but he brushed her off, giving her a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes and an excuse. He brushed her off the way he used to and that hurt, especially now.

The time she spent with him it was more than just physical intimacy, it was camping out on his couch binge watching _Ozark_ and staying up deep into the night just talking the way normal couples did. It was the best or at least _she’d_ thought so.

 _I won’t be able to make it tonight. I’ve got some things to take care of._ The vague text from Bright read. Now, after avoiding her at work, he was canceling their movie night. She tried to swallow down the tears clogging her throat. 

It wasn’t that he couldn’t make it to watch movies with them, it was just when Dani lowered her guard, when he let him in completely, unable to give him more than she did–he _hurt_ her. That’s what he did. He made her feel wanted and loved but Bright lied–he lied very well. 

She hated it because it was her fault. She allowed him to dig up that grave another time. She let her feelings dictate a reality that had always been crystal clear. 

“Mama, when’s Bright getting here?” Nomi scooted into her lap, all dressed in her favorite jammies with the little purple hearts, looking up at her. “I wanna show him my picture!” 

Dani smiled despite that lump in her throat growing just a bit bigger as she looked into her baby’s excitedly earnest face. Nomi proudly holding up a little picture she’d drawn of Melody, complete with her little pink bunny ears. 

“That’s so beautiful, sweetie. We're gonna put this one on the fridge,” she praised, grateful that her voice was steadier than she felt, brushing her hand over Nomi’s soft shoulder length curls. “But, um, Bright, won’t be able to make it tonight. He’s a little busy.”

Nomi’s little bow shaped mouth formed an “o” as her chin began to quiver. Dani hugged her baby to her chest before she started to cry, wrapping her up entirely. “It’s okay, sweetie. Mimi and Mama can still have fun like we used to, right?”

Nomi nodded against her chest, before looking up at her. Her big browns wide as she looked up at her Mama. Nomi’s little hands softly patting her cheeks, wiping away a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. “It’s okay, Mama. Don’t be sad. Bright will come back.” 

Dani smiled despite everything, cupping her baby’s face. She lightly brushed those unruly curls around her little one’s hairline, wondering what on earth she’d done to deserve a little girl like her. Nomi kissed her nose before wrapping her arms around her neck, giving Dani that hug she _always_ needed.

She’d been trying to comfort Nomi who ended up comforting her. That’s just how it was with the two of them. On those nights when work took everything out of her, when cases became too impossible to solve, when victims and their families deserved so much more than they were getting, all she could do sometimes was come home, sit and hold her baby. 

Sometimes they stayed that way for hours. When she was surrounded by all that was wrong in the world–in life–she needed that time to be reminded of the only thing that had ever been right. The only thing she’d ever truly _done_ right. Tonight was one of those nights.

–––––––––––––––––

“Dani?” Malcolm lifted his head from the pillow as his partner let herself into his apartment. He sat up, pushing the black cardigan she’d left at his place under the covers and out of view.

He’d been sleeping with it–well not exactly sleeping–but he kept it by his head as he pretended to sleep. Maybe it was sad that he was keeping something like this as a security blanket of sorts but he couldn’t help it as only with her had he ever truly felt safe.

Four days, he’d been keeping himself away from her and Nomi. Each day felt longer than the last. He couldn’t have imagined the relief flooding through him at the sight of her. Malcolm knew he’d run from her again but unlike the last time, it had been harder to convince himself that he was making the right decision.

“Yeah, it’s me. The one you’re supposed to be in a relationship with or did I misread you again?” Dani said quietly, her face unreadable.

“Dani, it’s not–" Malcolm said quickly, wanting to explain himself and why he’d been so distant lately, moving to where his partner stood immobile as a statue staring at him–through him.

“It’s not, what? You got what you wanted and now you’re just gonna ghost me. Is that how it goes with you? You use people too?” Dani tilted her head, her voice deadly calm.

“No, of course not!” Malcolm’s eyes widened, horrified that she’d think that little of him–that he’d think that little of her. 

Dani smiled though she couldn’t find a single thing funny. She’d seen this movie before and she didn’t like the ending at all. Bright’s words and his actions not for one moment adding up and she couldn’t do it anymore. “You know, what? This–this was a mistake, I’m done.”

–––––––––––––––––––

Her words slowly settled on him as he knew this was the moment she’d step right out of his life for good. Her smooth, impassive mask slipped, showing nothing but a pain that he put there. All this time he made her think nothing that had happened between them meant anything to him, just like he made her think she didn’t mean anything to him. He had to be honest about _everything._

“Dani, please, hear me out,” Malcolm knew he was begging but he didn’t care. He just needed her to listen. He swiped a hand over his face, wiping away tears that were now falling freely. He didn’t want to cry in front of her, he didn’t want her to think he was trying to manipulate her emotions when he could barely control his own.

“Why?” Dani yanked her arm away when he tried to reach for her. “I can’t read your mind and why would you expect me to, Bright? How is that fair?”

“I–I didn’t mean–" Malcolm sputtered, trying to say something that wouldn’t sound as selfish and immature as he knew he had been. 

Dani shook her head. Her boundless curls bounced with the movement, cutting him off, “You wouldn’t even follow through when you thought it was just me, how could I expect that you would knowing it’s not. You showed me what you wanted–it was was _never_ me and I know it wasn’t _this._ ”

“Dani, that’s not true!” He was losing control of the situation and quickly. All of his mistakes compounding one another.

“How is it not? _You know what you did._ But it’s my fault…I made myself believe that I wasn’t the second choice. That I was more than the one you ask to run background checks and plates. That I was more to you,” Dani’s voice broke in time with his heart as he realized just how badly he’d wounded her. 

_A second choice?_ Was that how he made her feel? For so long, he’d imagined how it would feel facing Dani’s eventual rejection but never once did he think that she might think of him rejecting her.

“Dani, you were _never_ a second choice. What happened with Eve…with her...I felt like I had nothing to lose. The stakes were low. I didn’t worry incessantly about disappointing her. I didn’t feel inherently undeserving of being with her,” Malcolm took a deep steadying breath, willing away the emotion that threatened to come spilling out of him even more. All of the lies he told to himself were now truths out in the open–truths Dani more than anything deserved to hear. “…There’s a reason I wanted so badly to be your friend, it’s the same reason I was so terrified to want more. You’re so kind and compassionate and beautiful. It's not just what you look like–it's your heart. Your heart is beautiful and pure...I knew you were too good for me but I was so afraid that you knew it too and I decided not to try. I thought it would hurt less if I settled for less because I didn’t think I deserved better.”

Dani chewed on her lip as she pulled the sleeves of her soft looking cream sweater over her hands, another anxious tell. “You can’t keep pulling the rug, Bright. I’m here, I’ve _always_ been here but if you don’t want this. You can tell me, I deserve that much.”

Bright had been honest, he’d given her an answer to a question she couldn’t stop asking but it hadn’t been the one she expected. She didn’t think he saw her in that way. She didn’t think the kindness and care she’d given to him was something he felt he had to live up to. 

Dani looked at her partner, his pale eyes reminding her of shattered crystal. “You’re right, you do deserve that much–you and Nomi deserve so much more than I can give you. I know that–I’ve always known that. It’s best if I weren’t in your lives anymore.” The more she watched his heart splinter behind his eyes, the more Dani realized that there was more to the story of why he’d been so absent lately. 

There was something else Bright wasn’t telling her. He looked _haunted_ and so very sad. She sighed because she could tell he truly believed the words he’d just spoken, despite it being untrue. With that being said, she couldn’t keep going back and forth with him. She couldn’t keep putting Nomi in the crosshairs of his indecision because this now impacted her too. 

“Bright, do you wanna be with us?” She asked him pointblank. So many times they misunderstood each other because they were unwilling to say what needed to be said. Dani couldn’t make that mistake anymore.

“You two are the best thing to ever happen to me,” Bright’s voice was small but honest. He was being genuine, he was giving her what she’d been seeing those two months after she agreed to give him a second chance. “But I’m no good for both of you. I’m Martin Whitly’s son and that’s all I’ll ever be.” 

She remembered hearing a killer who’d targeted his family, say something so very similar and Dani knew Bright believed that too. She knew he believed that because of his father who by all accounts was very happy, sleeping peacefully every night– _he_ couldn’t be happy. 

Bright was wrong because Dani had seen what his happiness looked like and she’d seen it with them, “No, you’re _my partner_ and I don’t know what else to do to make you believe that.”

Dani had given him so much but even she had her limits if he wasn’t willing to trust that they wanted him in their lives.

“I’m sorry,” Malcolm wanted so desperately to believe her. He wanted so desperately to believe there was a way out of all he’d always known but he just wasn’t sure if he did.

“So am I,” Dani said quietly knowing exactly that as she left him standing alone in his apartment once more, wondering if one thing had been different–would _everything_ have been different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took so long to post and it's so long lol. Thank you all so much for continuing to read and support a story I'm having so much fun with and also MASSIVE thank you once again to @Florexandra for continually helping me bring this idea to life.
> 
> The songs that inspired this chapter are "The 1" by Taylor Swift, "Euphoria" by Don Toliver, Kaash Paige and Travis Scott, "Exile" by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver. The songs mentioned in this chapter are If I Ever Fall In Love by Shai and "Doing Better" by Jaime Isaac


	7. Chapter 7

Ainsley realized she should’ve been working on a new story but she just couldn’t get herself to focus. Truth be told, focusing on anything that wasn’t _that night_ took all the energy she had. The only thing that truly distracted her was her brother and his melodrama of the week.

She hadn’t seen Malcolm at family dinner in two weeks and he hadn’t shown up to Sunday brunch. Ainsley knew he and their mother still weren’t on speaking terms since she apparently put all of her big Karen energy on full display in front of his girlfriend and her daughter, but he had started showing up to family dinner again, only he brooded in silence for an hour and a half and left. It was very similar to every family dinner they had as kids.

Out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to needle him which was usually the highlight of her week, Ainsley checked to see if her brother was online. Perking up when she saw he currently was.

“Oh my God, Mal, _what happened to you?_ ” Ainsley was used to her brother looking a little haggard but the face blankly staring at her from his Tribeca loft looked like the _Walking Dead._

Malcolm’s eyes were puffy and red like he’d been crying. His already pronounced eyebags looked slightly purple and bruise-like as it seemed he hadn’t slept in days. His dark hair was a mess and she could practically smell the Macallan on him through the screen.

Bottom line, Malcolm looked _disheveled_ and as neurotically obsessed with his appearance as her brother was, that flat out didn’t happen ever.

“I–I think Dani broke up with me,” he mumbled as his eyes grew glassy. Ainsley winced, immediately feeling sympathy for him. Her brother didn’t take breakups well. She’d been there for the last one. 

Ainsley remembered seeing him across the table after Princess Percocet got what she wanted from him and peaced the hell out before they all realized she’d done that permanently from earth. Malcolm had pretended like he was fine but Ainsley knew it tore him up inside, especially considering the bitch didn’t even have the decency or the balls to break up with him in person, instead choosing to leave a voicemail on his phone.

But even _that_ hadn’t been anything like _this._ Her brother wasn’t even pretending and Ainsley could spot the depression cloud hanging over him from her office in Times Square. 

“What happened? What did you do?” Ainsley couldn’t imagine how things with Dani went so sour so quickly. She remembered how happy the two of them looked in the park that day with Dani’s adorable little daughter and not too long ago, her brother was practically on cloud 9 telling her how he was making progress on his relationship probation.

Ainsley had only spoken to her brother’s best friend–turned–girlfriend a few times but she knew Dani wasn’t heartless like that _thing_ that slept in a box. She had a sneaking suspicion this had everything do with her brother and his tendency to let the dumbass jump out.

Malcolm’s eyes drifted down to his lap, where a black sweater of some sort laid, “Um…Dani and I spent the weekend together just the two of us and it was… _amazing_ and then I…pulled back. I got scared and I kinda avoided her for a few days…”

The dumbass did hurdles.

“You idiot.” Ainsley literally face palmed as she couldn’t believe her ears. On what planet did he think he could do that and Dani wouldn’t drop his ass? “You’re telling me, you had _sex_ with your girlfriend for the first time and then you _ghosted_ her? Do you not know that’s instant grounds for your termination? How are you so bad at this?!”

Malcolm’s eyes widened as if just now realizing the gravity of his mistake, “I…I didn’t…I mean, this is all so new to me. My last girlfriend–"

“Box girl wasn’t your girlfriend, she was your _fluffer_ ,” Ainsley cut him off unwilling to hear his half-baked excuses. She’d felt bad for her brother initially but what about his girlfriend? Didn’t he realize how much that had to hurt her? What he did was the dickest of dick moves.

“Ains! Come on!” Malcolm’s eyes widened with that annoyingly scandalized expression on his face that made him look identical to their mother as his face flamed.

“Mal, grow up,” Ainsley rolled her eyes. “You know it’s true and you know that’s the _only_ reason you liked box girl other than the fact that she found you _oh so irresistible_ and opened up her Venus fly trap for you after spending, what? A grand total of three seconds in your presence and for your sake– _and Dani’s_ –I hope you took a flea bath after. Bottom line, you can lie to everyone else but you wanted to be fluffed. Admit it.”

Malcolm stared at his sister, seething as his frustration began to simmer over. Apparently everyone saw just how much he craved instant gratification. His mother had also venomously pointed it out and so did the FBI review board who accused him of having narcissistic tendencies _just like his father._

More than that, apparently it was common knowledge among everyone that he loved being lied to so long as it bolstered his own ego. 

No one saw that wasn’t it at all.

All he heard were the things he wasn’t by his mother and then the things he was by literally everyone else. For once, Malcolm wanted to hear that he wasn’t completely worthless and now he could see how that apparently obvious deep-seeded need only made it easier for his ex to find him at his most vulnerable–right as it had been revealed to the entire Tri-State area just how much his father had left him ruined–and manipulate him. To hear that he _enjoyed_ that, it infuriated him.

“You think it’s _fun_ for me being lied to? You think it’s _fun_ being disrespected? Being strung along and then discarded? _Who enjoys that Ains?!_ ” Malcolm exploded, his voice rising along with his anger, letting his temper get the better of him again.

Malcolm took a deep breath, seeing his sister’s crossed arms, narrow eyed stare and clenched jaw. Ainsley hadn’t reacted to his outburst like Dani had but he still shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t his sister’s fault any of that had happened to him.

Malcolm could’ve ended things with his ex before it restarted after she left him the first time. He could’ve ended things right after he found out that he’d been played but he couldn’t. He’d long gotten used to compartmentalizing pain.

He’d numbed himself to it and it did hurt initially but the pain dulled over time–it always did. Malcolm could handle pain and he was okay with handling pain if it came with at least some affection. Maybe it wasn’t real but in those moments, he could at least make himself believe it was.

Malcolm had begged his ex to stay because it was better than being alone again and negative affection and attention was better than none at all. He’d begged her without a second thought because that type of relationship was comfortable and it was familiar, it was what he’d always known. He knew what to expect.

No, it wasn’t Ainsley’s fault or even _Dani’s_ fault as he’d made it seem when Eve died suddenly. The only person at fault for everything that happened to him _was him._

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you,” Malcolm sighed, realizing he was being the person he swore he didn’t want to be anymore.

“ _You’re_ apologizing? That’s one for the record books,” The corner of Ainsley’s lips curled up in a little half smirk.

“I’m working on changing.” Malcolm raked his hands through his hair. He obviously hadn’t changed enough to keep Dani the love of his life–his once in 20 lifetimes–from walking out on him after wronging her yet again. The one who drew stars around all of his scars and without her, he walked around feeling like one giant open wound. That pain was familiar too but now, he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand only having her oversized black cardigan that he kept by his head at night and during the day just so he could remember what she smelled like and how it felt to be safe. “I went to see Dad and I realized that I could never keep what I have–had–with Dani. I’m not even supposed to have it. Being ‘fluffed’ as you crassly pointed out is all I deserve.”

Ainsley sighed leaning on her red cashmere sweater covered elbows, feeling bad for her brother once more, “You know Mom in all of her screwed up-ness made you think that and you know Dad’s a sociopath who gets off on messing with your head. Mal, you should have someone who wants to be with you- _for you_ –and you had that but you were looking for an out. You gotta be honest with yourself. You wanted to leave before Dani left you and that’s not fair to her or her daughter.”

Malcolm let his sister’s honest words sink in. Ainsley had always been the most clearheaded and sober minded among them and when she wasn’t acting like a demon, he always valued her insight and she was right. 

He had been looking for a way out. What he found with Dani and Nomi was more than he ever thought possible. He’d only been looking for normal. He hadn’t thought he’d find a home.

Malcolm didn’t want to leave them. The part of his mind that told him to self-destruct did, but he couldn’t keep allowing that part of his mind to make decisions for him. He couldn’t continuously be ruled by his fear. He’d always felt caged and as he was beginning to come to terms with, all his cages were mental. He was stuck inside his own head, wanting something different but doing the same things.

“What do I do, Ains?” Malcolm asked quietly after awhile, feeling the well of hopelessness grow deeper.

“I don’t think there’s anything you _can_ do. You gotta wait for her to come to you _if_ she wants to. Don’t show up to her place trying to make her talk to you and don’t send her any ridiculous 'I’m sorry' gifts. I know this is a hard concept for literally everyone in this family but you gotta respect boundaries. You aren’t entitled to anything right now.”

Malcolm felt his heart drop as that wasn’t what he’d been hoping to hear. He wanted some fool-proof way to get Dani to see that he wasn’t bad. He was just...afraid. Afraid of trying and failing. Afraid of truly having hope for the first time.

He remembered telling Isabella when trying to talk her down from assassinating her ex-boyfriend’s father on live television that all anyone can do is just wait and hope. He’d been trying to deescalate a killer but once again, he’d been talking about himself. He’d been waiting and hoping to find happiness but that morning all he saw in his mind’s eye was his mother kissing his father and himself kissing his ex. That was what happiness looked like for him and that happiness looked a lot like horrible dysfunction and it was.

He hadn’t known until the day was almost over that what he’d been waiting and hoping for existed in the woman who just hours earlier called herself his partner for the first time.

When Malcolm admitted to himself that he’d wanted a relationship on his terms, that was true. When he admitted that he didn’t want to be unmasked, that was less true. He’d already been unmasked. 

Dani had seen the real him on the first day they met and when he hurt her feelings at the funeral director’s convention. She’d seen his ugliness, his scars and never did he believe anyone as wonderful as her could see all of that and still like the man underneath.

But she did and she’d never given him a reason to think otherwise. It was him. It was _always_ him.

––––––––––––––––––

Hours passed and Malcolm hadn’t moved, to say he was having a hard time adjusting would be an incredible understatement. He hadn’t done much of anything. He hadn’t in the two days since Dani left. He hadn’t slept and he hadn’t eaten. As he’d done to his potential to be and do better, he’d just laid in that same spot–wasted. 

There was a small part of himself that thought of following his fears all the way down. It was that same part of himself that always grew louder when the pain was the loudest but somehow he knew Dani wouldn’t want that. 

Even if Dani didn’t want to be with him anymore, even if they were broken up for good, Malcolm knew that would hurt her. Gil had told him how scared she’d been when he walled himself off in the conference room, dangerously close to electroshocking himself into the next century, wanting some release for the pain of hurting the only real father he’d ever had after he’d learned that one he did have intended to kill him as a child. 

No matter how much he hurt, Malcolm couldn’t hurt Dani that way and he thought it would hurt Nomi too and that was the very last thing he wanted.

Malcolm sighed heavily as he hadn’t even worked or _gone_ to work for that matter. Usually murder was the answer to all that ailed him, but he wouldn’t go to work only to embarrass himself by pleading with Dani to take him back in front of everyone. 

He’d told Gil that he’d needed some time to himself. Malcolm could hear the concern in his boss’s voice but Gil thankfully didn’t ask questions. 

It was now almost nightfall and he had to know where he stood with his partner. Dani wasn’t like his ex, she wouldn’t pretend she wanted to be with him if she didn’t, but he had know just _what_ she wanted. 

Ainsley told him to wait for Dani to talk to him when she felt ready to but Malcolm had never been good at waiting and there wasn’t enough Macallan Single Malt in the Continental US to quell the restlessness that had taken root within him–an echo of what he was used to only now so much worse.

 _Can we talk, please?_ Malcolm texted Dani, he knew he shouldn’t but he had to. He had to know if he still had a chance with her. He figured the worst she could do was leave him on read if she wasn’t ready to talk to him but he hoped that maybe she wanted to talk too.

His phone buzzed a few minutes later. He hurriedly unlocked it only to find a curt: _Not now._ Malcolm took unsteady breaths that left his chest in short bursts. His hand began trembling so much his phone dropped harmlessly to the mattress.

_She hates me._

Malcolm didn’t know what to do. He brought his trembling hand to his heart as if he could physically keep the pain ripping through it inside of him and from taking control entirely.

He stared out unseeingly into his darkened apartment, his tears forming the world’s murkiest kaleidoscope in front of his eyes.

His phone buzzed again and because he was a glutton for punishment, he picked it up. Dani wasn’t the type to break up with someone through text but he was almost sure it was her telling him that she didn’t want anything to do with him. Wiping his eyes, his body stilled when he read: _Nomi’s sick._

He shook his head as the heavy fog of self-pity evaporated instantly. He sat up, feeling much the same way way he did when Gil alerted him of a fresh murder. He felt like he could be useful. _What do you need?_ He texted her back willing his hands to be steady.

 _I need to take care of my baby, that’s it_ , was Dani’s response. Malcolm knew better than to read into what his partner did as he was almost always wrong but he still wasn’t sure she truly didn’t hate him. Their issues were entirely of his making but he wanted to help with Nomi if he could.

The idea of the energetic, lively little girl being sick bothered him–a lot. He didn’t know how serious it was and he didn’t know what was wrong with her. Malcolm also didn’t know anything about taking care of sick children but he still wanted to do something for Nomi.

He wanted to go to them only to be bombarded with his sister’s exasperated voice in his head saying, _“Mal, do not act like a stalker. I know it turned you on when box bitch did it to you but I promise, Dani won’t feel the same. She might arrest you–again.”_

Malcolm ignored that and got out of bed not before googling the most common ailments for toddlers. From his quick research, Nomi could either have a cold, a fever, an upset stomach or some combination of all three. 

He knew this was probably not the best idea but it wasn’t about him trying to get back into Dani’s good graces, it was about Nomi. 

More than anything, Malcolm had wanted to be good enough–worthy enough–of being a father for Dani’s daughter and he didn’t know if he’d ever get that chance but he cared about Nomi deeply–he loved her too–and he wanted this one opportunity to do better for her even if he’d squandered his last chance to do better for her mother.

–––––––––––––––––––

Pulling up to Dani’s building, after just leaving the pharmacy with bags of things he hoped would make Nomi feel better, he didn’t know how this was going to go. This was completely uncharted territory for him. Despite being what amounted to the unhealthiest person alive, Malcolm rarely got sick and he had no experience with children–let alone sick ones. He hadn’t even known what to buy.

As luck would have it–especially his luck which was known to be _horrible_ –he’d run into the same grandmotherly woman from the park that day. She’d kindly asked how his partner and daughter were, Malcolm had ignored the ache in his heart and confessed that Nomi was sick and he didn’t know what to get for her.

The woman just smiled and said that it was normal for little children to pick up bugs here and there. She’d pointed him to the chicken noodle soup as well as Pedialyte, children’s cold medicine and a microwavable and freezable unicorn plush toy–something he didn’t even know existed–that the kindly older woman told him would be good for reducing fevers and it also might cheer Nomi up too. 

Malcolm had thanked the woman profusely as she’d been tremendously helpful and as often as luck hadn’t been on his side other than acting as a kick in the teeth, he’d wondered what it meant–if anything–that tonight it had been.

Returning to the present, Malcolm called Dani hoping she’d pick up for him. She always did even when he’d been a complete nightmare to her, but things were different and as Ainsley had reminded him, he wasn’t entitled to anything.

“Bright? Why are you–" Dani picked up on the third ring, her voice sounding strained.

“Dani, you have every right to be mad at me and if you don’t wanna see me I understand and I don’t blame you but I just came to help with Nomi…I mean, if you’ll let me. I…I bought medicine and some other stuff I thought would help her feel better. If you don’t even wanna look at me, I understand that too. You can just buzz me in and I’ll leave everything by your door.” Malcolm was rambling and maybe he didn’t know what else to say but he wanted her to know that he was trying–that he cared.

Dani didn’t say anything and he thought maybe she’d hung up on him until he heard her sigh deeply, “...Give me a minute.”

––––––––––––––––––

Dani couldn’t believe she was doing this as she opened the door to her building seeing Bright on the other side of it, his hands full of bags from the pharmacy near his place. 

She honestly didn’t want to deal with him but she hated how she reacted to seeing what could only be described as exhaustion and raw sadness cloaking him and reflecting through his wide heavily lashed crystalline eyes. 

His chestnut hair was slicked back and in his black overcoat, dark blue sweatshirt and slim dark jeans, Bright was more dressed up than Dani usually saw him when he came over and something about that like everything else that happened over the span of the last week made her sad too.

Dani appreciated the effort as Bright didn’t have to bring these things for her baby but she didn’t want to deal with _them_ right now. She was already trying to pick up her own pieces and then Nomi waking up with a fever of 100.5, a stuffy nose and a cough. She didn’t have the energy to rehash the what ifs that haunted her. All of her energy was for her baby and it always would be. 

Dani knew little kids got sick, _Mamma_ had walked her through what to do over the phone the first time Nomi got sick as a four month old, but it still didn’t make it any easier as she’d read stories where seemingly innocuous pediatric cold-like symptoms turned into really serious diseases and the worst thing imaginable was anything happening to her baby–her best girl.

Malcolm stared at Dani in a pair of loose pajama pants and an NYPD sweatshirt that swallowed her petite frame, completely taken aback by how tired and drawn she looked. It really made him think about how well his partner hid things–far better than he did. 

Never did he think that Dani dealt with her own grief, her own incomprehensible loss. He would’ve never thought she also had a stress-induced hand tremor like he did and it said just how much she was feeling right now with her daughter being sick that she couldn’t hide it at all.

Malcolm could see the weight on her thin shoulders and he badly wanted to lighten it in any way he could. The only thing that gave him hope that maybe she’d allow it is the tiny diamond at the hollow of her throat.

––––––––––––––––––––––

“Dani, I really wanna help.” Malcolm pleaded yet still drawing courage from that diamond solitaire he’d given her that she hadn’t taken off, glinting in the moonlight. 

He knew what Ainsley had told him not to do, but he always wanted to step up for Dani when she needed it. Just like he couldn’t bear to see her barely holding it together that night in the hospital waiting room, he couldn’t bear to see her right now so quietly distressed and worried about her daughter. He knew she’d probably been in this position before with no one to help and he wanted her to see that she did have someone. She had him.

“Okay,” Dani murmured, agreeing mostly because she couldn’t leave Nomi by herself for too long. Still she could see that Bright was being genuine as once again, she could always tell when he wasn’t. He had the code to her building and a key to her place. He could’ve easily come up and given her the things he’d gotten himself but he didn’t. 

He’d respected her need for distance from him. It wasn’t like the Bright she’d always known who felt entitled to do anything he wanted for no reason other than that he wanted to do it. It felt like he was trying, he was listening and once again, he was paying attention. That meant something, Dani didn’t know what as she was nowhere near ready to go there right now but it did.

–––––––––––––––––––

Following Dani into her apartment, Malcolm’s eyes immediately landed on a small form likely asleep buried underneath a dark green afghan on the couch where they usually spent watching movies. A painful twinge pulled at his heart as he was used to Dani’s sweet little one up and about, running to him for a hug he gratefully accepted.

Malcolm didn’t really didn’t know what to do or what Dani would allow him to do as he placed the bags on her kitchen island. “I, uh, wasn’t sure what’s wrong with her so I got cold medicine. It’s uh, multipurpose, it’s supposed to help fevers and with congestion…”

Dani nodded murmuring her thanks as she attempted to open the cherry flavored children’s cold medicine. Malcolm noticed her hand trembling, making it harder to do so. Without thinking, he covered her hand with his.

It was the same thing he’d done to Dani before. Malcolm hadn’t thought about it then either as he watched her. He’d been watching her, struggling with what he’d allowed himself to feel for the first time but _he_ didn’t matter so much. At that moment, he didn’t care about _his_ feelings. He just knew what it felt like to be so overwhelmed that his body reacted without him and he didn’t want that for her.

“I got it.” Bright’s pale eyes showed nothing but concern as he squeezed her hand gently before taking the cold medicine from her, opening it with ease.

Dani took a deep breath as she held his gaze for a millisecond longer than she intended before unloading all of the other things he’d brought to them. 

She smiled a bit as she picked up the unicorn plush that smelled of lavender. Dani didn’t think Bright knew it but her baby loved unicorns and she was sure it would perk Nomi up when she’d been so listless and unlike herself all day.

“You’re, um, supposed to put it in the freezer, I think, to help with her fever,” Bright said, pulling at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. _He’s anxious._

Dani nodded again as continued with the rest of the things he’d gotten such as chicken soup, Pedialyte and the fancy spring water he kept in his refrigerator. 

She remembered once during their movie nights at his place, Bright had made her tea because she’d teased him about not being a fan of “spicy” water. The next time she and Nomi came over, she’d noticed bottles of this particular brand of spring water in his refrigerator next to his beloved Pellegrino. 

Dani shook her head as to physically clear those mushy thoughts from her mind. She could feel Bright’s ghostly blue eyes on her and she wasn’t about to let herself get sentimental over _water._

She swallowed before facing him, something she hadn’t been ready to do–not this soon. “Thanks again for buying all this. You didn’t have to.” 

“No, I did,” Bright mumbled quietly, meeting her eyes before they drifted down to study the hardwood, transporting her back to that day at the Funeral Director’s convention.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm looked down, unable to hold Dani’s gaze for too long. This felt so much like before when he knew he was knee deep in his own mess because he didn’t know if she’d care if he came back to her with a better apology, a better effort after hurting her feelings that first time.

Before he could lose himself further in his regrets, Malcolm saw Nomi wrapped up in her pink Melody blanket, shuffling toward him.

He squatted down, opening his arms for her automatically. Nomi slumped against his chest, looking up at him. His heart ached as he saw how dull her normally starry brown eyes were and how pale she looked. 

“I heard someone isn’t feeling well,” Malcolm said as he tightened his arms around the tiny toddler, bringing her closer to his chest, feeling her fever though the blanket. 

Nomi blinked up at him, shaking her head. Before bringing her little hands to her mouth, trying to hold in a heavy cough that rattled her small frame. 

Malcolm rubbed Nomi’s back softly, hoping to comfort her at least a little before scooping her up and bringing her to the couch, wrapping the afghan around her.

He was forever amazed at just how _small_ Dani’s little one was. It only reinforced how much he wanted to protect Nomi and how gutted he felt at his father's reminder that he couldn’t–that role was never meant for him.

Dani calmed her hands enough to actually pour the red cold syrup into the little measuring cup as well as the Pedialyte Bright bought in Nomi’s favorite Hello Kitty sippy cup. She needed to pull it together but the fact of the matter was when her baby wasn’t okay, _she_ wasn’t okay.

She’d already given Nomi cough medicine and fever medicine earlier in the day and though her baby was doing a little better than this morning, she was nowhere near herself and Nomi was always restless when she didn’t feel good. 

Dani hoped the multi symptom cold medicine Bright had gotten would be enough to rid Nomi of her cold symptoms for good. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Nomi cuddled close to her partner, wrapped up both blankets with Bright’s arms around her, looking down at her. Bright appeared to be talking to her in that soft way of his but Dani wasn’t close enough to hear.

Just when Dani thought she knew who Bright was, he showed her someone she didn’t know. He didn’t even know she was watching him and she knew this wasn’t an act. Many things the profiler did were performative, overcompensating for things Dani still couldn’t name but he’d never been that way with her daughter. His smiles, his laughter, his hugs were earnest and true–they always were. Bright wasn’t doing this for _her_ benefit, it was for Nomi and Dani didn’t expect it.

Replaying that day she confronted him for ghosting her, Dani was set on believing that Bright was that person who cared more about himself than anyone else–that person she knew him to be before he’d asked her for another chance, but looking at him with her daughter just now, she just wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm glanced up at the clock on Dani’s wall. It was a little after 1 am. His partner had nodded off on the love seat nearby after giving Nomi cold medicine an hour or so ago, encouraging her to open up one more time tonight as it would make her feel better. Dani had only relaxed a bit when Nomi’s fever lessened to a number only slightly above average.

Though she’d tried to hide it for Nomi’s benefit, just because he knew her, Malcolm couldn’t miss the tightness on his partner’s face. Worry in her eyes as she knelt in front of them, gently running her hand over her daughter’s slightly sweaty curls.

“You still like me and Mama?” Nomi whispered suddenly before coughing. Malcolm could hear the cold rattling around in her chest and he softly patted her back. Her big owl eyes though still lacking their usual sparkle were as earnest as ever, looking up at him. Her soft, congested voice the only sound in the apartment.

Malcolm looked down, the little girl’s question taking him completely by surprise. He met her eyes, his heart breaking as he saw _Dani’s_ sad face in hers. Her eyes growing thick with tears just as Dani’s had when he’d upset her too. “Did I do something bad? Did I make you not like Mama?”

Malcolm swallowed thickly, his throat closing. He’d hurt Nomi too. No matter what, he failed the two people he loved most by making them think he didn’t care even though he did–a lot. He was beginning to realize that he didn’t really know _how_ to care–not selflessly anyway.

He couldn’t care for others without thinking of how it would impact him first. That was why he’d pushed Dani away the first time. He couldn’t care about her knowing his feelings were changing and she might not reciprocate them. It happened again. He couldn’t care about Dani and Nomi–he couldn’t love them–knowing there was a chance Dani would leave and take away the only real sense of family he’d ever had. He didn’t know _why_ he was the way he was, but Malcolm hated himself for making Nomi think that she was anything less than the perfect little person she was.

Just then, Malcolm couldn’t help but see himself as a child as he looked at Dani’s little girl. He too had thought himself to be the blame for everything that went wrong and he never wanted Nomi to feel that way–not when both she and Dani had never been anything but the only light he’d ever known.

“No, of course not,” he said, gently cupping her warm, flushed cheek the same way he’d seen Dani do hundreds of times. “I promise, nothing was your fault–nothing could ever be your fault. It was all my fault.”

Nomi angled closer to him, hugging the cold unicorn plush tighter to her chest, trying to sit up at bit more so she could look at him. Her big brown eyes studying his face, an expression he’d also seen on Dani’s face when he told her something she _hoped_ was the truth, “...You sure ‘cause Mama was sad...I don’t want Mama to be sad.”

Malcolm ran his fingers through Nomi’s damp curls, unable to feel any worse than he did now, seeing the hurt and heaviness on the little girl’s doll-like face. This was what being selfish got him. This was what his desperate self-preservation got him. “That’s my fault too and I don’t wanna make you or your Mama sad either. As long as you two want me to be here, I will be. I won’t leave you.”

“Really?” Nomi squeaked, sniffling before he reached over to the coffee table, grabbing a tissue. Despite her eyes being a little droopy and a little drowsy, he could see the hopefulness etched in them. Hopefulness that tore at his heart because as with Dani, he could see that Nomi wanted him around too. 

“Really,” Malcolm smiled softly as he wiped her nose gently before kissing the top of her head. Nomi stared at him a bit longer before resting her head against his chest, cuddling into him a little more.

Malcolm had given up on hope and he’d long stopped wishing for the things that he’d always thought were beyond his reach but now more than anything, he wished for the chance to make good on that promise he’d given to Dani’s precious little one. He desperately hoped that Dani would allow him that.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani shifted awake, realizing that she must have fallen asleep. Looking over to the adjacent loveseat where her partner sat with her slumbering daughter in his arms, doing nothing but intently watching over her.

It didn’t appear Bright had moved since she accidentally drifted off, once Nomi’s fever had lessened after the last dose of medicine for the night. He’d stayed the night with them when he could’ve easily left once she and Nomi had fallen asleep. She didn’t know why he hadn’t done that.

Dani stepped over to them, squatting down and pressing the thermometer to her baby’s forehead, trying to ignore the tugging in her chest at the way Nomi curled into Bright with her little hand clutching the sleeve of his sweatshirt over the now room temperature unicorn plush he’d bought her. 

An audible sigh of relief escaped her lips when she saw that Nomi’s fever had finally broken and was back to normal.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s go get you cleaned up,” she said softly as she gently roused her baby, taking her out of Bright’s arms knowing that Nomi had finally sweat out her fever and she needed freshening up. Dani rubbed Nomi’s back soothingly as her baby whined sleepily, clinging to her. Nomi’s arms and legs holding her in the tightest grip for someone so little. “We’re gonna get you a bath and some fresh jammies, how’s that sound?”

Nomi didn’t answer, only rubbing her face in the crook of her mother’s neck, burying her fingers in Dani’s hair. Malcolm stood, hoping Dani would let him stay to do _something_. He didn’t know what but he still didn’t want to leave them. “Um…do you need help with anything?” he rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt, keeping his hands moving and his nervous energy at bay.

“You can toss the blankets in the hamper down the hall and put her cup in the dishwasher, if you want…” Dani finally looked at him over Nomi’s curly head. It didn’t appear that she knew what to do either. 

Malcolm nodded just before Dani disappeared down the hall to the bathroom, trying not to flashback to that film reel that played over and over in his mind when the two of them behaved like strangers.

–––––––––––––––––

“You wanna stay in Mama’s room?” Dani asked, knowing the answer to that as she’d already bought a clean and disinfected Melody to her room as she tucked Nomi into her bed, pulling the covers over her. Her little one already feeling a bit better just to be in fresh pajamas–soft yellow ones with the little footies.

Her baby nodded as Dani ran a hand through Nomi’s fluffy, freshly washed curls, impossibly relieved to see Nomi look more like herself than she did all of yesterday. Her cheeks weren’t flushed pink anymore and her eyes weren’t as dull. She was sleepy and she still had a runny nose and a bit of cough but Nomi would be back to her happy little self in a few days.

Dani sat at the edge of the bed, watching her little one snuggle Melody closer, rubbing her face on the push as she continued running her fingers through Nomi’s curls, helping her fall back to sleep.

Though Nomi only had a cold, times like these really made Dani think about parents with truly _sick_ children. As strong as she was, Dani realized that there would be no way she wouldn’t crumble under the weight of something like that. Leaning down to kiss Nomi’s head, she made a mental note to light a candle for them next time she went to mass with _Mamma_ and _Grandmé._

–––––––––––––––––

Stepping into the kitchen, Dani was surprised to find that Bright was still there. She honestly thought he would’ve slipped out by now. His head down as he poured what she could smell was ginger tea into one of her mugs from the cabinet, pushing it in her direction.

It was sweet of him to make her tea, especially tea known for its immune support properties. She remembered tea being something of a peace offering between them and she wondered if that was what he was doing now.

“You’ve been here all night…you can go home, get some sleep,” Dani said after a moment, trying to fill the painful silence, grateful that her hands were wrapped around the mug so she wouldn’t fidget. 

Bright smiled, a painful and humorless one that said nothing was funny and nothing hadn’t ever been. “I haven’t slept in three days, Dani.”

“Because of me,” Dani said quietly, waiting for him to look at her. He didn’t. He just continued to busy himself with the tea, returning the leftover ginger root and lemon to the refrigerator.

She knew when Bright was in pain, he turned that pain on himself. She’d seen it firsthand after witnessing him say harsh, accusatory things she knew he didn’t mean to Gil in the middle of the squad room. Bright hadn’t been handling the aftermath of his kidnapping well. He’d been holding that pain inside too and it all culminated in him locking himself in the conference room, ignoring her desperate pleas as he contemplated doing something too horrible for words. 

Dani didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t sleep. She didn’t want him to hurt over her.

“Because of me,” Malcolm corrected just as quietly, his voice hardly above a whisper, meeting her eyes momentarily before they drifted right back to the tiny diamond at her throat. “Why didn’t you take it off? Your necklace, I mean.”

Malcolm knew he’d spoken without thinking. He watched Dani’s hand unconsciously go to her neck, lightly touching the diamond pendant as if suddenly remembering it was there. 

“I…I didn’t think about taking it off.” Dani held his gaze, her expression was open as it had always had been. His partner had never tried to hide from him even before she knew him. 

Malcolm remembered seeing Dani’s vulnerability for the first time once he’d offered to help her and knowing all the things he knew now, he would bet that not many had. That was all it took for her to want to trust him–showing he cared.

“I’m sorry for shutting you out,” Malcolm blurted out, suddenly feeling the urgency to say what been on his mind since the moment she’d walked out of his loft. 

He had many regrets. He regretted the way his words aimed to hurt, wound and maim when he was mad and how he’d fired those words at her each time she’d only been trying to support him. How he’d always been so far ahead the curve, so far ahead of everyone until that curve became a sphere and he was spinning around in a spiral of frustration with only himself to blame. He did have many regrets but he couldn’t let losing the only person he’d ever truly loved to be yet another one.

“You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve it the first time either and I know I look selfish and thoughtless but I swear, I didn’t mean to…” Malcolm felt so much like he did that time in the morgue knowing what he had to say but not really knowing _how_ to say it. “Dani…I…all I know is being hurt but for the first time in my life…with you and Nomi, I felt _happy._ I felt whole. I didn’t feel so broken anymore and I knew I’d lose that feeling, I knew it would go away.”

Dani exhaled slowly, her mouth opened and then closed. She looked as though she were trying to find the right words to respond to all he’d just confessed to her. Malcolm wasn’t used to talking about his feelings. He was used to burying them but she deserved better than that. She deserved to know the truth.

“I’ve _never_ wanted you to go away. I never wanted to shut you out but you’ve done that twice and it’s not fair. It’s not fair that any day you could up and choose to shut me out of your life after I’ve let you into mine,” Dani said quietly, steadily as she abandoned her tea to face him fully. 

Malcolm couldn’t read her–he never could–but his partner’s words, while they weren’t sharp by any means, they pierced his heart all the same because she was right. He knew it as he felt the crushing weight of his many mistakes consume him.

_She trusted you and you let her down. You always do._

Malcolm shook his head feeling the unshakeable heaviness inundate his entire being as his hand began to tremble–thankfully behind the counter and out of view. This was why he held everything in. Why he didn’t say what he meant because it always lead him here. Heartbreak and the crushing reality of another day waking up alone.

He knew this was probably the end of the road for him with Dani and it should’ve been. He couldn’t keep asking for chances and doing nothing with them but causing her pain. Doing the same things everyone had always done to him.

_I’m no better than them._

As much as he knew it wouldn’t change anything, Malcolm still had more honesty to give her, “I can’t think of a life without you in it and not just that, I mean, a life where you’re not more than my partner. That’s why I was so angry the first time I destroyed the whiteboard. I didn’t have much but it was better than nothing and then I didn’t have that either and looking at you–looking at everything I could ever want but could never have…I guess what I’m trying to say is that all of the decisions I’ve made have been _terrible_ but from the beginning all I’ve ever wanted was you.”

Dani sighed as Malcolm saw something sad and sweet radiating from her her dark eyes, giving him an excruciating hope that perhaps he hadn’t reached the end of their story–a story that didn’t have the happy ending he’d dreamt of, “You tell me I’m the one you like talking to and then you stop. I’ve always made time for you. Why do you think you can’t tell me how you feel? Why do you think I wouldn’t wanna hear it?”

“I guess I don’t know how. Talking to you about life has always been easy–too easy–but talking to you about me–about _my feelings_ –that’s harder because you make me feel things I don’t understand and I’ve never been able to go there without feeling…” _Exposed and vulnerable._ That’s what Malcolm couldn’t bring himself to say as his voice trailed off. His gaze averted, no longer able to look her in the eyes as he poured his heart–himself–out to her entirely.

Dani stared at her partner–more accurately–the crown of his head as Bright studied the specks of metallic brown granite on her counter top. She could see him fold into himself just as he did that first time he upset her at the funeral director’s convention and that first time he asked for another chance to do better. He wasn’t expecting her to forgive him.

She didn’t want to forgive him but that _thing_ she felt flared in her chest with painful intensity. That _thing_ that always resurfaced every time Bright showed himself to her. Not the overconfident brainiac or the suave smooth talker. _Him._ The one she found fractured and flawed but no less worthy.

Dani had to tell him what had been on her mind and in her heart since she honestly didn’t know when, “Bright, I’m not gonna leave you. You _can_ be honest with me without being afraid. I’m not like your last girlfriend, I’m here because I love you. That’s it.”

She’d kept those feelings to herself because she’d had no reason to believe Bright would feel the same but now more than ever, she felt like he needed to know. 

He needed to know this _mattered._

–––––––––––––––––––

_I’m here because I love you._

The noise that had been ever present and at unbearable decibel levels long before he knew her and ever since she left quieted instantly as all Malcolm could hear were the words he never imagined coming from anyone–let alone a woman as perfect as Dani.

No one had ever told him that. No one had ever told him they loved him. The closest he’d gotten was his ex saying she had “feelings” for him–a vague, catch-all term that could’ve meant anything but to her, had meant nothing as she’d only said it to get information about her sister, the infamous girl in the box.

It was then Malcolm realized what he’d always known but couldn’t do. He had to stop running from her. _Dani loved him_ and he loved her too. Nothing could get in the way of that– _he_ couldn’t get in the way of that.

Malcolm knew he was staring at his partner as if he hadn’t heard her correctly judging by the little smile peaking up from the corner of her full lips. He opened his mouth to say exactly what he should’ve said to her before things got complicated, before he made it so and now when she could hear it, “I love you too. _I do_ but I don’t think I know _how_ to love you the way you deserve and I...I want the chance to learn. Please?” 

Dani pushed the barstool back, walking behind the island. Bright looked at her like a little boy who’d wished upon a star only to see his wishes come true right before his eyes. Disbelief and naked _hope_ filled a face that was almost as familiar as her own. His words were unsure but indelibly honest.

She reached for his hands, squeezing them gently to calm the tremors. “I can do that just please…be honest with me. About everything because we’re partners,” Dani whispered, emotion breaking her voice. 

Bright didn’t respond right away. He only stared, his pale eyes sweeping over her face. Dani couldn’t tell he was lost in trying to memorize the moment or if he was looking for some tell that she wouldn’t take it all back.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm nodded, letting it sink in and settle over him. Dani not only loved him but she _accepted_ him. She accepted that he didn’t have it all figured out yet and she wanted to wait _with_ him until he did. Never did he believe someone would offer him that. She loved him unconditionally.

_That’s what this is…_

He’d never known love could exist without a price until this very moment. He didn’t know he could give to someone who was willing to give back. 

How could he? Malcolm had all the scars of doing everything he could to make himself loved when the other person had no intention of loving him. He didn’t care how poorly he was treated. Maybe if he tried a little harder, begged a little more or made himself just a little more accommodating, he’d get the love he’d sought but he didn’t–certainly not from Eve or anyone else before her.

Not even his parents could love him unconditionally and he never expected anyone else to either. Gil had always been there for him and as wonderful as his surrogate father was, Malcolm even doubted at times if Gil would still love him like a son if he were no longer useful to their unit.

He stared into his partner’s achingly beautiful face as she held his hands realizing that love wasn’t supposed to make him feel weak. It was supposed to make him stronger and he’d never felt as strong as he did in this moment, looking at his future in front of him.

Malcolm wanted to pull his weight because he didn’t want to let Dani down anymore. He wanted to love her with a fullness that removed all traces of his fear, anxiety and insecurity and that wouldn’t be easy because he didn’t love himself–he scarcely _liked_ himself. He’d need to learn how to do that too and he would or he’d die trying.

“Mama? Bright?” Nomi’s small slightly congested voice called from Dani’s bedroom just as Malcolm was about to vow that he’d do any and everything she asked of him.

Dani smiled up him, squeezing his hands once more, before turning in the direction of her daughter. It was a secret smile that promised more of this normal he’d felt so incredibly lost without. A normal that constantly reminded him regardless of what his mind told him, he _could_ be more than what he was if he chose to be and after continuously choosing less, the choice was simple–it always had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs inspiring this chapter are "this is me trying" and "cardigan" both by Taylor Swift.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain mentions of domestic abuse and also adult content so if that makes you at all uncomfortable please proceed with caution.

Though Dani had forgiven him and given him a second chance for a second chance, Malcolm realized that there was one other thing he had to do as he walked into the M.A.C Cosmetics store in Times Square. He was supposed to be at the crime lab but he’d taken a small detour hoping he could get in and out before Gil noticed he wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

The lipstick Nomi had put in his pocket, he’d lost it–well it wasn’t lost exactly, he just wasn’t going back to Claremont to get it. 

He wasn’t allowing Martin the type of access that had almost cost him everything and he didn’t think Dani would want it anyway. That brought him here to a makeup store, surrounded by displays of things he had no name for and blaring Top 40 music that made his head pound.

Before Malcolm could open his mouth to flag down one of the black clad sales associates milling about the minimally styled space, he heard a familiar “ _Mal?_ ”

Malcolm groaned internally and cursed his once again horrible luck before turning to face his sister. Ainsley crossing her arms, regarding him with a bemused smirk. “Ains, what are you doing here?” 

Malcolm realized that was a dumb question as Ainsley spent a not-so-small fortune on makeup and it was him who was horribly out of place.

“I needed another bottle of Fix+, what are you doing here? Getting some concealer for those eyebags, living dead boy?” Ainsley’s smirk intensified. Malcolm clamped his jaw shut, forcing himself to smile and wonder why nothing for him could ever be easy.

“No, I’m here for…Dani,” Malcolm admitted, recalling his previous conversation with his sister who shockingly heard him out and offered sage advice.

Ainsley put her hands on her narrow hips in exasperation–a gesture that echoed their mother pointed toe stiletto tapping and all, “I thought I told you no ‘I’m sorry’ gifts. You _cannot_ AmEx your way out of being an asshole and you can’t bribe your way back into her skinnies.”

Malcolm sighed, feeling another confession coming on. “Believe it or not, I don’t want to be like that and I’m not trying to bribe my way into anywhere. Truth is until Dani, I didn’t even realize I was being an asshole. I mean, it’s not like we didn’t learn from the best.”

While he wasn’t completely blaming their parents for his mistakes–something he realized he’d done all too often–with Dani, he really was starting from scratch. She’d never judged him for who his parents were, she judged him for who _he_ was and that was hard. He wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t used to only having himself to blame if he screwed up.

“Can’t argue there,” Ainsley allowed as when you’re comprised of both Milton and Whitly DNA, the asshole gene was embedded into your very essence, though she was still a bit skeptical over Malcolm’s sudden shift into self-reflection. “But who are you and what have you done with Malcolm Whitly?”

 _Her_ brother didn’t do self-reflection or anything that required him pointing the finger at himself instead of everyone else. Malcolm firmly believed he was always right and Malcolm firmly believed that being called out or disagreed with was a crime against God and nature.

Maybe Dani _was_ a miracle worker?

“I don’t wanna do that anymore. I don’t wanna hurt the people I love and I was honest with Dani. I went to her.” Malcolm ignored Ainsley opening her mouth to object to him doing exactly what she said not to do _again._ “I didn’t act like a stalker. Nomi was sick and I wanted to help take care of her and Dani and I ended up talking.”

Ainsley titled her head, softening as that was shockingly sweet of him though she couldn’t picture _Malcolm_ helping with a sick toddler or that he’d even know how, “But why are you here buying her gifts if you guys are okay now?”

“This is more of a simple replacement.”

“Do I even wanna know?” Ainsley sighed, though she totally did.

“Nomi put one of Dani’s lipsticks in my pocket and I left it at–" Malcolm looked around careful to not be overheard by one of the other makeup buying patrons. “Dad’s…place.”

“Seriously?” Ainsley stared at her brother as this would only happen to him and she was fairly certain their dad had been a dick about it as was his default. “Do you at least know the name of the lipstick you lost? And the undertone because that’s super important.”

Malcolm looked at her, “What are you telling me? It was a _brown_ lipstick, why does it need a name?”

“But what kind of brown?” Ainsley rolled her eyes, speaking slowly as if to a small child before pulling him to a display and picking out identical looking three brown lipsticks. Rolling up the sleeve of her navy chiffon blouse, she swatched them on the inside of her arm. “Look this one has a warm undertone, this one is more rosy and this one is cooler toned. Which one looks like the one she had?”

“That makes no sense.” Malcolm continued to stare at his sister blankly.

Ainsley pushed out an annoyed breath, tossing the three lipsticks into a little black shopping basket and giving it to him. “How you got _two_ women to date you, I have no idea.”

“Hey! I’ve had more than two–"

“Before you even start, the term girlfriend could be used very loosely with one of them. Blonde blowup doll is much more apropos,” Ainsley cut him off, casually tossing more brown lipsticks that looked like all the other brown lipsticks in Malcolm’s opinion in the basket. “The fact that you were getting some and still found time to be emo proves she didn’t have much motion in the ocean–if you know what I mean–and that ocean was probably more of sand pit. You know, dry and–"

“ _Okay_ , I get the idea.” Malcolm cut her off quickly, his face growing red. “But do you have to be crass all the time?”

“Pipe down Mr. Manners, you’re acting like mom.” He was also looking like their mom, the pissy expression fully in place.

“That’s a low blow and you know it,” Malcolm countered.

Ainsley snorted, “Please, _Evanka Frump_ was not that wild–you would know. Which brings me back to my original point, you really should’ve just paid for it.”

She honestly wouldn’t rag on her brother and his hilariously bad previous situationship every time if it didn’t irritate him so much. Ainsley thought Malcolm would’ve learned to brush it off by now considering she did this every time she saw him, but it was clear he was still sore over it and he should’ve been because box bitch was an embarrassing mistake even by his standards.

Malcolm pursed his lips as that was a particularly harsh insult even for his sister, “You know, Ains? It’s very rewarding being mature, you should try it.”

“Your favorite blonde blowup doll was empty headed and gross. I mean, if it bleats like a goat…” Ainsley shrugged, swatching a shade of muted pink on her arm. “But seriously, letting _mom_ dictate your love life is akin to eating sushi from the gas station and even that would go down better than box bitch.”

“You’re gross,” Malcolm rolled his eyes, his jaw flexing.

“And right.” Ainsley replied breezily, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Just help me find the right lipstick for my girlfriend so I can leave.” Malcolm said impatiently, looking down at the basket Ainsley had given him realizing that he had about six lipsticks and no idea if any of them were like the one he’d lost.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Ainsley snarked before tossing the pink lipstick in the basket though that one was for her. “Not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud to hear you call a normal girl with not even a hint of psychosis your girlfriend because for you–that’s huge.”

Just as her brother was about to say something incredulous and lacking in self-awareness, Ainsley watched him reach into the pocket of his gunmetal gray Prada trousers, a sugary sweet expression breaking over his face as he checked who was calling him. 

It must’ve been said girlfriend as even Malcolm’s “hey,” sounded caressing and unlike any way Ainsley had ever heard him talk to anyone. Her brows raised curiously as his lovestruck expression morphed into something serious almost at once before he clicked off. 

“Everything alright?” 

“No…I have to go,” Malcolm said, pushing the basket into her arms before tapping on his phone rapidly. “I’ve Apple Cash-ed you some money, buy these and drop them off at my place.” 

Before she could agree, Ainsley watched her brother disappear into a poof of Tom Ford cologne and hair gel. 

–––––––––––––––––

Days off when Gil didn’t have a new case for them or when they weren’t investigating an open one were usually spent running errands. It was too cold for the farmer’s market so the next best thing was Trader Joe’s where she could get Nomi’s favorite Watermelon Jerky and herself the Watermelon Overnight Face Mask. 

Though spending her off days like this made her feel like a total mom, Dani supposed she was exactly that. 

Unbuckling Nomi from her carseat, adjusting her baby who’d fallen asleep during the car ride, Dani slipped the bag of groceries over her shoulder while careful not to disturb Nomi who had her little arms wrapped about Dani’s neck as she kicked the car door shut–something else that made her feel like a total mom.

Trying to hurry into her building to get them both out of the chilly fall air, especially as Nomi had just gotten over her cold, she heard a voice she hadn’t in four years calling her by an alias she hadn’t used in just as long, “Hey Erika.”

Her ex-boyfriend and Nomi’s biological father–Kaleb Dawson. She kept walking, pretending she hadn’t heard him. 

Dani knew what he was about. She met him after being loaned out to Vice after her regrettable stint in Narcotics. Taking the job then was her way of proving to the brass that she was as good a cop as everyone thought she was–that it wasn’t a mistake to assign her to a specialized unit fresh out of the academy. 

She hadn’t expected to get mixed up with a strip club owner with ties to organized crime. After finding out about about her daughter, Dani found the courage to tell Gil, her new boss at the time, what had been going on–how Kaleb used to put his hands on her when he was angry, when he was frustrated. What started as hands gripping her arms hard enough to leave bruises, progressively got worse and those unpredictable moods would turn on a dime where she and no one else would be safe from him.

Dani didn’t even have the courage to tell her mom what had been happening to her, but she told Gil who listened intently and without judgement– promising he’d make sure she and her baby would be safe. That was when Dani knew she could trust the older man with kind eyes and a certain steeliness that reminded her so much of her father.

Holding Nomi’s head to her chest, aware of how fast her heart was beating, Dani barely noticed Kaleb still trying to talk to her, “Oh, I forgot. It’s _Detective Powell._ Things certainly have changed for you. From playing a coked out waitress to playing a mom…what a difference four years makes. Who’s the lucky guy? Someone else you lied to?”

Dani took a steadying breath trying not to let those comments affect her. She’d disarmed him undercover and he couldn’t let go of the fact that he’d been with a cop who was collecting intel the entire time to shut his club down on account of the the drugs, weapons and women being trafficked out of it.

Dani tried to shake the unmitigated dread seeping through her off as Kaleb was just trying to get in her head and intimidate her the way he used to. She focused on keeping Nomi’s head down because he couldn’t see her. She wouldn’t let him connect the dots. She just needed to get to her door. One foot in front of the other that was _all_ she needed.

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani had never been so happy to see the kindly security guard who opened the door to her building for them. 

Kaleb knew what limits to push and what not to–he always did. He wouldn’t try to follow her into her building. He just wanted her to know he was there and mission accomplished as she locked the door behind her.

Letting the groceries fall to the floor, Dani tightened her told on her daughter, unsuccessfully trying to keep the tremors currently wracking her entire body at bay. She buried her face in Nomi’s soft curls, taking a few moments to get herself under control. She realized Nomi was shaking too and all because she felt her Mama upset. 

Dani forced herself to pull it together. If she couldn’t be strong for anyone, she had to be strong for her baby. Her hands weren’t steady but she made them dial Gil.

“I–I saw him,” her voice cracked just as Gil answered on the first ring. Her boss swore as he knew quite well who _him_ was.

“Where are you? Where’s Nomi?” Gil asked and if she could see him, Dani knew he was now sitting up in his chair.

“We’re at home. I’m gonna get our bags packed. We’re gonna go to my mom’s,” Dani said, already standing up and heading to her bedroom.

“Powell, you stay where you are.” 

“But Gil–"

“Powell, I’m not asking,” Gil said using his lieutenant voice and though this was the same man her daughter called Papa, she still knew better than to disobey a superior officer. “Listen, I’m gonna get him, I’m gonna put out an APB and I’ll book him myself for violating the order–I promise you that but your mom lives over an hour away and if Kaleb found you here, he can find you there too.”

Dani took a deep breath knowing her boss was right as she hugged Nomi closer–he always was. “…He’s probably in trouble, there’s no other reason he’s popping up like this.”

“Yeah, well he hasn’t seen trouble yet,” Gil threatened lowly. “I’m gonna make some calls and you just stay calm…and keep my girl calm too. You know, what? Call Bright. I sent him out about a half hour ago but something tells me he found something else to do.”

Dani shook her head as if Gil could actually see her, “No…I….he’s got family stuff I’m sure. I don’t wanna bother him with this.”

She and Bright had reached an understanding almost a week ago. So many things they didn’t talk about were now out in the open for them to work through, but Dani wasn’t used to letting others into this part of her life. She could trust Bright but relying on him–that felt different somehow.

Bright had comforted her once before and she’d appreciated him for it but she didn’t know…

Gil sighed heavily, “I know Bright is…Bright…but he wants to be there for you. Let him.” 

With that her boss clicked off and Dani supposed he was right.

 _I don’t think I know how to love you…the way you deserve. I–I want the chance to learn,_ she remembered that morning in her kitchen after Bright spent the night holding her baby for no reason other than that he loved Nomi too and wanted her to feel better.

She’d never seen him so open, so vulnerable, so completely devoid of masks–of walls or all the things he used to keep her out when all she wanted to do was come closer.

As much as Dani didn’t want to rely on Bright–she knew that she could. As much as she wanted him to trust her, she had to trust him too–she couldn’t just say she did.

“Hey,” Bright picked up instantly, the warmth in his voice chasing away the coldness that had seeped into her bones since her ex slithered back into her life. He didn’t appear to be at home or at the precinct especially as she heard the loud pop music blaring in the background.

“Hey…um…” she couldn’t even get the words out and she didn’t know what she’d say as she adjusted her arms around Nomi who also perked up at the sound of Bright’s voice..

“Are you okay?” She could hear concern edging his words.

“I…” Dani still couldn’t say what she needed to. She didn’t know how to explain something no one other than Gil knew about her. She didn’t know if the moment she started talking she’d burst into tears.

“You want me to come over?” Bright asked, though it seemed he was already leaving wherever he was judging by the city noise on the busy street.

“Yeah.”

––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm knew something was wrong. He heard it in Dani’s voice. He would’ve heard it if he hadn’t long been so attuned to her. 

Because of his inability to stop making mistakes, he knew he was probably back on probation with her but that didn’t stop him from using his key to her apartment. He would’ve waited for her to let him in but he couldn’t. He had to see that she was okay–that she wasn’t hurt.

Opening the door to Dani’s apartment, he surveyed his surroundings, checking to see if anything was out of place. Nothing except a bag of groceries on the floor which was strange as his partner would never leave fresh produce unattended. 

Picking up the bag to bring it to the kitchen, his eyes landed on Dani sitting in the living room on one of the love seats, her body curled around Nomi protectively. The two of them clutching each other.

Malcolm forced himself not to rush over and startle them. He didn’t want to make any sudden movements. He had no idea what’s going on but he couldn’t help but feel like his suspicions were correct and it made him incredibly worried.

Malcolm knelt in from of them, his hands on Dani’s knees, “Hey…what’s going on?” 

Dani lifted her head from Nomi’s curls, fear etched in her pretty face. “He was here,” she whimpered and Malcolm knew exactly who the _he_ was. The ex she’d told him about. The one who’d get angry and aggressive. The one who hurt her. Nomi’s biological father.

Malcolm tried to remain calm as this wasn’t about him. The anger–that kind he didn’t like to think he was capable of–began to rise steadily as he thought about someone coming to threaten–to take–what was his.

“He spoke to me, I know he’s just trying to mess with my head again. He’s trying to show me that he can,” Dani’s whispered voice shook, meeting his gaze as she adjusted her arms around Nomi, reflexively holding the little girl tighter to her chest as though she’d disappear if she didn’t.

Malcolm nodded as he knew very well what mind games felt like–how powerless they made him feel. “Gil’s gonna handle it,” Dani said rising fluidly with Nomi still huddled in her arms.

“Until then, please come stay with me.” Malcolm didn’t want to sound like he was begging though that was exactly what the words sounded like to him. He just couldn’t leave here not knowing what would happen to his found family. He hadn’t done much to deserve them but they were and he just couldn’t stand idly by.

Dani shook her head, her voice resolute, “I don’t wanna impose. We’re gonna stay at my mom’s.”

Malcolm knew shutting down when he saw it, but he had to let her know that he was here. He hadn’t always been. He’d been too scared to risk getting closer. He’d been trying to protect himself because that was all he knew how to do, but none of that mattered anymore and all he wanted was to protect them, “I wouldn’t have offered, if I didn’t mean it.”

Dani’s curls bounced with the shaking of her head once more as she walked toward her bedroom, her trembling hand patting Nomi’s back softly. “You don’t have to. We’ll be okay at my mom’s.”

“ _Babe_ , please,” the endearment rolled off his tongue with an ease Malcolm didn’t expect as he covered her hand with his. Nomi lifted her head from underneath Dani’s chin for the first time as her big brown eyes studied him. Malcolm saw her fear and confusion too and he wanted both of them to know that it would be okay– _he’d_ make it okay. “Just one night. I need to know you’re safe.”

Malcolm knew Dani’s mom lived in Long Island and he also knew that if something happened, he wouldn’t be able to get to them quick enough. He had so much experience carrying the guilt of knowing what his father did to innocent people and how he couldn’t get to them–he couldn’t save them. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to Dani and Nomi and he wasn’t there.

“I’ll help you pack your things,” Malcolm suggested waiting for Dani to nod in agreement but she just stood with Nomi in her arms, rooted in the same spot. 

He suddenly felt transported back to that day at work during one of their first cases together–the Haitian cartel. Malcolm didn’t know why Dani had been so adamant–why she was taking things so personally but like most things about her, he’d been curious and instead of profiling her, he’d offered to help.

It wasn’t just because he’d been curious about his pretty co-worker, Malcolm did genuinely want to help her. He remembered the walls evaporating before his eyes at the offer and he didn’t think he would–at least not so soon but he saw Dani then–just like her saw her now. That day in the conference room, he could tell she hadn’t had many people to lean on and he could tell the same now.

Malcolm ached for her and it only made him want to keep stepping up for all the times he was too scared, too foolish, too selfish to do what he should’ve, “Just go get your things, I’ll help with Nomi. Okay?”

He waited, watching as his words sunk in and he saw something other than fear in Dani’s dark eyes. 

“I got her,” Malcolm said softly, his hand never leaving hers on Nomi’s back as she nodded, handing her daughter over to him who wrapped her little arms around his neck.

Dani stood for a moment biting back the terror at her daughter not being close to her, feeling like if she let Nomi out of her sight for a moment, her best girl– _her life_ –would be ripped away from her. 

Before she could tell Bright that she’d changed her mind, that she and Nomi would be fine on their own the way they’d always been, she watched her baby rub her little face against Bright’s cheek and the gentle smile adorning his face as he kissed Nomi’s temple. 

Nomi was so comfortable with him and it never failed to surprise Dani as their little world had always consisted of the two of them. Her baby tucked her head under Bright’s chin, sniffing him in that way of hers–that little thing Nomi always did to her.

Dani could see that her baby was comforted as Bright always smelled like “vanilla and the fireplace” according to Nomi and regardless of everything, Dani knew her daughter would be protected.

–––––––––––––––––––

“You and Mama are gonna stay with me tonight, okay?” Malcolm set Nomi on her feet, squatting down to her eye-level with her. Nomi nodded gravely, looking so very much like the Dani he saw every day at work. “So can you tell me what you bring to your _Nonna’s_ house?”

Nomi nodded once again, her big brown eyes the picture of seriousness the same way her mother’s often were. Malcolm watched the little girl calmly walk over to the rack on the wall in her light purple and white unicorn themed room, taking her pastel blue and pink Hershel backpack off it. 

As Nomi went in the direction of her drawer, he took the opportunity to look around. His eyes landed on the Tiffany bear he’d given her some months ago–only it was housed in a display case on top of her little bookshelf which was just very _Dani_. Beside the imprisoned Teddy bear was a photo. Malcolm found himself unconsciously moving closer to get a better look.

It was a framed photo of Dani and newborn Nomi. From Malcolm’s estimation, it must’ve been taken minutes after Nomi’s birth. He took in his partner cradling the tiny pink bundle close to her chest. She looked exhausted but soft radiance illuminating her face as she stared down at her child blinded him. It was a look of utter and complete love, he would’ve doubted its existence if he hadn’t seen it for himself. An exposed nerve of longing he wasn’t ready to think about tore through him unexpectedly.

“Jammies and socks.” Nomi opened her drawer, bringing him back to reality before walking over to him and putting the neatly folded pink pajamas and little white socks in the backpack he held open. Malcolm smiled as Nomi proudly held up a pair of tiny Totoro slippers, “And these too ‘cause Mama said I got sick ‘cause cold bare feet.”

His smile widened finding her to be too adorable for words, as Nomi’s little brow creased, appearing to be deep in thought and considering the validity of her mother’s logic. Malcolm smoothed the space between her furrowed brows with a gentle fingertip, drawing her own dimpled smile before watching the precocious little one go into another bag–this one over filled with assorted hair products.

Malcolm wondered how someone so small would need so much but like Dani, Nomi did have a lot of hair–a little lion mane of ringlets that fell to her shoulders–and he also wondered if that was something he should probably familiarize himself with as well. As with his lack of knowledge concerning "cute things for little girls," there were probably many more things he didn’t know.

“That’s it!” Nomi announced tapping on his leg after Malcolm wandered over to her closet finding it filled with Dani-like clothing. Mostly little earth toned sweaters and dark jeans. He pulled out a gray cable knit sweater and black leggings, putting them in the backpack along with another outfit–hoping he’d be able to convince Dani to stay longer than just one night.

“That’s it?” Malcolm asked with mock disbelief, furrowing his brows drawing Nomi’s hiccupy giggles. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Oh–" Nomi’s big dark eyes widened suddenly, holding up her constant companion, “Can Melody come? Mama doesn’t let me bring her to school. She’s too big.” 

“Of course,” Malcolm mused her curly ponytail as he squatted down once more, happy that Nomi appeared to be okay now and hoping that in some way he was able to make it so.

He helped Nomi put her arms through her now fully stocked backpack and straightened her little blue pea coat as Dani often would.

Tucking Melody under one arm, Nomi grabbed a hold of his hand as he stood back up, “Ready! Let’s go, Bright!”

Malcolm grinned allowing himself to be marched out of the room by the small yet undoubtedly mighty Powell, feeling like he finally was doing better.

––––––––––––––––––

Dani hadn’t shared much with him about everything and while Malcolm wasn’t trying to profile her, he knew she wasn’t okay. He could see it in her eyes–things she’d long buried now rushed to the surface. 

He knew there was more to the story with her ex suddenly coming back around but he wouldn’t push her. After all, she’d never done that to him when he was upset. She was always patient and understanding even when he hadn’t deserved such treatment. Even when he lashed out at her for the things he couldn’t control–the feelings he couldn’t come to terms with.

Malcolm shook his head. His mistakes weren’t what was most important as he watched Dani on his couch, wrapped up in a blanket. Whatever she felt, he wished he could take it away and it hurt that he couldn’t.

Even if Dani wasn’t ready to open up, Malcolm figured he could still help. He could keep Nomi occupied which he certainly didn’t mind doing. 

Hoisting the tiny toddler onto the kitchen island after clearing away the takeout he’d ordered to hopefully make tonight feel more normal–the way things used to be before he messed up and made them both think he didn’t want them around. Dani had smiled wanly, thanking him for the effort as she fed Nomi before giving her a bath and changing her into the little pink pajamas they’d packed but without eating herself. 

“Cookies!” Nomi cheered, clapping her little hands excitedly recognizing the ingredients he’d placed on the island around her. Even before he’d messed up, he’d stared getting into the habit of actually keeping food in his kitchen in the event he had company.

Malcolm smiled as her enthusiasm was catching and he was grateful to be a distraction for her too. He didn’t want Nomi to see her mother upset. She was already an intuitive little girl and he didn’t want her to worry. “Yes but I think I’m gonna need some help.”

“I can help,” Nomi confirmed scooting closer to the mixing bowl as he unconsciously moved closer, protecting her from potentially slipping off the island. “When Mama doesn’t work…I help her make treats sometimes.”

“What kind of treats?” Malcolm asked as he handed her the measuring spoon of brown sugar to add to the mixture of butter, powdered sugar, chuckling a bit at Nomi’s wide-eyed wonder at the amount of sugar going into these particular cookies.

“Biscuits…blueberry and lav…” Nomi trailed off, her little brow scrunching adorably trying to remember. 

“Lavender?” Malcolm supplied with no small amount of confusion, wondering why Dani would ruin a perfectly good pastry with a plant meant for aromatherapy.

“Yeah, that’s it! We also make brownies…Mama uses peas.” Malcolm’s eyes widened in horror at the idea of putting green peas in dessert. He knew Dani was an unfailingly healthy eater but that seemed to be a bridge too far even for her. “Mama uses peas in everything.”

Malcolm laughed as Nomi meant chickpeas and it was true that Dani did use chickpeas in everything, something he teased her about relentlessly as his partner could make dinner and dessert with that one food alone. Nomi leaned in, peering down into the mixing bowl full of chocolate chips and sugar before looking up at him curiously, “Why don’t _you_ use peas?”

Handing Nomi a spoon so she could help him drop the cookie dough onto the sheet, he leaned down whispering conspiratorially, “Can I tell you a secret?” The little girl nodded seriously, giving him the face he’d seen Dani wear countless times when he confided in her. “We don’t need peas.” 

Nomi giggled wildly as he kissed her cheek. Her little hand patting his cheek in approval, clearly pleased by this assertion and the idea of _real_ treats.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Dani looked up at the sound of her baby’s high pitched voice coming from the kitchen where she could smell cookies baking. She tried to shake off the memory of a face that haunted her nightmares but she couldn’t. She couldn’t shake the idea of the life she worked so hard to build for herself and her daughter out of ashes was about to crumble completely.

She watched Nomi happily and animatedly telling Bright a story judging by the way she kicked her little Totoro slipper clad feet–something Nomi always did when she was excited. Bright smiled down at her, the expression on his face was spun sugar sweet. Her baby lighting up in real time as he gave her his undivided attention. 

Dani wondered absently if Bright knew the effect he had on people. How being awarded some of his time could make someone feel like the only person in the world. After all, that’s how he’d always made _her_ feel. 

It was silly and it changed nothing but Dani let herself imagine what it would be like if this was her reality because it was _theirs._

What her life would be like if she never had to worry about looking over her shoulder or being chased out of her own apartment. If she never had to worry about not being able to protect the only thing that made her life worth living. If her baby had a biological father who loved her and she never had to worry about the one who didn’t. 

Her heart and head ached.

Dani’s tortured thoughts were interrupted by Nomi scrambling onto her lap, a giant chocolate chip cookie about an inch thick in hand. “Mama! Bright baked cookies and I helped. He said I was a good helper,” Nomi informed her proudly.

Dani smiled softly, ignoring the tears filling her throat while kissing the top of Nomi’s head. 

Bright settled next to her, placing a plate of cookies on the coffee table before pulling Dani’s blanketed feet into his lap, “The best helper, actually.”

Nomi looked up at her with a toothy grin as if to say _see?_

Dani placed another soft kiss, this time on her baby’s forehead. She looked up, catching Bright’s eye. His gaze was warm but she could never fool him and she recognized the concern the flitted across his face. She hated when he profiled her but he didn’t have to–not this time.

Bright knew about Nomi’s biological father but he didn’t know everything and now he would. After everything he’d done for them. She owed him that.

–––––––––––––––––––

Nomi yawned as she leaned back against Dani’s stomach. The sci-fi sounds of _The Mandalorian_ filling Bright’s apartment, giving her partner another opportunity to give his patented nerd facts much to her amusement and Nomi’s delight.

“Sleepy?” Dani asked as Nomi nodded, wiping her eyes. Usually her baby fought sleep as hard as she could, especially when Bright was around but it had been a long day for all of them. 

Dani looked around for a blanket or something to get them both settled. The last time they stayed over, she and Nomi ended up babysitting high-as-a-kite Bright and she had Nomi’s pink Melody blanket. She hadn’t thought to pack it this time.

She’d been on autopilot, her mind a million miles away. Dani had barely packed any of her things. She’d be going to work tomorrow with no makeup and her hair a mess. Though she supposed none of that actually mattered at the moment.

“Hey, um, I don’t wanna like put you out or anything, but where do you keep your blankets?” Dani asked as Bright’s brows furrowed in confusion. “It’s a little past bed time.”

“Oh…right,” he shook his head a bit as if remembering that there was in fact a little kid staying with him tonight. “I, uh, set up the guest room. I mean, no one actually stays here so there’s fresh sheets and everything. Nomi can sleep in there and you can sleep with me…” Bright’s eyes widened, realizing how that sounded as a bit of pink dusted his cheeks. “I–I mean, you can sleep in my bed. I have a lot of work to catch up on…you’ll have the bed to yourself.”

Dani shook off the strange bit of loneliness that carved a hole through her chest at the idea of sleeping alone but she had other things to worry about. They’d reached an understanding but it would be a lie to say that things were the way they used to be. The two of them were essentially resetting–again–and she shouldn’t be thinking about how his arms would feel around her–how she’d actually feel safe.

“I can tuck her in if you’d like…” Bright ventured hesitantly, his pale eyes gauging her reaction. She could tell he just wanted to help and it wasn’t easy but Dani wanted to let him.

“You want Bright to do it?” Dani asked Nomi, who at this point was curled up in her lap and only minutes away from sleep.

Without answering, Nomi scooted off her lap and into Bright’s who intercepted her instantly. Her head rested on his shoulder while he gathered her up with one arm. She saw the same contented ease on both of their faces now as she did in this very apartment when Bright held Nomi up to Sunshine’s cage on the very first night they met.

–––––––––––––––––––––

“What’s that?” Nomi pointed, looking at him with big curious eyes as they entered the guest room. Malcolm smiled, knowing she meant the giant white Moomin plush on the bed.

He’d bookmarked the “cute things for little girls” google search and for days all he could see was Nomi’s teary eyes asking if he still liked her and her Mama from a week ago. While he wasn’t trying to buy Nomi’s forgiveness, he just wanted to do _something._ Though when he ordered the plush, he hadn’t realized the Finnish cartoon hippopotamus would be three times Nomi’s size.

“This is a Moomin and I think he needs a friend.” Malcolm said with mock-seriousness, gently brushing stray curls out the little girl’s face.

“Can…I?” Nomi asked hesitantly, chewing her lip as if she didn’t know if she should.

“Of course, he’s yours,” Malcolm kissed her forehead softly before setting her down and watching her crawl over the bed, trying to wrap her little arms around her new plush. 

He squatted down to collect Nomi’s little Totoro slippers that she’d unceremoniously tossed off the side of the bed. Malcolm smiled a bit to himself, feeling like this was some sort of right of passage as he remembered one of Dani’s offhand quips that parenthood was 80 percent picking up shoes.

Nomi scooted underneath the covers, yawning once more. Malcolm scooted in after pulling an accompanying Moomin book off the the nightstand that he’d gotten for her. “Moomie has a book?” she chirped, leaning in to get a better look before looking up at him questioningly.

“He does,” Malcolm confirmed softly, wrapping his arm around the tiny toddler and bringing her closer to him. Situating the popup book on his lap, he allowed himself to think for a moment, _who could give this up?_

He thought back to the man who sought to hurt Dani, the man who never would’ve appreciated a daughter like Nomi. Malcolm was incredibly familiar with people who hurt others for no reason other than the fact that they could. After all, he’d grown up with and was victimized repeatedly by such a person but he couldn’t understand _how._

Malcolm was pretty resigned to the fact that fathering children wouldn’t be something he’d realistically be able to do. Multiple strong brain chemistry altering medications didn’t lend themselves to successful family planning and he would be shocked if his soldiers marched _anywhere_ but for that to happen with Dani and for that child to end up being as purely wonderful as Nomi....he’d be the most thankful man in the world. 

Malcolm studied the worst people on earth for a living and he knew how they thought but Nomi’s biological father…he would _never_ understand.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Gently extricating himself from Nomi who seemed to have drifted off before the end of the book. He pulled “Moomie” closer and replaced himself with Melody. He knew that being in a new place could be scary, especially a place such as his which was miles away from her familiar white and purple bedroom. If Nomi were to wake up at any point during the night, he hoped she’d feel comforted sandwiched between her two friends.

Malcolm leaned down, kissing her forehead, “Love you.” 

Nomi stirred suddenly, blinking her big browns at him sleepily, “Really?” 

Malcolm brushed his fingers through her soft dark curls, something else he’d seen Dani do countless times. “Really. I love you very much.” 

Nomi sat up, wrapping her little arms around him in a hug, “Love you too.” 

Malcolm folded Dani’s little one into his chest, feeling his heart swell with everything tender and _happy._ He still wasn’t sure what he was to Nomi or what Dani would even end up allowing him to be at this point, but this was a moment he’d file away and keep with him always. 

It felt good giving his love to someone who actually wanted it. He thought about Nomi’s mother who actually wanted it too and how he ran himself into the same brick wall because he was too afraid to hope for such a possibility. He’d never believed his love was worth much and he’d accepted that from someone who proved him right but he hoped he’d get the chance to truly show just how wrong he was.

“Wait!” Nomi said suddenly, looking up at him. Her doll-like face the picture of worry. As many times as he’d been to Dani’s apartment, he’d never seen any pictures of her as a girl but somehow he knew he was looking at one now. “Do you love Mama very much too?”

At that, Malcolm couldn’t help but smile as the Powells were nothing if not a package deal. “I do, I love her more and more every day.”

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani watched from just outside the door of Bright’s guest room. She knew the most she had to fear was Bright sneaking her baby more cookies–something he _would_ do as her partner needed just as much adult supervision as her daughter–but the idea of Nomi being out of her sight set her on edge.

 _“Really. I love you very much.”_ Dani’s hand came to rest at her heart just beneath the necklace she hadn’t taken off since Bright had given it to her. She knew Bright loved Nomi.

Despite being a man of many masks, the way her partner felt about her baby had never truly been in doubt. He didn’t have to listen to Nomi the way he did or shower her with attention and the gentle affection Dani didn’t believe he was even capable of–but he did. 

For Bright to tell Nomi he loved her especially seeing how happy it made her baby to hear it, it made Dani remember just why she’d wanted to trust the mercurial profiler in the first place. 

Dani tip toed back to the living room, content to let the the two of them have their moment. 

––––––––––––––––––-

“Thanks,” Dani murmured as Bright reclaimed his spot next to her on the couch.

“For…what?” Malcolm tilted his head in his confused Labrador way.

 _Loving her_ , Dani wanted to say but instead, “The white behemoth…I checked on you two for a moment, I can tell she loves it.”

Bright smiled one of his eye crinkling, dimply smiles, “I didn’t expect it would be carnival size but I hope it helps.”

Dani smiled a bit in return, “It will…Nomi is a little different. Even when she stays with my mom…in the middle of the night, she’ll sometimes sneak into her room to sleep with _Nonna._ Not being at home makes her a little nervous but Moomie and Melody will make her feel safe.”

Malcolm said nothing, just squeezing her hand before asking, “Are _you_ okay though?” 

One of the things he was trying to change was just asking her instead of trying to piece together her feelings. But more than that, Malcolm realized just asking if someone was okay helps. It was no secret that those around him thought he was horribly self-absorbed and he didn’t want to be like that anymore.

He remembered how often Dani asked him if he was okay when they first met. His first impulse was to brush it off, smile and pretend he was but he found himself being honest with her about his incredibly dysfunctional family, his disordered mental state and his demons. 

He hadn’t realized how much he craved someone’s concern and it wasn’t just anyone, it was coming from his beautiful co-worker. Despite how intimidating and rather prickly he’d found her initially, he still wanted her to like him. It was the biggest surprise when he realized that Dani was neither of those things. She was tough and guarded but she was incredibly sweet too and the only person in his life whose opinion of him wasn’t fully formed.

His family–his mother, Gil and Ainsley had to love him because they were his family. The people he encountered in his sort of outer circle were either skeptical of him or unnecessarily venerated him. Only Dani gave him the opportunity to show his real self–whatever that was. 

Dani looked down into the mug of Earl Grey, “I…I don’t know. It’s just I can handle everything but as soon as he comes around, I freeze and I know why. I mean, if he knew about Nomi...if he knew the truth...even though he couldn’t win, I know he’d take me to court for full custody just to torture me.” Her voice broke as just the thought of a _custody_ battle. Reopening old wounds, her baby being put through that. There was no greater nightmare for her than that one.

Dani put her mug on the table, feeling the tremors rack her frame. She tried to take deep breaths but her air didn’t come fast enough. She hadn’t had a panic attack in God knows how long but the thought of her ex even laying eyes on _her baby._ Hers. 

She was so consumed by her ex's dead shark eyes and her baby’s terrified cries that she didn’t notice when Bright pulled her to him, his strong arms wrapping her up and the scent of his spicy, smoky vanilla cologne a balm to her raw nerves.

“I promise I will _never_ let that happen,” Malcolm murmured into her hair. Nomi was his too. He didn’t care if they didn’t share blood. He would look after her and he would protect her. Perhaps he shouldn’t feel that way but he would never abide anyone else calling themselves her father.

He didn’t know much about custody laws but this wouldn’t be fought in the courts. The thought was dark and it took him to places he liked to pretend didn’t exist. He was Martin Whitly’s son and one didn’t grow up the way he did without knowing all the ways in which people could meet their untimely end. It should’ve scared him to know he wouldn’t hesitate. But it didn't and he wouldn't.

“I know you’re wondering how I could even put myself in this situation.” Dani curled into him, letting herself be comforted.

Malcolm kissed her hair, “I’m the last person who could ever judge you about abusive relationships. I mean, before you, no one’s ever treated me kindly but that was about as much as I thought I deserved.”

Dani took a deep breath, a tear rolled out of the corner of her eye, staining Bright’s soft black collared shirt. “I think I understand that. It was right after my overdose, I didn’t know who I was then. I was vulnerable and he took advantage of that. I thought I knew what I was doing because I was undercover and the relationship wasn’t real but I hid it from my mom because despite that, I didn’t think I deserved much better either. When I found out about Nomi I knew that there was someone who loved me–even if I didn’t love myself very much and that was all that mattered. I knew what I had to do because my ex was the type of person who didn’t care who he hurt and she–we–deserved better.” 

As Malcolm held his partner close, her words coiled around his heart acidic and corrosive. He wondered if she thought _he_ was the same. Someone who didn’t care if he hurt people–or worse–that he enjoyed it. 

He thought back to how he must’ve seemed to her. He never considered how his actions looked to someone who wasn’t in his head and he thought of how it must’ve looked to her when he was acting out–lashing out.

He’d never felt so ashamed.

Dani sniffled, thankfully unaware of the turmoil roiling through him at his mistakes coming back to haunt him once more, “When I started working with Gil…I was about six weeks pregnant and on my own. As terrified as I was to tell anyone, I told Gil because he reminded me so much of my dad and how I used to tell my dad everything growing up because no matter what he always knew what to do.”

Malcolm hummed, “Gil adopting all the lost kids in New York.”

“Most definitely,” Dani laughed a bit thinking how the tie that bound them was the person who found them both at their most vulnerable. She also wondered how coincidental it was that Gil made her take Bright home so many times when they first met. How he’d appointed _her_ Bright’s chief caretaker. Maybe Gil _knew_ …but then again, Gil knew everything. 

“I know today has been terrible, but I have it on good authority that this might make things a little better.” Malcolm reached over for the black M.A.C. bag on the coffee table his sister had delivered to his apartment as he’d asked.

Dani sat up, her brows reaching her hairline as she peeked inside the bag he’d placed on her lap. “Um…what is this?” 

Malcolm laughed a bit at his partner’s obvious confusion–the same face she made the last time he’d given her a gift. “Allow me to explain, one of your lipsticks ended up in my pocket and I…lost it…”

Dani nodded, amusement alighting her face. The first real smile he’d seen from her all day, “I can only assume a little rascal had something to do with that.”

“Yeah…I’d assume so too,” Malcolm grinned at the idea of possibly finding random objects in his pockets regularly. “But I felt bad because it was yours so I wanted to replace it.”

“That’s really sweet but it was just one lipstick…” She looked down finding about _eight_ of them in the bag.

“Uh, that was kind of the problem,” Malcolm admitted a little sheepishly. “The lipstick I lost was brown and each brown lipstick I saw looked the same…so I just kinda got all of them…”

Dani shook her head. Her smile grew at the thought of Bright being aimlessly led around a makeup store, shopping for her. “Well, thank you. It does make me feel better, especially finding these.” She held up two other boxes that clearly weren’t lipsticks. Malcolm nodded, pretending he knew what he was looking at. “I didn’t pack my makeup bag so foundation and concealer will actually be a lifesaver tomorrow. You even got my shade right too so I’m _very_ impressed.”

Malcolm felt rewarded to receive her big dimpled smile–his favorite smile–and he answered hers with one of his own. 

“Again, I pay very close attention,” he said smoothly, ignoring his sister’s voice in his head calling him a “glory hog” but thankful that Ainsley had made him look good and he would now owe her a lunch because of it.

“Thanks again…you didn’t have to do that.” Dani placed the bag back on the coffee table. She surprised him when she leaned in, reclaiming her spot and cuddling into his chest. 

Malcolm tried not to read too much into this. She had an incredibly hard day and after everything, they were essentially back to square one. He didn’t allow himself to think about the last time Dani was here and in his arms–when he _tried_ things and so did she. 

“It made you happy,” he said simply as his arms found their way around her waist.

Dani said nothing. Instead she leaned up slightly to kiss his jawline–only Bright took that exact moment to glance down at her and she caught his lips accidentally. 

She didn’t pull away and neither did he. 

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm looked through the new files Gil had sent to his iPad. His multi-day sabbatical/pity party had set him woefully behind on work and while his boss had been kind to let him figure himself out, that didn’t stop Gil from expecting a profile shortly.

He looked down when he felt little arms wrap around his knees. 

“Thank you for my big friend,” Nomi looked up at him. Her big owl eyes were bright as was her dimpled smile. 

Dani had gotten up early the way he assumed she always did to get Nomi ready for daycare. She’d dressed her daughter in the little gray sweater and leggings he’d packed in her bag.

“Did you and Moomie have a good night?” Malcolm squatted down to get eye level with Dani’s little one. Nomi nodded though her chin began to quiver. “Hey…what’s wrong?” he asked softly, wondering why she suddenly looked so sad.

Nomi didn’t answer, she just ducked her head and fell into his chest. Her sniffles answered his question and suddenly he understood why she was so reticent to go to preschool this morning as he brought her closer to him, wrapping an arm around her. 

He gently lifted the little girl’s chin, “If you and your Mama need _anything_ , I’m just a phone call away, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” Nomi squeaked, her bow-shaped mouth drawing into a pout. More tears threatened to spill from her eyes and Malcolm knew he’d give her the moon if only to see her smile again.

“I promise,” he smiled, cupping the toddler's cheeks and kissing her forehead before straightening the giant black bow Dani had fastened atop her curly top knot that had been knocked slightly askew.

He looked up, seeing Dani in sweats and and NYPD hoodie with Nomi’s backpack over her shoulder. The expression on her face was the same one he’d seen early on when he’d asked her for another chance. It was one that made him believe that perhaps she truly did see that he could be more than who he was and the way he’d acted–a look that made him feel warm and worthy.

“Ready to go, sweetie?” Dani asked, holding her hand out for her daughter. Nomi waddled up to her mother, taking her hand before Dani lifted the three year old onto her hip. Nomi hesitantly looked back at him as though she might never see him again. “You wanna give Bright a kiss goodbye?”

Dani noticed how much Nomi clung to Bright especially as she knew they were going to _Nonna’s_ after school. As nice as it was for him to share his home with them for a night, she didn’t want to be a bother but she didn’t want her baby to be upset either. 

She moved closer and Nomi leaned forward out of her arms. She put her little hands on Bright’s stubbled cheeks, kissing his nose. Her partner smiled broadly, one of his rare genuine smiles that crinkled around his eyes as he gave her baby a kiss right back. His tenderness for her daughter was something Dani would never get used used to. It was special and it meant the world to her. 

She knew that Bright wanted to step up for her–he wanted to do what he’d promised so long ago in the morgue–what he didn’t know was that he already had.

–––––––––––––––––

Dropping Nomi off and reassuring her that things would still be the same even if they had to spend a few days with Nonna, Dani headed back to Bright’s. She had to get dressed for work, pack up her things as well as Moomie and Melody that Nomi had left behind. 

Bright usually got to work whenever he felt like it which was either absurdly early or ridiculously late–the perks of consulting. Moving through the apartment, before she could gather her things, Dani heard the shower running.

Clearly, Bright was going into work the same time she was. He said last night he had a lot of work to catch up on and apparently that had been true. Bright had politely offered her his bed as he went upstairs to his office but it had been hard to sleep there without him. 

It had been hard to rest her head on pillows that smelled just like his rose scented shampoo and rest under covers that smelled like his sandalwood soap. It only reinforced how much she missed him and how much a kiss that was chaste and over too soon wasn’t enough for her.

Before Dani could think better of it, she found herself opening the door and slipping inside the bathroom.

–––––––––––––––––

Malcolm ran his hands over his hair, washing it out underneath the shower spray. He looked down when he felt arms wrap around his stomach. Slender ring covered fingers splayed across his abs.

“Sh–should I call the police?” He tried to joke but his voice came out a little shakier and higher pitched than he would’ve liked. He smiled as she held him closer, her softness pressed to his back.

“I am the police,” Dani kissed his shoulder and Malcolm wasn’t sure what was happening. He’d tried to be respectful and not assume anything he didn’t deserve–not after her hurting her and abusing her trust–yet again. But every part of him came alive at the feeling of her hands on his skin.

Malcolm sensed something off about her and the way she held him. She clung to him, her wet curls dripped down his arm with her face in his shoulder. Dani didn’t move, she just held him–so tight like she feared he’d push her away. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t push her away ever again. 

With that said, he wondered if it was the pressure–the stress of the last day that had gotten to her. There was nothing he hated more than Dani being upset–there was nothing that bothered him more. “Are you okay?”

“I missed you,” she said by way of an answer, her voice–the same husky tone from when she sang to him that morning. The words on his tongue didn’t pass his lips as he felt Dani’s hand drift lower down his stomach until his eyelashes fluttered and he felt himself break apart into each individual atoms.

She missed him but she couldn’t have missed him as much as he missed her. Desire and yearning nearly devoured him whole. 

His head tipped back, her name echoed against the shower walls–and not for a moment did he feel embarrassed. As Dani kissed the side of his throat, he felt her smile. He remembered from the last time–that night after their date, she _loved_ hearing how she made him feel and he wasn’t afraid nor was he shy to tell her.

“Wait…” Every letter breathy and unfocused as he waited to drift back into some semblance of sanity.

“You don’t want me to?” Dani murmured in his ear, her hand stilling and he willed himself not to look down–his control wouldn’t be able to withstand it.

Malcolm turned in her arms. In her dark eyes he saw passion and a yearning of her own but that wasn’t all. It wasn’t a sudden realization but no one had _ever_ looked at him the way she did–like she _truly_ wanted him–like he was precious to her.

Malcolm shook his head, there were many things he wanted but not _that_ –not yet. “No…I–" 

“Wanna try something?” Dani supplied for him, her lips quirking up and her breath washing over his lips as water pelted his back. He did because just like last time, _thoughts_ came to him that didn’t ordinarily. 

“Something like that…” Bright whispered, his pale eyes nearly glowing in the dim light above. Before she could respond, her partner gently pushed her back against the shower wall. His hands gripping her waist.

Dani counted the water droplets caught in Bright’s long fringe of dark lashes as he leaned in, kissing her slowly–desperately–like a drowning man dying to breathe. She didn’t notice when one of his hands hitched her leg around his hip. Without breaking the kiss, he leaned in just a bit more, pinning her against the wall until both of her legs wrapped around his waist.

He left her breathless and he left her undone and for the moment time stopped and nothing mattered.

––––––––––––––––––

Dani slumped against her partner, letting him hold her up as the warm shower spray ran over both of them. In the abstract, she’d never had anyone hold her up before. All she’d ever had was herself, but the man who held her in his arms was the strongest she’d ever known. 

“Did I hurt you?” Bright asked softly, running his hands over her hair and up and down her back. 

“I’m okay…” A smile ghosted over her lips at his earnest question. She lifted her head from his shoulder. “I needed that–I needed _you._ ”

“You have me.” His hand wound underneath her hair, pressing his forehead against hers. “ _Please_ stay…I need you to stay. I need to know you’ll be safe.”

Dani leaned back to look into her partner’s eyes. She’d seen so many emotions flitter through their pale depths. She’d seen coldness and anger–detachment and hopelessness but she’d never seen _love_ like this before.

She wanted to cry from the sheer emotion swelling within her. She’d never imagined someone loving her so much they wanted to protect her–that she _mattered_ that much. She never imagined looking into someone’s eyes and seeing the universe–only the universe was _her._

There was really only one thing Dani could say to him, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter update! Please forgive my slowness, I promise it won't take this long for the next one but thank you all so much for your continued love and support for this story. I hope you all enjoy it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does mention domestic abuse, if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution.

_Trouble on the home front. I think it’s important_ , the text from his sister read. Malcolm felt his jaw clench but he wouldn’t allow his mother to sour his mood.

No, they hadn’t repaired things and he hadn’t spoken to his mother in awhile–not since she tried to throw down the gauntlet and tell him who he should and shouldn’t be spending his time with. His mother was under the mistaken impression that he was the same person he’d always been–the one kowtowed to her every whim because he knew no other way. 

He wasn’t.

But no matter what–not even his mother could upset him this morning. His mind drifted back to his partner who he promised he’d see at work as he kissed her goodbye–a kiss that almost turned into _more._

More like what happened in his shower earlier that morning. The truth was that each time Dani allowed him physical intimacy, the more attached he became. 

Malcolm assumed that was why he’d been able to believe that he was more to his ex than he had been. People had always kept him at arms length but he needed closeness like he needed air to breathe. 

Moreover, every kiss, every touch, every taste left him starving for more and Malcolm couldn’t be more thankful that Dani wouldn’t ask for his distance because at this point, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to give it to her. He was just that far gone.

––––––––––––––––––––

Ainsley looked up at her brother finally making his appearance and the prince of darkness looked far too chipper. 

Her eyes narrowed as he took a seat across from her at the dining room table before a Cheshire cat smile spread over her M.A.C. Faux painted lips–courtesy of her brother–not that he knew that, “Real fun free of charge.”

“Shut up,” Malcolm said lowly but the slight blush spreading over his pale face told her _everything._

Clearly, her brother and his best friend–turned–girlfriend had reconciled and whatever that reconciliation had entailed must’ve knocked his socks off as Ainsley had never seen her brother like this. The man was practically floating.

“Well, well, well, it looks that little black bag of M.A.C. worked. You’re welcome, by the way,” Ainsley leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms and leveling her brother with a victorious smirk.

“Firstly, I _did not_ bribe my girlfriend with makeup,” Malcolm narrowed his eyes as that sounded even more absurd out loud.

“Of course not, you’d have to go to _Louis Vuitton_ for that and if you would’ve come to _me_ instead of mom, you’d be much further along with the girl you actually wanted to be with.”

Malcolm ignored that before resignedly asking, “Secondly, what do I owe you?” 

“Lunch at Thai Diner in Nolita and I’ll consider you paid in full,” Ainsley said as a spinach and goat cheese egg white omelette was placed in front of her.

“Done,” Malcolm sighed again, looking down at the decadent eggs benedict he had no intention of actually eating.

“Pleasure working with you, Mr. Whitly.” Ainsley replied just as the cloud of Chanel No. 5 announced their mother’s appearance in the dining room before she did.

“Great, now that the two of you are both finally here, I can make my announcement.” Jessica poured herself a mimosa before continuing. “I’m throwing a semi-formal New Year’s Eve party and I expect the both of you to attend.”

Malcolm stared at his mother. “ _That’s_ what was so important?”

“But of course.” Their mother waved a freshly manicured hand dismissively. “I think it’s important that we show we’re still a force to be reckoned with and it gives the two of you an opportunity to be… _social._ ”

 _Oh no_ , Ainsley thought to herself as blue fire ignited in her brother’s eyes. _This is so not good._

“I’m not going,” Malcolm pushed his chair back from the table, an ominous scratching against the hardwood. 

“ _Malcolm Alexander_ –" Their mother started, her voice dropping an octave.

“No. I’m sorry to disappoint you, Mother but I will not spend my New Year’s Eve being paraded around like Best in Show. I’m going to work, this conversation is over.” Malcolm stood and buttoned his suit coat. “Go set Ains up with the first mendacious degenerate you can find.”

“Yeah…the boy version of box girl is probably the junior version of Dad…don’t do me any favors. Seriously.” Ainsley said, before taking a bite of her omelette. 

Jessica gasped, wholly offended that her simple attempt at helping her son was looked upon by both of her children with such disdain and ridicule. She had good intentions. An acceptable young lady who’d consider her a friend was _not_ the worst thing in the world. It wasn’t her fault that looks could be deceiving.

Before Jessica could reply and defend herself, Malcolm’s phone rang and his attention was successfully diverted. She watched her son slip out the door without so much as a goodbye.

––––––––––––––––––––

“I think we know why Kaleb suddenly came back around,” Gil said tightly as he handed Dani a folder containing new case files.

Dani flipped through the folder, reading notes to a case originally given to Homicide. An old friend of his, Kevin Romano, ended up dead a couple of days ago and last seen exiting Kaleb's new club. 

She’d had his old one shut down and while she hadn’t been able to get him on charges other than tax and bank fraud, it was obvious her ex still held a grudge about having to start out all over again after having been released from prison. 

Would her ex boyfriend resort to murder if it came between him and his ability to make money? Dani certainly wouldn’t put it past him. In fact, her ex killing someone wasn’t that much of a stretch. She remembered looking into his eyes during the worst of it, weathering the storm of his anger, willing herself not to cry or react and seeing no soul–no nothing.

“I can only hold him for a few hours for violating the court order,” Gil’s jaw locked in place. “But trust me, he’s good for this.”

“I know and I’m gonna put him away for good this time,” Dani said resolutely as she was done being scared. Every day for nearly four years she waited for the other shoe to drop. She was done with it.

–––––––––––––––––––

Walking into the interrogation room, Dani placed the CSU photos on the table trying to remember that _she_ had the upper hand. _She_ was the one in charge. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite cop,” Kaleb drawled, leaning back in his chair.

Dani ignored him, “Your business partner turning up dead after last seen leaving Dollhouse, your club. That’s not at all a little suspicious to you?”

“Lots of people leave my club. What happened to Kev, it was sad but I had nothing to do with it. Though what’s suspicious is what you’re up to these days…” Her ex leaned in closer and Dani forced herself not to lean back. “You’ve got a kid now…is she for that guy I saw you with? You know, that preppy Prada wearing born-on-third-base type.”

 _Bright?_ How long had her ex been lurking around her apartment and did he see Nomi too? Dani took a deep breath as she was the one running his interrogation and her ex was doing what he always did, he looked for his opening and he took it, worming his way inside of her head.

“Is that who you cheated on me with?” 

“ _Cheated on you?_ Are you joking?” Dani recoiled, her voice high and incredulous. She’d let him win. “What we had was _not real._ ” 

Kaleb slammed his hands on the table, standing up suddenly. Dani flinched, more out of habit than fear as his hands were in cuffs and she was armed. If he wanted to get sporty, she was far more prepared than she had been those years ago. “ _How can you say that?_ ” he shouted at her.

“I had a job to do and even if I didn’t, did you forget about the bruises? All in places no one would see. Did you forget about the time you sent me to the hospital, how I needed stitches? _I don’t owe you anything!_ ” Dani realized that she was now shouting and not once had she mentioned the case.

“Powell…go take a walk,” Gil poked his head into the interrogation room. His heavily mustached mouth was turned down. She’d done what he hadn’t wanted her to. She’d become emotional, she'd given up the leverage that was rightfully hers.

–––––––––––––––––

Malcolm stood outside the interrogation room. While he was grateful for anything that would distract him from his mother’s nonsense, when Gil called him about this new case potentially involving Dani’s ex–Nomi’s biological father–he had a vested interest in getting to work and solving it.

He scarcely paid attention to the man himself, his eyes focused in on Dani and the way she flinched when her ex slammed his hand on the table and screamed at her. It had been a spontaneous burst of anger but it sought to intimidate and all Malcolm could think about was when he’d done the same.

His back had been turned to her when he destroyed the whiteboard that first time but that must have been how she’d reacted. The way she reflexively braced herself for a blow that she’d expected to come. 

Malcolm swallowed down the bile that rose up his throat. She must’ve looked that exact same way then. He remembered reassuring her the second time she’d witnessed his anger that he’d never put his hands on her but that first time when he'd been angry at her and himself and the world around him…how on Earth could she have known that?

“… _did you forget about the bruises? All in places no one would see. Did you forget about the time you sent me to the hospital, how I needed stitches?”_

He’d felt Gil stiffen beside him, hearing Dani’s own anger–her own loss of control but Gil knew all of this already. Malcolm didn’t and the guilt, the pain, the idea that someone could do something like that to the woman he loved with all his heart…he didn’t know what to do.

He felt terrible knowing that he’d made Dani feel just as unsafe at one point. He felt even worse knowing all of that had been over someone who hadn’t deserved his grief. 

His ex wasn’t a very good person. She herself would not have spared even a singe tear for him had their roles been reversed. His ex was neither kind nor generous but how many people did he know outside of his partner were? Not his mother. Not his sister. 

Malcolm had thought perhaps he had a chance at something different but at the end of it, he’d just gone back to what was comfortable and he’d been angry at the loss of even that small bit of connection even if was hardly a connection at all. 

That anger led to reminding Dani of someone who’d abused her. 

Malcolm didn’t know where to start or even what to say that would suffice. Truthfully, there was nothing Malcolm could say. This was a shame he’d take with him to the grave but what he could do was help her solve this case. He could be there for her. He could support her. He could support Nomi. 

“Gil, I don’t know what happened in there. I let him get in my head. I always do.” Dani apologized as she walked out of the interrogation room and a stone-faced JT walked in. Her voice was tremulous and it was obvious she was beating herself up about it.

“Hey, we’re gonna nail his ass to the wall. I know it’s hard but just focus on the job and keep your head in the game.” Gil squeezed her shoulder, before joining JT and leaving the two of them alone.

Malcolm could see the storms clouding his partner’s pretty face as she’d exited the room and instead of trying to talk to her–trying to make her talk to him–he reached out and squeezed her hand gently yet reassuringly.

Dani smiled a bit, accepting her partner’s comfort before ducking out of the room. She didn’t know how much he’d heard of her outburst but knowing Bright, probably all of it.

If that were the case, there were likely more things they had to talk about but she couldn’t worry about that now. She had to make calls, reach out to old contacts. Her ex had gotten the best of her just then but she had to make sure it would be the last time. Her life– _her baby’s life_ –depended on it.

––––––––––––––––––

Dani sat at her desk waiting for the subpoena to come through for her ex's financial records and the warrant to search his club. Her mind was running away from her. Gil couldn’t hold him and he’d bonded out for the stalking charge a half an hour ago. 

She had to go pick up Nomi from preschool. She didn’t know how much her ex knew and where he was lurking. He wouldn’t be able to walk into a preschool without certainly being arrested but her ex was desperate which made him all the more dangerous. 

The reason he’d showed up at all was to intimidate her–to get her to back off knowing that this case potentially implicating him would cross her desk. A migraine was starting to form between her brows and her hand was beginning to tremble as she dug through her bag for her keys.

Dani looked up when she felt gentle fingers glide along her back. She would’ve stiffened and shrank away if she didn’t know who it was. Bright smiled as he sat atop her desk, crossing his legs at the ankles. 

They’d largely been separated today. She’d spent most of her day on the phone and he’d spent the majority of his day sitting in on her ex’s interview with Gil and JT in between a trip to the crime lab to take a look at the body of the business partner who’d been found in his car in the parking lot of his Upper West Side high rise.

“What did you see?” Dani asked, leaning forward on her elbows.

“Three gunshot wounds, one to the head and two to the chest. It was clean yet excessive as the first shot would’ve killed our victim instantly. Altogether uninteresting though,” Bright wrinkled his nose–something Dani shouldn’t have found as cute as she did considering the circumstances.

“Sorry, it wasn’t twisted enough for you.” Dani tilted her head, regarding her partner with a raised brow, drawing Bright’s lovely dimpled grin. 

“Unfortunately, the most exciting part of my day was Edrisa asking rather bluntly if I had–and I quote–‘made a baby with you.'” Bright’s fingers absently wound through her curls, softly brushing her cheek.

“Not this time,” she remarked dryly, caught between snorting and rolling her eyes. Though if she knew her partner as well as she did, Bright being so taken aback by the medical examiner’s awkward nosiness not realizing she’d meant _Nomi_ probably flashed back to this morning, completely giving it away and embarrassing the both of them. “Speaking of babies, I have to go pick up mine. Though I’m waiting on his bank statements to come through and I didn’t call the babysitter to take Nomi to my mom’s. I don’t wanna bring her here…not now.”

Dani sighed as the thing she’d always fought so hard for–work and home being entirely separate–was now colliding faster than she could control it.

“What if I pick her up and bring her home with me?” Malcolm offered a little hesitantly, gauging Dani’s reaction. He didn’t want to overstep but he did want to make things easier for her. He knew she was dealing with a lot and he wanted to help her any way he could He wanted to truly be her partner. 

He’d left her high and dry without explanation in the past. He’d treated her like a doormat–wanting all the benefits of her care and kindness without allowing anything that resembled reciprocity. He wanted her to know that the person he was trying to be now was the person he’d always wanted to be for her. He wanted to erase any and all reminders of her ex.

Dani blinked at him, momentarily stunned at Bright’s earnest offer, “You’d do that?” 

No one other than her mom, grandma and Gil had ever looked after Nomi by themselves. She didn’t trust anyone with her child and Nomi wouldn’t accept being around anyone other _Nonna_ , _Gran Gran_ and Papa. She knew Nomi would love the opportunity to spend extra time with Bright but more than that, Dani couldn’t imagine being so comfortable with any relative stranger in her life enough to trust them with her daughter but Bright had never truly been a stranger. 

She couldn’t explain it without calling on terms like _fate_ or _destiny_ , things she’d long considered herself too much of a realist to consider, but she knew her partner before she’d gotten to know him.

Bright replied simply what Dani knew he would, “Of course.”

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm found himself looking around at the brightly colored posters, the space was modeled after a little schoolhouse. Nothing in life prepared himself for being on the inside of a preschool but here he was. 

He walked up to the front desk, an older woman with a red bouffant piled on top her head and small reading glasses perched on the end of her nose regarded him with a quizzical look, “Um, I’m Malcolm Bright, can you tell me where I can find Nomi Powell?” 

The woman smiled a bit at the mention of the timid yet sweet little girl in the three year old class. Nomi’s mother was among the youngest parents they had but no one had ever seen her father. She wondered if _this_ was Nomi’s father. 

Though Nomi’s mother was very pretty, it was still a bit of a surprise that her father would be this dark haired young man in his expensive overcoat and navy blue suit. As she pulled up Nomi’s check out file on her computer, she discretely catalogued the young man’s rather handsome face comparing it to the little girl’s. 

Nomi bore a _significant_ resemblance to her mother, but she did notice the similarities between her and the young man she assumed was her father. The relative fairness of Nomi’s complexion in comparison to the olive tone of her mother’s made it apparent but it was the almost elven-like facial features between Nomi and this young man that proved to be a dead giveaway in her book. Though their eyes were different colors, they both appeared almost too large for their respective faces along with their shared pointed chins.

Seeing the young man’s name added adjacent to Nomi’s mother’s, just above the names of her grandparents who were not actually married she believed, the woman handed him the iPad to sign the little girl out, “Her classroom is the second door to your right.”

Malcolm nodded, smiling at the woman before setting off down the hall, feeling oddly like he himself had just been profiled.

––––––––––––––––––––– 

Opening the door to the classroom, seeing other little children milling about, he spotted Nomi sitting at a little reading table by herself with a book, the curls Dani had artfully slicked down around her hairline now created a fluffy halo around her temple and her hair bow was relatively off kilter. 

Malcolm remembered Dani telling him that Nomi was incredibly shy and he could picture her keeping to herself. He grew impossibly soft as he’d been the same way as a child. 

“What are you reading?” He squatted down next to her. Nomi looked up as she hadn’t noticed his appearance, her big dark eyes widened before she leapt out of her chair, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. 

“You came back!” Nomi chirped, patting his cheeks happily and beaming at him.

“Of course I did. I’m not going anywhere, remember?” Malcolm smiled at her, kissing her forehead. He realized once more that he didn’t have to twist himself into knots to be wanted. In a situation that was truly right, he simply had to be present. “Did you have a good day?”

Nomi nodded as Malcolm maneuvered to return her book to the shelf behind them and grab her backpack all while she clung to him like a Koala bear. 

“Will you tell me all about it?” Malcolm went to the little section that Nomi pointed out was hers with her nap blanket where he helped her back into her blue peacoat. He opened her backpack and found tiny gray mittens, helping her slip them on.

The little one blinked up at him now entirely bundled up, nodding once more before her eyes widened, “But where’s Mama?”

"She’s stuck at work, you’ve got me for the time being. Is that okay?” Malcolm replied with furrowed brows and faux serious tone as he put her backpack over his shoulder and lifted her into his arms.

Nomi giggled, her little fingers smoothed out the the space in between his brows–the same thing he did to her whenever she looked worried. He smiled softly, finding it impossible to love this little girl more than he did.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani let herself into Bright’s apartment with _her key_ finally getting back to Tribeca after making a stop at her apartment after leaving work. Since she agreed to stay with her partner, she went back to get more clothes for the two of them. She’d also reclaimed the groceries she’d bought yesterday as they’d likely go to waste considering it wasn’t clear when she’d be back at her apartment in time to cook anything. 

As much as she didn’t want to overstep, there was something _nice_ about coming home to her partner and her daughter like this. She didn’t want to think too hard or too much about it as she and Bright had just now gotten to a better place than they had been but it would be _nice_ to have more nights like this.

As her mind hinted at thoughts of permanence, she spotted Nomi jetting across Bright’s living room in her socks shrieking happily. 

Before Dani could say anything or even close the door behind her, she watched Bright _leap_ across his coffee table before scooping Nomi up with one arm throwing her over his shoulder. His smile was entirely dimples and his buoyant laughter joined in with her baby’s. 

The two of them stopped on a dime as they took in her high browed look, twin looks of guilt on both of their faces. Bright placed Nomi on her feet who waddled up to her wrapping her arms around Dani’s knees knowing full well she was in trouble.

“Is that what we do in the house, Nomi Bianna Powell? Do we run like we’re outside or do we use walking feet?” Dani placed her hands on her hips looking down at her three year old expectantly.

“Walking feet, Mama,” Nomi mumbled, looking up at her with big pleading eyes. “I’m sorry…no more running.”

“Okay, no more running.” Dani hoisted her baby onto her hip giving her a kiss which Nomi accepted, tucking her head under Dani’s chin.

Malcolm watched the exchange with a certain amount of wonder.

In all of his time spent with them, it was the first time he’d seen Dani reprimand her daughter. He supposed it happened as little kids were little kids but what surprised him was that his partner’s voice was stern but unmistakably loving. Nomi knew her mother wasn’t happy but not for a moment did she think Dani was truly angry at her or worse. 

He thought of his own experiences growing up and how he’d learned very early on that stepping out of line wasn’t to be tolerated. If it wasn’t his mother’s legendary tongue lashings and her ability to be just plain _mean_ , it was his mother making her point physically. 

That wasn’t to say his mother hit him often because she didn’t, but it did happen just like it happened that time he called her out about her own complicity in his father’s misdeeds when he first moved back to the city. 

Maybe his mother's reactions stemmed from her alcoholism or maybe she just didn't know another way but displays of anger and rage were what he’d grown up with and Malcolm never questioned it.

He’d been made to normalize what just wasn’t normal and knowing what he knew now, he couldn’t afford to forget that.

––––––––––––––––––––

“So do I have to give you instructions on what to do when babysitting next time?” Dani looked at him with raised brows as they moved around each other in the kitchen. He’d taken the environmentally sound tote bag of groceries off her hands, learning that she’d intended to cook.

Malcolm had wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to as she’d had yet another long day, but he remembered Dani telling him that cooking and working with her hands took her mind off things. Though he didn’t know his way around the kitchen as well as she did, he wanted to help. He wanted to share in something she liked doing but more than that, he liked seeing Dani in his previously unused kitchen making herself at home. 

He had a vague and muddled memory of the first time Dani had been in his kitchen. He’d been high off his ass and Dani had barely liked him at the time but her making him grilled cheese in his intoxicated state it meant _something_ to him. He’d done nothing about it but it had only reinforced the idea that he _liked_ his partner in his home and what he _liked_ led to what he _wanted_ and for him, wanting things had always been dangerous.

“Hmm? I feel like I need to give you details,” Dani went on about his rogue take on babysitting and drawing him out of his head as she put several fresh ingredients on the kitchen island.

“Okay, maybe hot chocolate and cookies wasn’t ideal–"

“ _Bright!_ ” 

“I stand corrected…it won’t happen again.” Malcolm laughed as Dani rolled her eyes at him. 

“What is this anyway?” he peered down at some type of meat she was stirring in a skillet, it smelled amazing though he didn’t know what it was.

“It’s Nduja…fermented sausage.” Dani looked over her shoulder at him before laughing a bit likely at the look on his face. “Don’t make that face, Bright. When Nduja is taken out of the casing, it just dissolves into the pan. Once I add it to the Orecchiette and then toss in bitter greens which absorbs the richness and then Parmesan too…I promise it won’t make you sick.” 

Malcolm just looked at her fairly unconvinced as was his way, but Dani’s cooking had always made him feel better not worse and he supposed he’d give it a try if only to make her happy. “And if you don’t like it, I’ll make you a grilled cheese,” Dani bumped his shoulder playfully before turning her attention back on the food.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing the side of her head, “Always taking care of me.”

Dani hummed, relaxing into Bright’s embrace as she finished up with dinner. Something white caught her eye as she looked up, realizing it was Nomi wholly overpowered by Moomie as she tried to move him from the guest bedroom to the couch. 

Unable to lift her massive new friend, Nomi just sat him down on the floor in front of Bright’s movie theater sized tv, plopping down on top of him, fully engrossed in _The Mandalorian_ just as she had been last night. Her baby hadn’t a care in the world. She was where she wanted to be.

Dani smiled to herself. As horrible as these last two days had been–they’d also been beautiful in their own ways. Out of the ugliness was _this._ A day where she’d screamed at her ex and relived one of the worst times of her life, she also got to come home and feed her family. 

Maybe it was only for a couple days at best but for now, she wanted to live in this moment.

––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm blinked awake as the sun streamed in through the window. It hadn’t been very long since he’d actually fallen asleep. He’d stayed up late pouring over every detail of the Romano case. He wasn’t crafting a profile this time, but he wanted to be the one to solve this case. 

Maybe he’d never be able to make up for the past but he felt like he owed this to Dani. He owed it to her to make sure she never had to worry about someone hurting her or Nomi. She deserved peace, she didn’t deserve to live her life afraid. Malcolm knew very well what that felt like and he’d never wish that on anyone–certainly not Dani.

He’d spent most of yesterday with Gil and JT sitting in on interviews of everyone who’d been working at Dollhouse that night. 

They all knew who did it. Dani’s ex had motive, he’d been advised by Romano on a deal for a new club property that had fallen through. A 1.5 million dollar down payment essentially down the drain. As Malcolm had combed through bank records, that was 1.5 million her ex didn’t have.

When he solved cases, he looked for the bizarre thread–that thing people didn’t see but _he_ did. Malcolm leaned on instincts that had been honed since he was a child but his instincts weren’t needed. The killer hid in plain sight. The motive was petty and vengeful. There was nothing creative or exceptional about any of this but he had to close this case and make it airtight. 

He needed a Felony Murder charge that had no choice but to hold up in court. .40 caliber pistol shell casings were found near the scene but no murder weapon had been recovered yet. Malcolm would’ve been up all night pacing but once he’d come down the stairs seeing Dani asleep in his bed, he’d gotten in beside her. He couldn’t help it. All he wanted was to be near her. Once again, he hadn’t thought about putting on his restraints. 

As he tried to clear through the sleep haze, Malcolm realized that during the night Dani had turned over, effectively making him the little spoon. Not that he minded–at all. His partner curled around his spine in a way that he found kitten-like with one hand underneath his arm and over his heart and the other hand tangled in his hair. Her soft snores in his ear soothed him.

He’d been sleeping so deeply, he hadn’t noticed that Nomi at some point during the very early morning hours had wedged herself underneath his chin and he’d reflexively held the three year old protectively to his chest.

Malcolm thought of how morning after morning he woke up alone and how each time it got just a little harder yet on this morning, he found himself sandwiched between two Powells. 

He couldn’t explain it exactly but the two of them made him feel _safe_ the way someone should feel when at home but he never had–not at the Manor and certainly not here, where his life had been a proverbial revolving door for bad things to come and go as they pleased.

None of that mattered as for once he had something good–something to truly call his own and he wouldn’t give it up. His mind whispered possibilities–things that ordinarily would rise up to terrify him. It did the first time he thought of that risk he just hadn’t been able to take. 

These thoughts were scary too but Malcolm couldn’t go backward–he’d lived his life that way for too long–he had to go forward.

**Author's Note:**

> OMG massive thanks to @Florexandra for helping me through this idea and working through this. This is the beginning of my first AU and my first truly long-form fic and I was inspired by her and her friend's "A Festival of Brightness" which I HIGHLY recommend as it ruined my life and made it better all at once. I hope everyone enjoys reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.


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